A complicated happy story??

[Southcoast324]

Hi all, im very new at this and have seen the support you have all given and wondered what you all thought of my situation and suggestions on what I should do.

Sorry, it’s a long one. There are a lot of brackets to give you an idea how strange this all is.

 

Well where do I begin?

 

been seeing my girlfriend for nearly 4 years now, we met on a sports team. (The sport is heavily male dominated which will become clearer later)

 

]The first 2 years of the relation ship, when I started uni, were amazing. After that we were very rocky, partly down to me not trusting her (Ive been cheated on in the past and was always very weary when she spoke to other men) We broke up a few times, for a few different reasons but always ended up getting back together, each time we got back together it seemed better then before. During that time there were some hard facts she put to me, saying she never wanted to live with me, and remaining close friends with her exs (Who was also on the same team, used to be very hard between us but now we are good friends) (She had lived with her two exs in the past, one for 2 years and the other for a year and a half, I was her third long time boyfriend) She said that she had made the living mistake twice in the past and wanted to make sure she knew what she was doing this time, didn’t want to ruin it. Etc.

The most recent time we broke up (3rd time 6-7 months ago) was I was very weary of a friend of hers that was at work with her… more of that later. (She had a new job as a sales person for the sport that we initially met at, remember that there are hardly any girls in this sport). I helped her get the job. Her position means she has to go to all the international events, so is away from home a lot. In the past she told me that her career and getting good at this sport (we are still on the same team, and train every other weekend.) Anyway…… for this job she moved away from where I lived while I was at uni. (70 miles away) and got her own place owned by the company. This was about a year ago and the friction of her working away has been very hard. In the past she told me she didn’t want me ever going up to her house..(make note of all the ‘in the pasts;)….. anyway…. Remember that guy I said was one of the reasons we broke up recently….. well…. After I saw her fairly recently 7 months ago odd… we had a brilliant time… then when she got back to work, she told me she had been with him recently… she regretted it and had never been so sorry, felt sick, cried all night etc etc….. so naturally I said f***her and got on with my own life. Since then her parents talked to me a lot (I worked for them in a part time job and they are very close friends of mine) they told me she still loved me and wish she had never made that mistake, words like ‘ why does it take something like this to make me realise I love him’ etc etc …. Now…. It took me a long time but I finally decided to give it another go… I thought things like ‘at least she told me’ and ‘she says it’s a one off and she regrets it’ etc…. I said we would get back together on the condition that she never spent social time with this guy again ‘ remember they work together’ and to my amazement (due to all the things she said in the past) she agreed and said she would do anything to get me back… that was great…. Now… some time has passed and she has included this guy in her social circles again…. I keep bringing up how I feel and she says ‘we don’t talk about it anymore ‘ etc. (so I think, ok cool, it was obviously some tension or the drink etc… she has grown up and moved on).

Now recently recently as in the past couple of months. I graduated and managed to secure a job that I needed my degree for, this is something I have always wanted.. thing is… I have moved to a new place (180 miles away). In this time… her affection for me seems to of tripled. All the things she said would never happen we are talking about (her moving in with me, marriage, children etc) She has even talked about packing her job in and coming and living with me… now.. I never expected thos and couldn’t be happier… but alarm bells are ringing which is why I would really like some outsider advice and thoughts on it all.

Im worried that I wont ever be able to forgive her for the cheating, even though it was a while ago and things have been great since then, but I genuinely love her and want to be with her… My feelings are so strong that I had to go to a therapist because I was having hallucinations brought on by stress worrying about her and her cheating on me (this was before she actually did cheat on me)

 

So please, advice, and questions

 

There is always loads more but I don’t wanna bore anyone.

 

Thankyou

[Southcoast324]

I know its a strange one, but im really struggling with what I should do, Ive been thinking about it all weekend and would really really appriciate some advice / thoughts please