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For those of you who are happily married...


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The first thing that hit both my wife and I was that we had each never had a better friend, and that is where our relationship started, more than 2 years before we actually started dating. We were just totally comfortable around each other and we "best buds". Of course, we both found each other attractive and both of us thought about maybe we could have a relationshipe beyond friendship, but not until that first date did it hit me that not only have I found a best friend, but also a confidant and the woman I wanted to be the mother of my children (believe it or not, it was not the sexual aspect, but rather that I thought she would make a fantastic mother...and I was right!). 3 months after we started dating, on Christmas Eve, I asked her to marry me. 2 months later we were married, and now 15 years later we both believe the best part of our relationship is that we are still very best friends first, then husband and wife.

 

I think the fireworks thing happens, but rarely. I think you are much better off looking for compatability instead of fairy tales.

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...and now 15 years later we both believe the best part of our relationship is that we are still very best friends first, then husband and wife.

 

My wife and I are best of friends and that's the best part of our marriage. We were friends and enhanced one another professionally for five years so it was no stretch to be friends and enhance one another personally.

 

I've said before that the greatest difference between my first marriage and this one is that this time, I married my friend!

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We knew each other in high school but it wasn't until college that we became friends. He expressed interest in me and I didn't go for it at first. He wore me down though lol. We were really good friends first so when I realized he liked me I wasn't open to the idea because I really enjoyed our friendship. I ruined a friendship earlier because it became something more and I was afraid that I would lose him being apart of my life.

 

My first thought when I started to look at him as my future: "He is a really handsome man...why not!" :p

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My wife and I are best of friends and that's the best part of our marriage.

 

I always felt that the secret to the success of my grandparents 68 year marriage was the fact that they were each others best friend..

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And now for a slightly more serious answer.

 

I can't believe you understand what I'm talking about.

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RecordProducer
I guess the reason I'm asking is because I believe I have this overly-romanticized fantasy of hearing harps and violins or the clouds parting when I finally meet "the one." I know this is irrational, and worries me that I might have already met several guys who could have been "the one" but didn't consider the possibility at the time because I didn't feel something powerful right from the get go...

 

So were your thoughts is like "CAPOW!" or is it like "hmmm...?" ??

Very interesting question. I think it actually depends on what you seek in a mate. There are people who want a wife who is domestic, loyal, will be a good mother,a nd not nag or drink or cheat. They might not care about the "wow" thing; they might hook up with a girl they've known for years and end up marrying her. So being happily married doesn't mean to everyone what it means to you. If you want to have eternal passion with your spouse, for example (which is great, IMHO), you definitely need to feel the wow at some point of knowing them. If you're very impressed by their charm, but feel like you can't trust them then it's possible that they would give you a lot of drama in the marriage.

 

It's easy to bullsh*t about it, but hard to say what's what in reality, cuz people fake their qualities all the time. They can't fake wit, intelligence, looks, knowledge, but they fake character, sincerety, compassion, understanding... orgasms.. :laugh:

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RecordProducer
:lmao: :lmao:

 

Now I want to know your second thought.

Did your trunk find another trunk and you fell in deep sh*... love? :D

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my first thoughts were (in no particular order):

 

she's really attractive

like to get to know her

I like the mysterious type...dark sunglasses, driving a BMW

does she like guys or gals

why does her left shoe have a big L handwritten on it and her right a big R

nice hair

wonder what goes on beneath that whole SHY routine

 

Our first date was a 20 mile bike ride followed by dinner.

I can't say at that point I knew she was it but I sure felt a deeper

connection to her (as a person) and that she was sincere, pure, honest

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When I first met her I thought she was only a few years older than me. I would have guessed 32-35. I was shocked when I found out her age but I didn't let it stop me. She was sitting on a bench on the boardwalk eating a some french fries and I thought she looked interesting. I struck up a conversation with her and at first I just wanted it to be a fling but she hooked me. Once I got to know her I fell in love. She is everything I could ever want in a woman.

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Did she tell you during sex?

 

Nah she told me on the first date but it didn't really matter that much to me. I sometimes feel older than I am and besides the age difference everything else fits so well. Men marry younger women all the time so if the love of my life is older than me what is the big deal?

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My first thought was, he's the best looking guy here. Why does that girl, (didn't yet know anyone's name) get to sit beside him? Then I thought he was the kind of guy that would jumps from girl to girl. Which, as it turns out, I couldn't have been more wrong about.

 

I think the way I am totally and completely comfortable with him is what made me know for sure that he was "the one". To say he's my best friend is putting it mildly. :love:

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re:

 

Star Gazer: " For those of you who are happily married...what was your first thought when meeting your future husband/wife?"

 

Not married now...h #1- married him to save both our a*ses from the miserable lives we both were stuck with; h #2- could see myself married to him the instant we met; #3 -simply wasn't *thinking* with that one, SG.

 

-Rio

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