How do you know you're compatible?

[kittensmittens]

Is it something that just defies logic and is just "there" or it isn't? Regardless of how many interests, preferences, etc. you have or don't have in common?

 

Or is absolutely necessary that you have strong mutual interests? Or maybe not interests, but maybe similar personalities?

 

This is something I have been struggling with in my relationship lately and I would really like to know how you all feel on this. Do you feel you and your SO are compatible or incompatible.....why or why not?

 

My bf and I do have different interests that overlap only slightly, which causes friction for us, but I have seen other couples with different interests who get along effortlessly. Sometimes it seems like some kind of epic struggle for us to understand where the other is coming from and other times I feel as though no one understands me the way he does. Some things he does (or doesn't do) drive me absolutely crazy and then there are other things he does that I can't imagine ever living without if I were with someone else. I'm at a low point right now and I guess I'm just trying to determine if the cons outweigh the pros.....or if the cons are only cons because we make them so.

 

What IS compatibility....is it simply "chemistry" or is it more specific than that?

[Island Girl]

My husband and I are compatible because in some ways we compliment each other - when I get "hot" that is angry, he immediately is completely calm , as he says "he brings the water" so there can be a discussion to resolution.

 

When he is "hot" (a handful of times in six years) I automatically become the calm one. It is weird, it just happens, which has never been my normal behavior.

 

He is easily pleased whereas I am not. I am not a tremendous giver but am in extremely giving in the ways that he needs to be happy.

 

I am more high maintenance and he takes care of me in all of those ways so my needs are met and I am happy.

 

We also mirror each other in ways that would be viewed as problems for some people. For instance we are both jealous in the same way so we understand the triggers and do not go there out of knowing how that feels.

 

We are both really outgoing and home bodies at the same time.

 

Those are just a few examples. I could go on and on...

 

He's perfect for me. Absolutely perfect. That is why I married him.

[scubafish]

I have done a bit of reading lately, on relationships, trying to figure out a few things. I am sure every situation is different, but it appears that chemistry is a great start, but if your 'core values' do not match, or there are other personality traits that terribly annoy you, it will eat away at the love.

as for the mutual interests, that does not seem as important, unless one has an interest that the other hates. such as one like hunting, and the other cannot stand the idea of hunting. it is good to have separate interests, as long as you do things together as well.