Uncomfortable Babbling....

[georgejungle]

O.k. here's something else i have a problem with...

 

Why is it that when I find myself in uncomfortable

situations, i tend to babble about silly things? I'm

noticing this...

 

Like say for example when I took my wife over to

my parent's house and she's still a little shy or quiet

in front of my dad, But i said a stupid thing to break the ice

and I HATED myself for it after. Yesterday we were talking to

my dad at a small family gathering, just relaxing and she

seemed a little shy in front of him so after she had said

something i said: "Oh she's just sooo shy!" in a cute playful

teasing way then i hugged her.

 

But i realized That it wasn't nice. If she's uncomfortable

why would I make her feel MORE uncomfortable by bringing

the subject to Attention. I woulda hated it if someone did

that to me. Yet i did it to her. It was an accident

too. I just felt like it was an uncomfortable situation and

i felt like saying something to break the pressure so I said

that, the first thing that came to my mind.

 

BUT i always do that. Something stupid always flies out of

my mouth due to nervousness i'm noticing. I was a shy kid

sure, but i outgrew a lot of that long ago. But yet i still

have moments where i say something really stupid or i'll

act a lot more wackier than usual to cover up my nervousness

or to break the ice or whatever. It's like : When Nervous, Act

Silly

 

I wish that I could just CHILL OUT. Why i let things bother me

then babble about something stupid to cover it up, is beyond me.

I thought i was a lot more strong and mature than that but yesterday

kinda thru me for a loop. All night I've been thinking about it. I

apologized to my wife, but I still feel terrible about it.

I know it wasn't the worst thing i could have said to her, but

I know that it embarrassed her a lot and made her feel so small

and i respect her and love her a lot, so it kinda shocked me

that i embarrassed her.

 

I've always kinda disliked people that do what I do. So the

fact that i'm doing it, well, you understand what i'm saying.

 

I wish I could just RELAX and not let things bother me.

I just get that old anxious nervous feeling every now and

then and then something completly STUPID comes out of

my mouth.

[Trialbyfire]

I think it was kind of cute, just as long as you said it in a non-condescending fashion. Stop internalizing it. Ask her if it bothered her. If it did, apologize and try not to do it again.

[polywog]

I agree with Trialbyfire, I think it was cute, too. (BTW, tbf...Love your avatar and signature)

 

I tend to get all yacky to fill up space sometimes, too, around quiet people.

 

Here's something that one of my friends told me to do; I think it might be a Buddhist thing or something, and it's very useful:

 

Before you speak, ask yourself these 4 things:

 

Is it kind?

Is it true?

Is it necessary?

Is it the right time?

[Trialbyfire]

Thanks polywog.

 

Some good advice there.

 

I also will try to cover awkward silences with filler. It sometimes helps to make the quieter ones feel more comfortable so they can slowly come out of their shells. Yes, yes, I can also shut-up sometimes, lol.

 

Can't leave an opening like that on this site.

[luvtoto]

O.k. here's something else i have a problem with...

 

Why is it that when I find myself in uncomfortable

situations, i tend to babble about silly things? I'm

noticing this...

 

Like say for example when I took my wife over to

my parent's house and she's still a little shy or quiet

in front of my dad, But i said a stupid thing to break the ice

and I HATED myself for it after. Yesterday we were talking to

my dad at a small family gathering, just relaxing and she

seemed a little shy in front of him so after she had said

something i said: "Oh she's just sooo shy!" in a cute playful

teasing way then i hugged her.

 

But i realized That it wasn't nice. If she's uncomfortable

why would I make her feel MORE uncomfortable by bringing

the subject to Attention. I woulda hated it if someone did

that to me. Yet i did it to her. It was an accident

too. I just felt like it was an uncomfortable situation and

i felt like saying something to break the pressure so I said

that, the first thing that came to my mind.

 

BUT i always do that. Something stupid always flies out of

my mouth due to nervousness i'm noticing. I was a shy kid

sure, but i outgrew a lot of that long ago. But yet i still

have moments where i say something really stupid or i'll

act a lot more wackier than usual to cover up my nervousness

or to break the ice or whatever. It's like : When Nervous, Act

Silly

 

I wish that I could just CHILL OUT. Why i let things bother me

then babble about something stupid to cover it up, is beyond me.

I thought i was a lot more strong and mature than that but yesterday

kinda thru me for a loop. All night I've been thinking about it. I

apologized to my wife, but I still feel terrible about it.

I know it wasn't the worst thing i could have said to her, but

I know that it embarrassed her a lot and made her feel so small

and i respect her and love her a lot, so it kinda shocked me

that i embarrassed her.

 

I've always kinda disliked people that do what I do. So the

fact that i'm doing it, well, you understand what i'm saying.

 

I wish I could just RELAX and not let things bother me.

I just get that old anxious nervous feeling every now and

then and then something completly STUPID comes out of

my mouth.

Bottom line. You are being way too hard on yourself. You are NOT stupid!! Haha. Everyone has flaws. The secret, is to embrace yourself just as you are; every little quark and cranny.

 

It's our imperfections that make us beautiful.

 

Nothing annoys me more about a person, than to see them trying to be someone they are not.

 

Just be yourself! Babble away!~!~

 

By the way, when I get really nervous, I'll swear like a sailor. It's kinda cute. I rarely swear normally.

[edastro4life]

You're not the only one that does this, I do it when I'm talking to someone thats Quiet, and I've noticed that my Son does it as well. For me for some reason if it's just me and another person talking and they're kind of quiet i feel as if the conversation is a sinking ship and I'm trying to keep it afloat. But I'm trying to learn sometimes silence is just a good as a conversation.