Why is he turning this all around?

[Guest]

I went to a party with bf,there was a woman there he has told me in the past he slept with.I sat with him,he showed me no attention in front of her.I tried to kiss him and he said loudly that no one else was doing that there.

 

I walked out after thinking he was trying to keep this girl happy.Anyhow,long story so I will make this shorter.We slept in seperate rooms that night and we had to drive the long trip home yesterday.We ended up in a huge fight and he told me he never slept with this girl at all that I was just insecure and im starting things with him all the time and he has had enough.He also told me he was losing feelings for me...what the hell does this mean?that he has fallen out of love?He cheated on me some time back and I have had a hard time with this yet he can go do these things to me and expect no reaction from me.

 

I talked to his sister today that told me that he definately DID sleep with this other woman....her husband was at the party!so why is he now saying he didn't and that he only told me that to shut me up because I was pushing for it that day.I had a feeling someone was not right and he shows me attention in front of my family and friends yet cannot in front of his own?He talked about the "if you love someone set them free" thing...I believe he is looking for excuses to get out.Honestly...this afternoon he will be home from work,I don't know how to react anymore.Last night he wanted me to cuddle up with him on the couch.

 

Does he love me?he told his friend he did but actions speak louder then words and why not show me attention at his friends party yet do it here?It's all confusing...I am very hurt and vulnerable right now and have felt him pulling away from me this last week.Should I just confront him and tell him if he wants to go to go?.I cannot live like this anymore

[Guest]

a follow up to the weekends events.Things seemed to be going back to normal with him showing me the usual affection and talking to me about getting a new house etc until last night he gets off the phone to his ex wife that is having trouble with his son telling me (knowing I work Saturdays mornings) that he will be driving down to see her and her husband about the boy.

 

Now for the last two weeks he has been wanting to get away on his own for some reason,I feel there is more to this then meets the eye.He cheated on me once,he is still in the stages of rebuilding that trust so for me to let him go away on a long trip for a weekend?come on.He thinks it's a tests,I think he has something up his sleeve,possibly another woman to fall back on.

 

After finding out he lied to me and put the blame of Saturday nights event on me I hear this one at the party text messages his sister all the time talking about the night they were together.Now why would he tell me he did sleep with her then say he didn't?

 

I confronted him after him saying to me I can get a rest this weekend,Itold him I wanted to go.He said to me he didn't want me sitting in the car while he is talking to his ex wife and her husband about the boy.I don't see why I cannot be included when he does live with me!If the decision arose where we would have to take him for some time I am sure I would have to be included right?so why not now?.I asked him why he lied to me about this other woman,that I felt now my gut feeling Saturday night was right,that he did not show me attention because she was there.For Gods sake so was her husband!.

 

I have told him he needs to admit he is in the wrong,that he needs to take responsibilty for his actions.He said why should I have to want to go everywhere with him?I told him,because it's never been a problem in the past,that you have always wanted me by your side.He is determined to go on his own yet tells me he loves me and wants to be with me.

 

I honestly am starting to think otherwise,his actions are saying this.

I am going to give him the ultimatum,if he goes after lying to me about that girl because I won't know if he is lying again about this weekend...then we are through.I am at the end of my tether,he can see nothing wrong with wanting to go on this trip on his own and cannot see why I should be involved.

 

It was OK for me to take care of his son for a week recently while he was working.It's all too strange for me,he would always want my help and to go with him yet now it's different,why?

[mrmaximum]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Well, this is my two cents and I hope this will take you some sort of way to a solution. You said that he cheated on you and is in fact at this point trying to rebuild trust, well then the situation is this; His behavior is unacceptable and the fact that he lied to you about his past is inexcusable. He started treating you like a third wheel for no other reason that he wanted to keep his options open with this other woman. This sort of thing by itself is not cool in the slightest, but on top of the fact that there is some infidelity in the past!! NOT COOL!!! When you have something that you care about, (a relationship for example) you will do what you will to protect it, yeah? If you are going to engage in things that may be construed as a little shady, (have a friendly talk with an ex) then the moral person will do what they can to show that everything is on the up and up. Tell you the truth; let you know anything that happens as soon as it does, yadda, yadda. This guy has shown you that you wants and needs come second to his and that you can’t trust him. This is my recommendation, dump him, you don’t want to be chained to a guy who you can’t trust!! Think about it, he is still trying to show you that he can be trusted and then he pulls this stuff. Not good, he will dump you as soon as he gets the woman he wants, IMO. I say don’t let him have that chance, you deserve more than that!![/sIZE][/FONT]

[Guest]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]he will dump you as soon as he gets the woman he wants, IMO. I say don’t let him have that chance, you deserve more than that!![/sIZE][/FONT]

 

I agree!He will find someone else which is probably what he is wanting to do this weekend.Go and set someone else up so he can have someone to fall back on.He will move on and do the same again.I am now believing he is a predator of women.I spoke to both his ex's,the ones who have had his children and found out so much more to all of this.He has been a serial cheater!He has cheated and hidden the fact so many times to both of them and that's not even mentioning the other women he has lived with.

His day will come.