Really

[NorCalDave]

So today I went to the gym and guess who's car I see there in the parking lot. Hers.

I thought she'd be working today, I was really surprised to see her there.

When I went in, she saw me and walked the other way.

Usually she comes up to me to at least say hi, but not this time.

I had sent her a letter a couple days ago that allowed me to get some final things off my chest. I basically told her that it's too bad she's so codependent with her ex because she'll probably never be able to have a healthy relationship as long as she's still wrapped up in her ex still. And I told her how I have nothing to be ashamed of, that I loved her with all my heart and I know I am capable of loving and that's enough for me. I made a smartass comment at the end saying "Good luck in your relationship with Jim, you guys are a model couple!"

I have a feeling she was pissed about the letter and hence didn't even want to talk to me.

If that's how it has to be, where if we run into each other we ignore each other, then so be it.

It was honestly weird seeing her and not at least saying hi. But I stood my ground and avoided her like she was avoiding me. I know she saw me, and she knows I saw her.

Maybe she doesn't want to give me false hope, maybe she's pissed about the letter, whatever. It is what it is. I just need to write this and get it off my chest because honestly it was weird seeing her but not being able to talk to her.

When I think about why this is, it's not my fault. I didn't cheat on her, I didn't lie, I didn't not love her in any way. There was nothing I could have done to avoid all this. You love someone and hope they love you back. She did for some time, and she decided to walk away. It's not my fault, and now it's up to me to deal with it and move on. I'm trying!

[Davis]

Bro! You're turning back into a pussy again!! WTF happened to you!? You sent her a letter!?!? What kind of a wuss-boy are you!? Maybe you should think about how she and her girlfriends are now laughing over your letter and saying what a little Biatch you are! You should have never wasted the paper! Remember what I said before?: all you have left is your pride and your dignity! I would have never, ever contacted her or written a letter. You went into the gym when she was there? Another weak, puss move! I would have left. You wished her and Jim "good luck"? Bro, are you a total dork and retard?

 

As far as going out. Who cares if the young girls are retarded?? You don't have to marry them or have a relationship!! My point was you should get your @ss out and focus on some young hotties with hard bodies!! They can at least be a diversion for you! And I think one of those bending over in front of me in a G string would get my mind off of anything including a nuclear explosion! I'm not being funny either. I think you should get out and mingle with some hotties. You should have some meaningless sex too even if you don't want to do it. You want to move on? I'm telling you how!

 

NORCAL: BACK TO NO CONTACT!!! NOT TO BE HARSH OR KICK YOU WHEN YOU'RE DOWN, BUT STOP BEING A LITTLE PUSSY! YOU'RE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF!!

[oppath]

Don't think you are a wussy for sending the letter! Sorry, Davis, I know you weren't trying to hurt but I think you are wrong. Sometimes it IS better to let your thoughts and emotions loose. There is no perfect way to react following a breakup, and I have no criticisms of sending the letter. I don't endorse it, but I don't feel it is bad either.

 

How rational is it that her and her friends will read it and laugh? That is not at all rational. She is likely angry, but also feels sad she hurt you. The only things her friends will say (unless you were very mean) are "you don't need any more drama." They probably don't have strong opinions on the matter at all and could care less.

[NorCalDave]

Okay, I sent the letter. No going back on that now. Yes, I wish I wouldn't have sent it, because it did nothing other than to show her I am still struggling with getting over her.

I didn't say anything insulting or anything, just let her know that I have her figured out.

At least I didn't go up to her at the gym. Be proud that I stood my ground! I totally wanted to go talk to her but I didn't.

I didn't go to church yesterday either. I wanted to.

So, I am doing good, except for the letter.

I haven't called or begged or done anything stupid.

I just wanted her to know that she wasn't being sly, that I knew her ex was back in town.

Something in me wanted to tell her that I figured her out and I know what's going on.

Davis, how do you have so much strength to stay away from your ex?

Sometimes it feels like there is no one else out there for me. I am not bad looking, plenty of girls look at me, but I don't feel "it" for any other girls the way I feel about her.

I keep plotting and thinking of ways I can get her back. I got her back last time by leaving her be for 7 months and when we ran into each other it was like fresh and new. I guess NC is the only option, for healing and making her miss me.

I know it should be all about me, but I do want to reconnect in the future, even if as friends.

[oppath]

Who cares about the letter? So what if you caused her a few moments of grief after how she's made you feel! You did and said some things that aren't perfect in your mind. Big deal. You will get past that. All your actions mean is that you sincerely felt love for this women and you are able to establish intimate bonds. You feel a loss. Big deal. If she thinks that makes you weak, she is blind to human emotions. She wasn't completely honest with you and you do have the right to express anger or disappointment, even AFTER the break up. So while it would have been "nice" if you hadn't sent the letter, don't resort to thinking "I SHOULD NOT" have sent it. I'm willing to bet a couple months down the road you'll feel GLAD you said what you did. You don't right now because you want a response. You want an apology or expression of honesty.

 

You are not going to get it. She has consistently not given you an explanation with integrity. I said some HARSH things to my ex and YES, I regret it. At the same time, she kind of deserved it. Having a weak moment does not make me a weak person. I am glad I said what I did. She needs to know how her deceit, or sparing of feelings by not being honest, is hurtful. If I annoy her in doing that, so be it. It's done. I hope not to do it again in a future situation, but I hope I choose more wisely and assert early in a relationship how I expect to be treated, even in a break up.

 

The thing to learn from the letter is not, "don't do something like this." It is to be more wise when choosing a gf and to assert your boundaries or drop her earlier. In the present, you will experience a great loss, and that is difficult, but in the long run, the entirety of this experience will be fruitful for you.

[Davis]

Oppath. We totally disagree on this one. He can write 50 letters if he wants to let emotions loose, but I don't think should send any of them. I don't think there's anything to gain by sending a letter or email, and most likely, you will feel and probably look like a fool. I think some comments will be made between her and her friends regarding NorCal's letter. I'm sure they won't be positive either.

 

I could certainly hear my ex saying "God, Davis just won't get a clue and let go. He's such a psycho" if I had sent my ex a letter. I think a dumpee has only pride and dignity left and he/she should do whatever possible to preserve it for self-esteem. I would just never want my ex to think she's still having an impact on me or that I'm still hurting over her.

 

NorCal. Like you said, it's done now, but don't do it again!! I do understand why you wrote the letter, I've wanted to send a similar one to my ex in the past, but for reasons above and because my friends keep telling me that my ex deserves absolutely nothing in response from me because of the sh**ty way she treated me I never did. Regarless, your letter did break your NC and puts you back at square one in a way. I do commend you not talking to her at the gym and not going to church (although you might try a different location for a while).

 

You are back-sliding, aren't you?! Remember the other day you had your list of pros and cons on here?? That pro list was short. You better take that list out again. Thinking of getting her back?? WHY? You already know it's not going to work out and in the end you will be heart-broken again. NC is for you, man. You need to stop thinking about doing NC to get her back!!

 

How do I stay so strong?? Discipline, I think. You know about that if you're into athletics or working out. It's a mind set. The other part is that I'm angry about how she went out behind my back and never said a word. I think she's a real piece of sh**t with no morals. I would never, ever let her have any satisfaction in thinking that I still care, that I'm pining away or that I miss her. NO ONE is going to treat me that way and ever hear from me again. No way. Some days I do think about her... and I miss the sex! Well sorta, it wasn't that great. I miss her nice BMW!

 

I think you've heard me say on here that I hate that "fckn ^&)*&*(" !! So you have to make up your mind that you will no longer be looke at as a fool, feel foolish or let her think that you still care. Hold your head up and have some pride!!

 

Yeah, I'm not "into" other girls right now either. That's just part of the process. But I will make myself go out, hit on women and have sex even if I don't want to because I understand that it will help me get over it (I know many will disagree on here) and I'm not going to waste another six months of my life because I'm too "hurt" to get out there and move on.

 

So. Get angry with your ex. Move on. Go out and hook up with some hotties even if it takes you a couple of Vodka shots to get through it!! You were doing well man, get back on the wagon and get your life moving.

[oppath]

I'm not saying he should have sent the letter, only that it is no big deal. There is no sense saying "oh my god, I shouldn't have done that. How weak of me. I'll never do it again." Thoughts like that will set him back. Saying "so what. I sent a letter. If she feels bad about it or thinks I'm pathetic for it, that is her problem." is the rational frame of mind. What will set him back to square one is not sending it, but feeling regret over it. I'm willing to bet that when he wrote it and sent it he felt GREAT. Only when he started thinking "will she think bad of me for this?" did regret seep in. It's not a big deal. He will get over it.

 

I crossed the line more than he did with my ex and I've struggled with regretting it, but some of her friends have told me "based on the information you received and what went down, I would have done the same thing." One of them basically told me "serves her right." It's taken me a couple weeks to come to terms with sending my letter. I regretted it deeply. What was holding me back, however, was thinking to myself "oh why oh why did I do such a weak thing. Her friends will surely think I am psycho and pathetic. How undignified of me!" It was those thoughts, not the action itself, that sent me backwards. I've come to realize that while I didn't act "ideally", I did as well as I could under the circumstances. So what. Big deal. I can live with it.

[NorCalDave]

Yeah, now that I think about it, I did what I needed to do.

Who cares how she takes the letter. I needed to get that stuff off my chest. I needed her to know that her actions and lies are hurtful and it's not okay.

She needs to be held accountable for her actions, and I needed to vent a little.

As long as I stay away now, I think it's okay to do what I did.

[oppath]

That's a better attitude to have. She's not going to be part of your life, right? Who cares. I would learn from this experience, so that next time you don't sent such a letter, but it is NOT a big deal. One thing though is you don't "need" her to know anything. You want her to know. And you probably want a response (an apology) from her!! You want an "I'm sorry. You're a great guy and don't deserve this" validation. You are not going to get it. This is the reason not to send a letter. You won't get the answer you want!

[NorCalDave]

I hate this. Why do I wake up every morning still yearning to be with her and see her? The sun is shining through the clouds, and I can't enjoy it because I am wishing that I could be seeing the sun reflect off her eyes.

I know that sounds corny, and I know I sound pathetic, but I just feel robbed and I'm kinda getting pissed. I did nothing wrong, I didn't cheat, I didn't lie, I didn't even look at other women when we were out. I constantly gave and gave, everything I had to offer, and now I am the one with the broken heart and missing her and suffering. And she's just going on with her life, seeing me at the gym, ignoring me, not calling me, seeing her ex, just having a great ole' time. I feel like I'm being punished but I didn't do anything wrong.

I'm "too young", that's all I remember her telling me. Since when is a man in the prime of his life, at 28 1/2, too young for a serious relationship?

Even her friends agree with me. I was at the gym last night and one of her friends approached me and we chatted for like an hour and she was totally on my side. She thinks she's crazy for not wanting to be with me. Just like her co-worker said too. Why can everyone else see what a good catch I am but her? Why can't she just try to get over her insecurities? She's not going to find anyone better. We've already gotten back together twice because she went out and tried to find an older, more compatible guy, and when she realized there isn't too much quality out there, she came back to me, for 5 months, until the insecurities ate away at her again, and here we are again, and I'm hurting again.

Why do we have to completely abstain from each other like we have the plague just because she's insecure with our age gap? Why can't she trust that I'd take such good care of her?

Her friends and co-workers see it my way, they can't believe she'd walk away.

I'm still in shock. Sorry.

[oppath]

Reframe your thoughts. Let's see it your way. You deserve a stable, attractive, independent woman who loves you for who you are and cherishes being with you. Was she crazy to give you up? Yes. And it has NOTHING to do with you. It is HER! She's the one with problems.

 

I know how tough this is. I feel the same way about my ex, to a lessor extent, after 7 weeks. I don't want her back. I regret sending letters and losing my dignity just as you did. But so what. I was hurt. Received further hurtful information (just like you did) and I expressed my anger. Big deal. I said and did some things that weren't perfect and I'd rather not repeat in future relationships. I know that most of her friends, if they knew my story, would empathize with me for those actions. At least you have validation from her friends and coworkers that you are a great guy, so don't regret your recent action. If they hold you in high esteem they could care less about a few hurtful words thrown at her.

 

It takes time and the desire to work through the grieving process. Right now you are in an increbile amount of emotional pain. It will get better.

 

I'd suggest seeing a professional to help guide you through this. It's the only thing that keeps me strong.

[NorCalDave]

Okay, tell me if I'd be out of line for thinking this.

She works at a salon.

The receptionist at her salon has had a crush on me, and I know this because my ex told me. During the last few weeks of our relationship, my ex would make little comments like "You should go out with Kim, she likes you." And, "the girls at Macy's all like you, you should ask one of them out."

I'm thinking, why not take her up on the offer.

I had a wild idea to call the salon, and ask Kim out.

Kim is a hot younger girl, and every time I'd go visit Alicia in the salon, I'd catch Kim staring at me.

Should I ask Kim out?

It'd be nice to just date again, be with someone who likes me...AND, I wonder if it would drive my ex crazy! She said I always need to be with a younger girl, and she said I should ask Kim out.

Would I be out of line if I called the salon and asked Kim out?

Part of me wants to go out with her because she is a young hottie, and part of me wants to drive my ex crazy because she's driving me crazy.

I don't want to look like I'm playing games though.

 

Opinions? Thoughts?

[Davis]

I hate this. Why do I wake up every morning still yearning to be with her and see her? I just feel robbed and I'm kinda getting pissed. I did nothing wrong, I didn't cheat, I didn't lie, I didn't even look at other women when we were out. I constantly gave and gave, everything I had to offer, and now I am the one with the broken heart and missing her and suffering. And she's just going on with her life

 

It's all a normal part of the process Dave. It will get easier. I felt the exact way you did when my ex and I broke up. I did nothing wrong either. Makes your kind of angry, doesn't it? You asked me about how I was so "strong". I think once I made it past that stage of "why me / how come" I was just angry. People on here can say what they want about not being angry and how it's not productive and so on, but, I think it has helped me move on and has stopped me from contacting her. If I were you, I would be pissed.

 

Bro. You know from your previous posts on here that it's not going to work with her. Her drinking problems, her INABILITY to have an intimate, mature relationship, her age and so on. You need to try to stop beating yourself up with this talking to her friends and how she "doesn't get it" and why it should be working with the two of you. The fact is that your age difference is an insurmountable problem. You both know it, but you don't want to accept it.

 

No, you should not go out with her co-worker or the Macy's girls! You and I know damn well the only reason you're wanting to do that is to make her jealous and use it as an attempt to get her back. I still think you should go out with some hotties, just not ones that she associates with.

 

Why do you have to "abstain" from each other? For YOUR own good. Look how you've gone backwards since you wrote the letter and saw her at the gym. You were doing better after you saw her at church and realized SHE was not what you wanted and it was not going to work. Bro, you need to go back to total NC so you can start to heal again and move forward with your life. Sorry you're in the position you're in, but it will get better!

[NorCalDave]

I am not going to date any girls she works with.

That's childish.

I know I need to let go of the smidge of hope I do have for us.

I know the age gap seems insurmountable, and maybe it is, but I have been reading about lots of other couples making it work with larger age gaps than we have. I know it's possible, it just takes 2 people working at it.

She has tried with me twice now, and she has given up twice too.

From what she tells me and also what her friends tell me, the only thing stopping her from committing to me is fear. Fear that I will dump her for a younger woman, fear I will leave her, fear that she'll age will catch up with her, all this fear.

It's understandable, very much so. Why take a gamble when you don't have to. I know how she's feeling.

But I guess my hope is that she can conquer those fears and just be...with me.

Maybe I am in denial, maybe I am crazy, maybe she'll never come back.

Probably, but something in me doesn't want to let go.

I know it would be best to let go, otherwise I'll go insane.

I guess I am just hoping for a "happy ending" to this movie.

I guess her coming back to me before tells me that there's a chance it could happen again.

What I need to remember though, is she broke my heart not once but twice now. And love shouldn't be this hard.

This all completely SUCKS. Sometimes I wonder why God/fate put us together when something uncontrollable like an age gap would come between us.

It all sucks.

[Davis]

Ok Bro. Stop with the age issue and rationalizing how it can or will work. That includes getting her friends to support you in this idea. You need to get out of this mode. Age aside, here is why it is not going to work. She is an alcoholic. She is emotionally unable to have a meaningful, intimate relationship. She has not been married nor had kids for a reason; she's very dysfunctional. She has nothing to offer you accept her physical appearance (your words). She has broken up with you twice.

 

I have learned the hard way that it doesn't really matter why they broke up with you, they just did. The fact is that for you it has happened twice. It is not going to work nor was it meant to work between the two of you. Stop rationalzing her behavior that she is afraid. It doesn't matter. For all the reasons above, it will not work and you will be the one that is a train wreck and broken hearted IF you try to go there and it doesn't work.

 

You tell me why you can't let go. What are you really gaining? Is it because you'll have to face that you're really lonely regardless and unhappy with your life?

 

God/Fate put you together so you could learn that this is NOT the right woman for you and why she is not the right woman for you. So that means you need to learn that lesson from this situation and find a woman that is the complete and total match for you.

 

Sorry to be harsh with you but you need to get back on track. You need to get back to thinking that YOU left her because of her issues. Start moving forward bro and get yourself out of your emotional septic tank.

[Davis]

NorCal! Just a reminder about what you said about your ex previously:

 

Davis, the more time that passes the more I see what a "beautiful disaster" she was. The ex's ring on her right hand, the codependency, the lack of intimacy, never wanting to be touched, still contacting the ex behind my back, pushing me away, pulling me in, manipulating me... I've listed all the pro's and cons about her, and there are nothing but cons. she never wanted sex, for hormonal or past issues that scarred her, she can't have kids and I want them, she just used me because I was there and convenient, and she really isn't the type to bring home to mom, no matter how bad I wanted her to be. If she can't handle love or intimacy, or being touched, that's not my fault or problem!

 

She sounds like a really great catch, NorCal!! You better print this and tape it on your fridge!

[oppath]

Great post Davis. You must rationalize that you would not want to be with her. I know it's tough. You don't miss her, you miss how she made you feel. Where you are at right now sucks and it will take a long time to feel completely content and happy. Being rejected HURTS! Keep in mind the reasons YOU were not happy in the relationship. You will find love again. I know how hard it is to accept this after a break up, but you will love again. But first you must heal. You can do this in any number of ways, the best way usually doing fun things for yourself where you get to meet new people and are forced to think about something aside from your ex. Personally, I do things where I can meet women, because while I don't feel ready to date, it does feel good to flirt.

 

You don't want your ex, you want to feel loved and you want a steady activity partner to do the things you want to do. Do those things anyway.

[Davis]

Oppath. Right! Yes it hurts to be rejected no matter what the reason. My ex went out behind my back, cheated on me and is now with that guy. I have to remind myself that I didn't want to be with a girl that would lie, cheat on me (twice), be deceitful, be hurtful, have drinking issues, have emotional issues, have intimacy issues and have no morals. Hmmm, I'm having second thoughts now, she sounds like a great catch! Even if she came begging and pleading there is no way I would consider taking someone like her back. It is empowering to know that in a way I rejected her and made the decision to no longer contact her and move on with my life. If you turn the tables, your perception about your ex certainly changes. That is what I'm trying to explain to NorCal again.

[oppath]

And I don't want to be with a woman who wouldn't introduce me to her friends she made through her ex because she didn't want his feelings to be hurt knowing she moved on, who didn't tell me he tried to get her back when I called her on acting distant right before breaking up with me, who would hang out with me all day when she already knew she was going to break up with me, who would ASK FOR FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS 2 weeks after she dumped me (how ****ing mean can you get; that's over the line if you've been broken up for a year)!, and who can't acknowledge an apology from me when I did flip out when I learned about her ex.

 

Why would I want to be with a woman like that? I wouldn't. She's a weak person who avoids confrontation and she lacks integrity in moments of confrontation. It doesn't mean she is a bad person, she's a great woman, but it means she doesn't deserve me and the love I can offer.

 

Do I miss her? No. I miss the intimacy, emotional and physical, and how happy it made me. I miss having a close friend. I miss having someone to share my life with. I miss having a steady date, someone I know will accompany me to an activity I want to see. Those are the things I miss.

 

I am too hurt right now to open my heart to that intimacy, so I'm going to be my own partner, my own best friend right now. I'm going to be my own steady date, out of the house as often as possible, doing what I want to do and treating myself with the kindness and respect that I deserve.

[NorCalDave]

Good advice fellas.

You're both right on about everything, and it sounds like our ex's are very similar in their dysfunctions.

My ex has been sober for over 4 years now, but she still struggles with codependency with her ex. That seems to be how codependency arises...due to an addiction and the person being there for you. Once you stop the drinking, the addiction is simply transferred into the person who was there for you (her ex)...she has told me before that seeing him is like an addiction in itself, and thus, the codependency. So, she might be clean and sober, but she still needs to conquer her codependency with her ex. Them continuing to see each other over and over tells me she is still struggling with that, and therefore, is not healthy enough to be in a relationship with me, or anyone really.

Even if I was older, and she couldn't use the age gap as an excuse, I still think she would have serious difficulties with intimacy, and she would still be talking to her ex. I see this all now.

Actually, I am feeling empowered now, because of what happened last night.

I was at the gym, on the bike, actually having a deep thought about her, when out of nowhere she appears, and is whispering in my ear, "Okay, so we don't have to hate each other, okay?"

I am in shock at this point because I had seen her at the gym 3 days earlier and she ignored me.

This time, she was really flirty, saying I missed a great church on Sunday, and she wants me to burn a song for her, and overrall, very friendly.

We worked out separately, and at one point she asked me to help her with the equipment she was using, and I helped her, and started to walk away when she called me back to help her some more. I helped her adjust the equipment, and walked away, and that was that. I was looking tan, buff, and I felt very calm and confident. I wasn't following her around like a puppy dog like I used to. A couple times she walked right in front of me, with body language saying, "Look at me, look how hot I am"...I ignored her plea's for attention, and finished my workout.

It must have driven her crazy.

Don't worry Davis, I am not all hopeful again. It was just nice for my ego to get attention from her like that. It also felt good to have her whispering in my ear, and I felt like I was the one in control, not the one following her.

I will continue to do what I am doing, staying away, taking care of me, and being distant at the gym. This is healthy for me, and I know it will drive her crazy because I am not giving her attention.

After reading why we are not meant for each other, it is apparent that any hope I have is in vain. This woman is selfish, and loves attention, and is too dysfunctional for me to want to get involved again.

I am going to Tahoe to ski and party this weekend, and I will not be going to church.

I plan on treating myself to some fun, and meeting as many women as possible.

It's time for fun and f--- all this sadness. She doesn't deserve my tears.

[Davis]

Much better Bro! You had me worried this week and I was wondering when you were going to climb out of the toilet. See how a different perception changes your outlook?

 

Ha! My ex pulled that same BS after the first time we broke up. It had been about 7 weeks of NC and I saw her at the local hangout. Luckilly, I had friend that's a girl with me and my ex thought she was my gf. I ignored my ex and we left after a while. I never even looked at her when I walked out. Then I saw my ex the next day at the same place and I did a u-turn at the door when I saw her. Anyway, my ex texted me later and said "this doesn't have to be awkward". I replied with "huh?" and later "it wasn't awkward for me". It drove her crazy. She couldn't take the fact that I was ok and ignoring her!

 

Tom Lykis has a great saying on his radio program: "Women are attention whores!" !! Plus they're always out to make themselves feel better about dumping us and not feeling uncomfortable. It's about them, not us. Sound familiar NorCal!? So good for you Dave. IF you see her, DO NOT let her think you care, it matters or that you feel uncomfortable. PRESERVE YOUR DIGNITY!! I would have blown her off at the gym if I were you, but that's just me. Now don't fool yourself, I would still try to avoid your ex if I were you so you don't step back on that slippery slope again.

 

Regardless of where she is in her sobriety or her co-dependency, I have to agree with you that she is way too dysfunctional for you to get back together with her and that it would never work out. Keep that in mind. Good for you on going to Tahoe!! Meet up with some hotties, cut loose and have a blast!!

[NorCalDave]

Thanks Davis.

I feel good inside, and I will have a great time this weekend, but as you know, part of me still wants her back. I just have to keep reminding myself all the things we've talked about. It's HER, not me, and she is very dysfunctional. It's not my fault or problem that she can't accept love and be in a healthy, intimate relationship. It's not my fault! I tried and tried and if she can't see what a good catch I am, HER LOSS!

Honestly, her friends, her co-workers, my friends, my co-workers, all say the same thing: SHE'S MISSING OUT!!"

I almost feel sorry for her. Still co-dependent with her ex, unable to be with a great guy like me.

I can't help her be happy and healthy. She's got to do it herself.

This no contact thing really works, and especially being distant when I see her. I know it's driving her crazy.

Off for a great weekend in the snow. And another week of her wishing I went to church to be with her....'I wonder where Dave is? He's missed church 2 weeks in a row now?'

I can see her thinking that.

And then it's going to be 3 weeks, then 4 weeks, then, 'Holy Cow, has Dave forgotten about me?'

Such power by staying away.

It's awesome.

I always thought it'd be easier if I still got my "fix" from her, but actually, it's the exact opposite.

Good to know you're here for me Davis, and you're going through the same mess.

They are attention whores aren't they!??!

[Davis]

Such power by staying away. It's awesome. I always thought it'd be easier if I still got my "fix" from her, but actually, it's the exact opposite. Good to know you're here for me Davis, and you're going through the same mess.

 

Fck NorCal! Finally you're getting it again!! This is just why I didn't want you to "harmlessly" see her at chuch, at the gym and write that letter previously! Contact is not a good "fix" it's a bad trip for you all at your expense!! Of course you're going to have thoughts of missing her and wanting her back. That's normal. They pass and it gets easier and easier as long as you STAY AWAY and don't slip!! You're glad to know I'm "going through the same mess"?? Thanks, I think!! I swear if you don't hookup with some young, hot thing this weekend and come back with dates and a two day hangover, I'm sending the LS police to kick your @ss!

[NorCalDave]

Yeah I'm starting to get it.

But I still kinda fear myself...I have been so weak with her in the past, I wouldn't be surprised if I slipped and went to church in 2 months...just being honest. But for now, I am seeing it's better to just get on with my life as best as I can. I know I'll think about her, I just have to have mindpower. It's weird though, because I have all these voices telling me different things in my head.

Part of me wants to go NC to make her miss me.

Part of me wants to go NC in the hopes that it gets her back to me someday.

Part of me wants to go NC because it's simply easier.

Part of me wants to go NC because it will allow me to meet someone better.

Part of me wants to break the NC.

I am really trying to just do my best to get away from the situation.

Hence, this weekend trip.

I will make it my mission in life to hook up this weekend. If I don't get any #'s, I suck.

I'll let you know holmes.

[Davis]

Part of me wants to go NC to make her miss me.

Part of me wants to go NC in the hopes that it gets her back to me someday.

Part of me wants to go NC because it's simply easier.

Part of me wants to go NC because it will allow me to meet someone better.

Part of me wants to break the NC.

 

All normal thoughts NorCal. While some of those reasons aren't the best to continue NC, the important part is that you do continue because it will be less painful for you and it is the best path. Stick with it! Good luck this weekend!

 

PS. I saw my ex on the road yesterday. I haven't had any "sightings" of her in about a month. Argggh! That 745 BMW she has is so unmistakable in this area. I don't know how you could have been so nice to your ex at the gym. I would have flipped with rage. It crosses my mind that I wanted to swerve my truck into the side of her car or that if I see her in person that I want to punch her in the face (I know that's bad and immature and I wouldn't even do it) but it makes me pretty angry still. I just hate that &%#*)@(% whore. She fcked me over good without reason and without warning. What a c**nt!