magichands Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 well, i can only hope.... Be careful what you wish for, haha. Do you think its likely or unlikely he will actually end up calling? or have i read too much into it all.? Look... I know it's only natural for you to hope that he will come crawling back to you - if only to reinforce in your own mind that you are the catch, and he screwed up - but cultivating these thoughts is not going to help you recover. Best to try to not give it further consideration. He's a jerk, and life goes on. With any luck, that will mean finding someone who is worthy of your trust and devotion. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 He's a jerk, and life goes on. With any luck, that will mean finding someone who is worthy of your trust and devotion. yeah he IS a jerk. I suppose really at the heart of all this is just that i want an apology for the rotten way he ended this friendship and the grounds he used to end it. Just a recognition and admittance that he was a jerk. Because so far he's been sitting up there in his ivory tower imagining that he did the right thing "by everybody". I just want that ivory tower smashed to pieces. But no. Who cares he's a ****wit and thats all i need to know. Everybody I know thinks he's a gutless wonder. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 Exactly. The best revenge is indifference. I hope you get there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 Magic, here's your 5000 posts:) :) party here goes... (you walk in and trip over rug and land on floor on face) SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: :bunny: (its a surprise party- are you surprised??) Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted February 19, 2007 Share Posted February 19, 2007 (its a surprise party- are you surprised??) WOW. I hope you are naked, and you didn't invite anybody else. (That would explain my tripping over the rug. I have to say that it wasn't my face that hit the floor first.) Thank you so much!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted February 19, 2007 Author Share Posted February 19, 2007 It was actually very selfish of me to throw you the party because there are now less bunnies to go around, (there's another one used up) and therefore fellow loveshackers are now going to suffer. But at least we.... enjoyed.... ourselves...... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 I just feel like ringing him and telling him how STUPID i think this whole thing is. Also how stupid it is that he thinks he's going to be able to sit around a table at a birthday party and make stupid chit chat with me after everything thats happened . And that will be the first time we will have seen each other since this whole thing started 2 months ago. So, he said he'd be "interested in seeing how she is and how she's going" eh??? BUt a month ago said he never wanted to see me again and refused to even keep in casual contact occasionally. Wanted to be strangers. And now this. It makes me think he doesn't have a clue what he fckn wants. This is why i feel like calling him and telling him exactly how i feel. I thought I was feeling better. Particularly after hearing that he wasn't that excited that i was doing well after my friend talked me up to him on the phone. Would calling be a dumb idea. The whole thing (us not being friends) is just sooooo stupid and pointless. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 The whole thing (us not being friends) is just sooooo stupid and pointless. Is he a good friend? Really?? Most of the time?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted February 22, 2007 Author Share Posted February 22, 2007 I just keep thinking about what i could have done differently. Thing is, I also know from his phonecall to my friend last weekend that he is missing me but I know that he would be way to proud to call me. I seriously nearly called him last night. But I won't. Yes he was a good friend except for the end when he thought my behaviour was about him. So he abandoned me then. But i had been grieving all year. I haven't been pleasant to be around since april. But I think thats gone. The fact that we busted up just feels wrong. I wonder if he now feels the same. But I am too hurt by the way he ended our friendship to risk ringing up and finding out. But I still feel that something needs to be done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted February 25, 2007 Author Share Posted February 25, 2007 I would like to ring him because I feel that its unfinished and that I did not get to have my say in all of this. It was all based on misunderstanding - it was all over the phone - and now he thinks its ok for him to rock up to my friends dinner party thingo and have civil chit chat like nothing has happened. Like he has done nothing wrong. I can't tell you how much it is grating on me. It also makes me think that ne might have some regrets over ending our friendship seeing as though he is so eager to se how i am at this party. I feel like writing him a note saying something like If he is having regrets , please do something about it. I don't know. Someone help! Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Someone help! Only call him if you are prepared to forgive him without his apology. Otherwise, you should wait for your apology. Indefinitely. Stay strong. You can play with me if you need to kill some time... waiting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted February 25, 2007 Author Share Posted February 25, 2007 Only call him if you are prepared to forgive him without his apology. Otherwise, you should wait for your apology. Indefinitely. Stay strong. You can play with me if you need to kill some time... waiting. Oh I knew I could count on you magic! i just feel on my part there is soo much left unsaid. He has absolutely no idea about what my emotional state is. To the people we have in common i have put on this huge happiness act to, because i don't want him getting wind of how I really am. And also my friend the other day- talking me up to him. He has no idea. But really most of the time I'm ok. The weekends are the killer because we would do stuff together. So I'm reminded of him more on the weekends. I seriously want to write him a note because i don't think my nerves could take ringing him. these are the things I want to say. can you tell me if this is dorky. OK 1. If he misses me i don't want his pride to stop him contacting me. actually maybe thats all i want to say. I just have a gut feeling (from my friends conversation with him last weekend) that he misses me and might be regretting it. The reason i think he might not do anything about it is because after he broke off our friendship i left a message saying that I thought it was the right decision. So what if he thinks I still think that??? I just miss him so much its awful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted February 25, 2007 Author Share Posted February 25, 2007 Only call him if you are prepared to forgive him without his apology. Otherwise, you should wait for your apology. Indefinitely. the thing is , that i also have plenty of things to apologise for and that is why this ongoing silence is hard. If he is willing to be nice to me at a social gathering then surely he would talk to me over the phone??? But no, you're right. i deserve an apology for being disposed of so coldly. I think I'll be waiting forever. I'm sure he thinks he's done nothing wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 I think I understand how you feel. It is awful. Let's assume he is not contacting you because of his "pride." You call him. He says he is sorry, and that you should go back to the way it was between you. The question is: can you trust him? He could just as easily break your heart all over again. If there is any hope for your relationship, then I believe that he has to come back to you. As simple as that. Ultimately, we all do what we have to do. I just want you to be happy. I'm such a sweet elephant. I think you are best off trying to forget about him - as hard as that is. Try to move on with your life - as impossible as that sounds. Freeing up your heart will eventually pay dividends, I promise you. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 I'm sure he thinks he's done nothing wrong. This is the thing. Call him, and you risk jumping back into a frying pan of hurt. If you can't bear to go on without apologising, then do it. Maybe you could wait for a better opportunity - like this party, say? If you want to express exactly what he means to you, then... well, sometimes that is the only way to clear the path ahead. I really hope he doesn't hurt you again, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted February 25, 2007 Author Share Posted February 25, 2007 The impression he has of me at the moment I think is that I seem to be moving on, am working very hard, am successful at some things i want to achieve, rave reviews all round (yes, she really did talk me up). So if he thinks I've moved on and broke up our friendship "because it was best for me" then why would he come back? Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 So if he thinks I've moved on and broke up our friendship "because it was best for me" then why would he come back? Because he doesn't want to live the rest of his life wondering. If one is desperate enough, then pride means nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted February 25, 2007 Author Share Posted February 25, 2007 Call him, and you risk jumping back into a frying pan of hurt. Oh, I LOVE that!!! Thats sublime. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted February 25, 2007 Author Share Posted February 25, 2007 If one is desperate enough, then pride means nothing. yeah , you're right - something I read here on LS was saying that it has to be all the other persons idea. They have to talk themselves into reaching out to you. Because they can't argue with themselves. So me ringing and going blah blah blah is not going to convince him we made a mistake. I just have to wait don't I ? (and i don't mean by the phone). I think he'll end up chickening out about the party. I don't even know if he'll actually invite him.( i mean she told him about it but she doesn't know where it will be so he hasn't been formally invited) He said to her - 'well if you don't want to invite me I'll completely understand'. hmmm Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 My friend asked me if i wanted her to invite him to her bday dinner. I rang him and left a message for him to call me back. If he hasn't got the balls to call me back and speak to me on the phone , then i don't know how he thinks its going to be ok just rocking up to dinner and looking at each other in the eye and make chit chat. I thought it might ease up the tension at dinner if we could talk on the phone first. So if he doesn't call I'm going to tell her no. I've got enough stress in my life without worrying about seeing him. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I've got enough stress in my life without worrying about seeing him. You poor thing. I think I know what might help. Why don't you lie back, and let me take you to your happy place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted March 3, 2007 Author Share Posted March 3, 2007 thanks for your constructive comment. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 I think you seem to have everything under control. Has he returned your message, yet? For future reference, I would make that sucker crawl back to you if he wants some attention. I think you made it a little too easy for him to go back into "smug" mode. It is very well-meaning of your friend to ask you these things about her birthday guest list, but next time maybe you can tell her that it is her birthday, and her choices. I think it's best that you try to cultivate a feeling of indifference when it comes to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kimba Posted March 4, 2007 Author Share Posted March 4, 2007 No, he hasn't returned my call but my bday friend has tried to call him as well and the phone is always off the hook and has been for days so he's probably gone away. Yeah , indifference. I didn't really consider the implications before i rang. I was more thinking that if he can't talk to me over the phone then he won't be able to in person. Really, I think I hate him for everything he has done. We don't think he will turn up to the bday purely because he is a gutless wonder. He just makes me so mad with his smugness. If he is going and I decide not to i have an invitation to go to surfers to see my friend for the night. relax on the beach. If I can't face going. I'll be the gutless wonder then. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 Really, I think I hate him for everything he has done. Well, when you hate, it is obvious that you still care. A lot. The question is: is he worth it? Link to post Share on other sites
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