She Is Pregnant

[Guest]

Hello all...

 

I've gotten myself into a predicament (as I am sure you can tell from the title). My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and have been in a long distance relationship for the last year. She is currently enrolled in a post-doctorate program at a well known university in the big city. I am a design engineer with a well known company 400 miles away, in a small town.

 

A few days ago, she informed me that she was pregnant. Even with the utmost in due diligence of the birth control pill for the last 12 years, we were struck by the 1% chance. Oops.

 

When my girlfriend began her program last year, one of the first things they said was "not to get pregnant".....and for a couple of reasons, the first being the time commitment, and second, the exposure to specific chemicals can harm the unborn fetus.

 

From a practical standpoint, she's in school and would have to quit halfway through a program that she's already worked so hard in....not to mention all the money spent. She is carrying several hundred thousand in student loans that aren't going away. I am working in a position, while drawing a very comfortable salary, won't be comfortable after we become parents and with loans sitting over our shoulders, especially if I have to re-locate to the big city where the cost of living is almost double.

 

She's asked for my input and I've said that I am here to support you with whatever decision you make (after all, it is HER body), however, things will not get easier from here on out and we will be taxing each one of us and our relationship before things cool off. I've also indicated that we are both at risk for some resentment down the road in few years due to some sacrifices one another has to make.

 

She is a candidate for a series of pills that will induce a miscarriage. With a scheduled appointment tomorrow to end all this, I am half tempted to stop her but the feeling in my gut says that we are making the right decision.

 

I ask for your sincere and non-judgmental responses. Please don’t bash me, yell at me or call me a deadbeat dad. I am a long way from that. I love my girlfriend and would marry her if we were to continue this pregnancy, but given the current state of our lives, I don’t believe we are ready to take this on.

 

I’ve been an emotional wreck this weekend and some input would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thank you all.

[dropdeadlegs]

It sounds like the appropriate decision has already been made and I would never bash you from choosing what is right for your circumstances. Whatever decision that may be.

 

If you were referring to Plan B as an option, I will tell you that I chose that option and it did not work for me, even though I was within the time frame allowable (72 hours.)

 

If it doesn't work, there are still more options. I wish you both the best.

[Sweetie2007]

Hello all...

 

I've gotten myself into a predicament (as I am sure you can tell from the title). My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and have been in a long distance relationship for the last year. She is currently enrolled in a post-doctorate program at a well known university in the big city. I am a design engineer with a well known company 400 miles away, in a small town.

 

A few days ago, she informed me that she was pregnant. Even with the utmost in due diligence of the birth control pill for the last 12 years, we were struck by the 1% chance. Oops.

 

When my girlfriend began her program last year, one of the first things they said was "not to get pregnant".....and for a couple of reasons, the first being the time commitment, and second, the exposure to specific chemicals can harm the unborn fetus.

 

From a practical standpoint, she's in school and would have to quit halfway through a program that she's already worked so hard in....not to mention all the money spent. She is carrying several hundred thousand in student loans that aren't going away. I am working in a position, while drawing a very comfortable salary, won't be comfortable after we become parents and with loans sitting over our shoulders, especially if I have to re-locate to the big city where the cost of living is almost double.

 

She's asked for my input and I've said that I am here to support you with whatever decision you make (after all, it is HER body), however, things will not get easier from here on out and we will be taxing each one of us and our relationship before things cool off. I've also indicated that we are both at risk for some resentment down the road in few years due to some sacrifices one another has to make.

 

She is a candidate for a series of pills that will induce a miscarriage. With a scheduled appointment tomorrow to end all this, I am half tempted to stop her but the feeling in my gut says that we are making the right decision.

 

I ask for your sincere and non-judgmental responses. Please don’t bash me, yell at me or call me a deadbeat dad. I am a long way from that. I love my girlfriend and would marry her if we were to continue this pregnancy, but given the current state of our lives, I don’t believe we are ready to take this on.

 

I’ve been an emotional wreck this weekend and some input would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thank you all.

 

It sounds to me like what you did was the only option. I mean, it was either risk the baby, and have her continue her studies, or her quit school, which wouldn't help any of you (her, you, or baby) in any way. So what you did is the only thing. Being a girl who is NOT for abortion, it sounds cruel in a way, but if it was early enough, then its still just cells anyway, not a living human-being, and that sounds more okay to me...at least in theory.

Are you sure it was your baby? That's the first thing my boyfriend asked when reading this over my shoulder...not a bad question, although it sounds like your relationship is pretty serious, and 400 miles isn't much, compared to what it could be...

 

Good luck with everything....

[Sassy]

I am sorry but I do not agree with what you all are wanting to do. When you lay down to have sex birth control or not you take the chance of getting pregnant. I understand if this wouldn't be best for you but instead of killing this baby with a pill why not let her have it and give it to someone that would want it. I miscarried in November and was 3mths pregnant due to the baby stop growing. From the time of conception it is a baby. Watch the learning channel and you will get a different perspective. It is a miracle to get pregnant so cherish the gift that God has given you. You never realise what a miracle it is till you lose it to a miscarriage. Making a baby has to be just right in order for it to continue and if it isn't the baby can't progress. It is like a puzzle you have to have all the pieces. Please rethink what you are going to do . This is a sore subject to me so sorry if you think I am being harsh.