newlywed25 Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 I recently just got married to a man Ive been with for four years. We have had a very bumpy road, but got through everything and are so much in love. Now being the wife - I find myself to be the butt of all jokes. People at work say to him "too bad you are married now" and "you know you still want so and so, but at least your wife still gives you some (sex)." Or he tells women commenting on his spontinaety "You should of seen me when I was single". I know he cant control what others say but what bothers me is I dont see him defending me. Am I being crazy or do I have a right to say something to him? I a just having trouble dealing with these comments. Thank you for your help Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 If you don't tell him what bothers you, he'll never know. What he has been saying is very obviously insensitive and inconsiderate but you had to know he was like that if you were with him for four years, unless you were under anesthesia. If after you advise him that he is to cease this type of verbage and show some respect he continues, let him know divorce is a seven letter word and that you can easily make it into a verb!!! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 5, 2002 Share Posted November 5, 2002 this reminds me of a commerical on TV -- can't remember if it's for rootbeer or what, but there are a series of shots of a guy saying and doing really stupid stuff, which aren't very nice to his wife. Sounds like your husband -- doesn't mean to be insensitive, but just is. Talk to him about how it makes you feel when he blurts out things like "you should have seen me when I was single," then develop a thicker skin because change won't happen overnight. When someone really cares about a person, they will try harder to not do those hurtful kinds of things though it may take a little time for him to get into the habit of being more respectful. If that doesn't work, tell him to his face that he's being a jackass and you don't appreciate it. He'll probably catch pretty quickly after that. Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted November 6, 2002 Share Posted November 6, 2002 Contrary to popular belief of those never before married...Marriage is HARD!!! This is your first stubling block. How you two handle this, will determine how you will handle other things...including the biggies. Make it a practice NOW to communicate, and talk things out. Its good that you are voicing your concern...but unless you do it to him, it will never change. Ignoring problems and hoping they are "phases" are the most toxic things in a relationship. DONT BE AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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