Wife having affair with brother since the marriage

[i_hate_my_wife_now]

I was really shocked/disturbed after came to know that, My wife is having an affair with my younger brother since my

marriage. I got married in June 2002 and came back to US after enjoying 3 weeks. She stayed for 6 months in my house with my

Mom, younger brother and came to San Jose,USA Jan-03.

 

My brother also came to US and got a job in LA. After 6 months he used

to come to my place every month, stay 3-4 days and go back to his place. For 1-2 days they both stay at home and I go to

work. After 6 months he got a job and moved to my place but living close to my apartment. 4 months back we had a baby and my

wife and kid went to india 4 weeks ago.

 

After she went, I know her chatting password and saw chatting conversation, she had

an affair with bro since the marriage. They have not used any protection and discussed about pregency and test results in

their chatting.

 

I have requested Phone Company for the incoming/out-going call history and she called so many times to my bro.

Generally I work late in the evening and a lot of times she used to call to my office number asks about at what time I am

coming to home. And so many times, my bro was at my home when I was coming from work.

I have always in mind that relationship between Brother-Wife is like Mom-son.

 

I have never thought that they would cheat on me. my wife is now very happy with baby and enjoying now at their home.

I have been thinking about this every day since 3 weeks, almost drinking beers every day, sleeping for only 4 hours per day,

not concentrating my work at office. I have saved $100K in 5 years but I lost every thing in my personnel life.

 

Initially I cried for week, decide to suicide my self , after 1 week decide to divorce her....still thinking

What should I do now? Your valuable suggestion depends on my future life..

Any help is appreciated.

[whichwayisup]

First off, I suggest you go see a therapist to help you cope with what is going on. What you are going through is DOUBLE betrayal! Your wife and your own brother...Disguisting! I feel for you, and I know you're in pain. Please, whatever you do, DO NOT take matters into your own hands...IF you feel that down and out, call 911 or seek therapy asap. It can and will help you.

As painful as this is, it's not worth killing yourself over.

 

Cry, scream, vent. Post here too, many people can help you through this.

 

I can't tell you what to do, but in all honesty, I can't see what is left to save your marriage due to the fact she cheated on you from day one.

 

Keep posting and my thoughts are with you.

[norajane]

1. Get therapy to help yourself get over this.

 

2. Talk to a lawyer, tell him the whole story, find out your rights, and file for divorce immediately.

 

3. Tell your family and hers what is going on. Affairs thrive in secrecry. Let everyone know what they are doing.

 

4. Get a paternity test on the child. It sounds like it could be your brother's child and not yours. If that's true, you won't have to pay child support. Let your brother take care of his kid. You don't owe any of them anything.

 

5. Stay in therapy until you feel better.

 

6. Remember that not all women are like this. Nor are all brothers. You just got very, very unlucky.

[Sup]

DO NOT KILL YOURSELF! Do what these people are telling you, you DON'T have to support this child by ANY means. Get a GOOD Divorce Lawyer! And TELL YOUR FAMILY! and HERS!

[directx]

Dont kill yourself.

First, secure all the proof you have uncovered and get it organized.

Second, get therapy. Leave her out of it.

Third, secure your funds if you can.

Fourth, expose them all and move on.

[Dadaal]

Dont kill yourself.

First, secure all the proof you have uncovered and get it organized.

Second, get therapy. Leave her out of it.

Third, secure your funds if you can.

Fourth, expose them all and move on.

 

I don't think therapy is the best resort here because he's going to discuss his issue with somebody like him! I don't get why people are so attached to these fake ideas of " THERAPY.

I would suggest you to divorce your wife and confront this issue with your brother. Don't commit suicide, that is not an option, either. You are a man and face the world. If you're guys indians from asia - seek peace in your religion.

[directx]

Dadaal,

why is therapy a fake idea?

Ever been to therapy? And if so, what?

[reservoirdog1]

Frankly, they're both pieces of shyt. Your brother, for betraying his brother. Your "wife", not just for betraying you, but for doing it in the most familially destructive, damaging way possible.

 

I'm not trying to be funny when I quote this line from the movie Clerks -- it's an appropriate question to both of them. "What do you do for an encore? Anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?"

 

Get a DNA test immediately. Among the many despicable acts perpetrated against you by those two, your wife allowing you to become devoted to and fall in love with the baby while knowing that there's a reasonable chance you're not the bio father is one of the worst. At least if you find out now, while she's still very young, your possible decision based on a negative result will do relatively little emotional damage to the baby.

 

Honestly, I don't see a way out of this situation that ISN'T going to do huge damage to your family. Not much else I can say, dude, except that you have my complete sympathy.

 

If there's a hell, may they both burn in it.

[boshemia]

I am so sorry to hear your situation. Betrayal by someone you love is difficult, but from both sides I can't imagine the pain you feel. However suicide is a permanant sulution to a temporary problem.

 

I attempted and almost succeded in killing myself when I was 19, at the time I thought the pain would never pass and I just couldn't live another day with it. Here I am 15 years later and I look back and realize how much joy I almost missed. I almost missed my three children, discovering how much pleasure I get from writing, many many happy ocassions.

 

Don't even let your head lead you in that direction, you will be missing out on the best times of your life.

 

Please understand that what these two people have done to you wasn't about you at all, if she was selfish enough to do what she has done to you... she would have done it no matter what. It wasn't you she was thinking of, only herself. There is nothing wrong with you, and don't let her issues make you think there is.

 

My ex cheated on me numerous times, and it took a long time to get that part through my head. I wasn't the reason he cheated... neither are you. Yes, I am going to recommend therapy, it has made a major difference in my life. False or not, changing the way you think about things can make a world of difference...

 

I am truly sorry for your loss, keep posting here and don't let the thoughts of suicide linger... she really isn't worth it. I promise you this.

[Topper]

You may have a problem your in Calif that isa community property state You may have to split all your assets with your wife no matter who did what to whom. Better talk to a lawyer and hide any assets she does not know about.