my boyfriends was with someone for 7 years while making a family with me

[ajolie1982]

my boyfriend was with someone for 7years while making a family with me

i found out two days ago that my boyfriend of two years has lived a double life. he has been in a long term relationship with a girl for 7 years and living with her for 3 years while making a family with me. when i met him i had a one year old daughter and a single mother. he took on the role of being her dad and she began to call him "daddy" with out me even asking him. we were trying to have a baby together and have a family getting married and buying a house while the whole time he was with her. going home to what i thought was his dad but really her every night. they both say the girl(which called me to let me know) and him say they havent had sex for 2 years and that she knew about me! And my daughter! he now tells me that he wanted it to come out but could bring him self to tell me and that he still want to make this work. as much as i try i cant hate him and believe ive tried but i cant. he doesnt blame anyone but himself and doesnt expect me to forgive him or that i owe him anything. but i dont know what to do he still is the only dad my daughter knows and he still he want to be her dad . i dont know how to feel . im just num cant feel anything. i dont know what to do cause i still have love for him and ... i cant think straight! i dont know what to tell my daughter our daughter

[norajane]

And exactly what kind of father/role model is this bf of yours? A liar, a cheater? What kind of mother/role model will you be if you stay with a liar an cheater? Do you want to teach your daughter it's ok to allow a man to treat her that way? To hang onto someone who doesn't know how to be honest and honorable?

 

Your daughter is 3. She will barely remember him if he gets out of her life now. Don't stay with him for her sake - get rid of him for her sake! You don't have to tell her anything. Tell her he had to go away. Period.

[alextop30]

Ok here I just came out of a cituation like that with my parents. I was the kid that your daughter is. All you have to see is how you feel. You dont have to hate him I am not saying that - I am saying something of the lines "I am hurt and I dont believe I can forgive you and I believe that I can let you be my true boy friend or husbant" if you say that - Just kick him out or Leave with your girl - it might be tough now but think if that happens again and your child is bigger somewhere in her 10 - 13. I am not saying again just leave him, find out in yourself how you feel and if you cannot forgive him - just leave, My parents never did that even though my mom felt worse every day and she had two kids and suddenly there was no way to move out because she could not support her kids. I suggest dont put your feelings in the bag and barrie it in the back yard. Think of what it is you feel and if there is NO FORGIVENESS do it. First day you will feel like crap but than eventually you will see that you did the right thing so do what you believe is right.