michael22 Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 I have been with this girl for a few months, but we have been really good friends for the last 8 years or so, we are only 20, 21 so 8 years of our lives is a long time. We are going to mexico for a vacation in a month or so and we have talked about marriage and such and she seems ok with it other than it being so quickly, and i have always really liked her. Her mother even told her father that i was going to be the one to take his daughter from him so obviously her parents like me. Is a nice vacation spot in mexico the place/ time to do such a thing or should i give it more time. Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Being friends for any amount of time does not necessarily mean that the two of you will make a good couple, it takes a while for people to stop acting like friends and build a dynamic that is what they are as partners, I think you should let that fully develop first before you propose. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Being friends while children - and yes 12 and 13 year olds are children - is nothing like dating as an adult, and it's even further from the responsibilities and commitments of marriage. Have you two ever even dated other people? Had long term relationships? Dealt with the any break-ups? Have you ever had arguments? How did you deal with them? Yes, it is much too early to propose after you've only been dating a few months. You need to be a couple for much longer, deal with the issues that come up as adults, have serious discussions about your future - like, how you will deal with conficts and problems, where you will live, how you will handle your finances, how you will handle children, and what about college, jobs, etc. You should not rush into marriage as it is a LIFETIME commitment. What's your rush, anyway? If you truly love each other that much, you will still love each other in a few years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author michael22 Posted February 16, 2007 Author Share Posted February 16, 2007 well, i guess there are also the circumstances in which we are in, which in one way makes proposing make since but i understand the question of why not wait because we would still love eachother later. She is in college, studyin to be a nurse and i am in the navy. I intend to go to college in the future, i know we would be fine with the distance and things of that nature, it just makes since to be together instead of testing a relationship with the long distance Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Why cant you be together even if you are not married? If you were to get married she would just find a nurses job wherever you get sent to, why cant she do that now? She will never have a problem finding work, nurse is the type of thing you can take anywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author michael22 Posted February 16, 2007 Author Share Posted February 16, 2007 this is where it gets a little fuzzy. if she were to move now, out of state tuition is a lot more expensive, and i know that the military would help to pay for that and i know that requires marriage, and no im not pulling the bribe stuff either. kinda humurous. (not her idea at all) just me thinking of everything. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Again, if you love each other and are meant to be together, then you can be adults and do what you need to do - finish college and do the navy thing - while living apart. It will make it all the sweeter when you are finally ready to get married. No one should get married while still in college...focusing on her studies and graduating should be her first priority, not figuring out how to be a newlywed, especially not in a military situation which is so much harder. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts