Strong/Stubborn Ex immune to No-Contact?

[iwantherback]

Hey, any advice would be great:(

 

Me and my gilrfriend of 2.5 yrs broke up a couple of days ago. I heard and learnt about the No contact method (and yes, i know its suppose to be for SELF healing and all that.. but i WANT her back.) We're both 19, had a perfect relationship until the last couple of months.

 

To sum it all up, she had recently wanted to leave for the last couple of months. I have literally begged her to stay countless amounts of times. The only reason why she came back is because i kneeled and ask for her to, and each time i would make my self better for her. It wasnt enough, and she left. She left because she said she is tired of "me" and doesnt want "this" anymore, and she is unhappy with me. I am 100% there is no other guy(believe me.).

 

As for me, i would describe myself as the clingy, needy, and super-jealous and obsessive boyfriend. We almost talked everyday and i saw her pretty much everyday. I smothered her to the point where she just wanted to leave. Im just so devastated, coz i gave her everything.

 

Ive been in no-contact for 3 days now. Im dying inside. I havent contacted in ANY way. I know deep down inside that shes missing me. And i know shes trying her hardest to get over me.

 

But why hasent she called?? Shes really, really stubborn and never admits that shes wrong. I just want a second chance.. and i wanna know if other girls out there do the same thing to their guys.

 

Can she actually hold this up??? Or we she eventually break and call me...

 

Thnks in advance,pls help

Its eating me alive:(

[kimba]

You have to remember that each day you go NO CONTACT is more empowerment for yourself. 3 days is nothing and i KNOW how you must be feeling. You won't get a reaction out of her yet. Each day that you hold out will get you closer to her missing you.

 

You are going to have to really try and stay no contact for 2 weeks before she is going to go "hey, wheres all that attention i used to get" Everybody loves attention. I'm sure she will end up missing you. It might feel that everyday you go no contact takes you further and further away from her, but it works the exact opposite.

 

You also need no contact because you need to stop and look at how obsessive you were. No one likes that in a person. No contact is about healing yourself first and foremost. Use this time to look at your behaviour and realise that you don't need to be obsessive in order to keep someone in your life. You're only young. Just ease up a bit.

[CaliGuy]

Hey, any advice would be great:(

 

Me and my gilrfriend of 2.5 yrs broke up a couple of days ago. I heard and learnt about the No contact method (and yes, i know its suppose to be for SELF healing and all that.. but i WANT her back.) We're both 19, had a perfect relationship until the last couple of months.

 

To sum it all up, she had recently wanted to leave for the last couple of months. I have literally begged her to stay countless amounts of times. The only reason why she came back is because i kneeled and ask for her to, and each time i would make my self better for her. It wasnt enough, and she left. She left because she said she is tired of "me" and doesnt want "this" anymore, and she is unhappy with me. I am 100% there is no other guy(believe me.).

 

As for me, i would describe myself as the clingy, needy, and super-jealous and obsessive boyfriend. We almost talked everyday and i saw her pretty much everyday. I smothered her to the point where she just wanted to leave. Im just so devastated, coz i gave her everything.

 

Ive been in no-contact for 3 days now. Im dying inside. I havent contacted in ANY way. I know deep down inside that shes missing me. And i know shes trying her hardest to get over me.

 

But why hasent she called?? Shes really, really stubborn and never admits that shes wrong. I just want a second chance.. and i wanna know if other girls out there do the same thing to their guys.

 

Can she actually hold this up??? Or we she eventually break and call me...

 

Thnks in advance,pls help

Its eating me alive:(

 

She's not missing you. She's been trying to detach herself from you for months but you wouldn't let her. Finally she did what she felt was right and left you behind.

 

You are better off with NC and healing yourself. If she wants to reconcile, neither hell or high water will stop her from contacting you. But anything YOU do to initiate it will further cement her distance from you.

 

Go get a life, that doesn't include her. It's good for you.

[McFadden]

Same thing happened with my ex. I was jealous, too into him, basically just creeped him out to the point that he didn't want to see me at all. He wanted out but stayed in the relationship for a while because I begged, threatened, said I would change ect. Then he finally broke it off. For some time after that we were friends, but for the most part he was nonchalant and ignored me. Finally I went completely NC, and within 2 weeks he was back on the scene with a lot of enthusiasm. I don't think he wants to get back together, but definitely wondering where the attention went and probably missing it. If they think they have you as an optional backup there is no reason for them to contact you. The only way they will contact you is if they think you don't care, youre moving on. Then they are like "wait a minute." That is if your ex is anything like my ex (narcissistic, attention seeking control freak.) If not she probably made the right decision for herself (sounds harsh) and will not be contacting you again. Either way continuing NC is the only win-win situation. Don't break down! It will only re-affirm her opinion that you are needy, which is what drove her away in the first place. Don't even think about her all the time, just focus on other things. Either she will come back, or you will get over her- or both, and then you can tell her where to go.

[had3nuff]

I have literally begged her to stay countless amounts of times. The only reason why she came back is because i kneeled and ask for her to

 

Don't be a doormat. Women love men who have self confidence. Sounds like she's definitely uncertain about you. Yes, 2 plus years is enough time to reconsider where you're both going in life. You can't make her stay, talk her into it, or change her mind. It's something she has to figure out on her own.

 

As for me, i would describe myself as the clingy, needy, and super-jealous and obsessive boyfriend.

 

That statement right there would scare most people away. You need to be the strong, independent, and confident type. She needs to know that you'll be ok without her. Most women like to know that they have a man they can lean on in hard times. She doesn't feel that with you. It is suffercating her and making her look elsewhere.

 

Ive been in no-contact for 3 days now. Im dying inside. I havent contacted in ANY way

 

Good for you! I'm a firm believer in NC. I've been there, done that, and it works!

 

Take a few weeks off and concentrate on you. Then if you want to call her, do so, but do NOT be clingy, needy, and all those other traits you listed. Do not talk about the relationship, do not ask her how she feels since the breakup. Be happy, tell her things you've been doing well in your life, and welcome her to call you anytime she feels she needs to.

 

You've then open communication and the ball is in her court. No pressure.

 

In my opinion, she'll be back. It may take some time, but I think it's possible.

 

Good luck.

[Guest]

Another great post by Cali-guy which I agree with 100%. She's not missing you right now. If I were her I'd be relieved I had some space to breathe.

 

Use this time to work on why you are so clingy. Most girls at the beginning think it means "I love you" when all it means is you are insecure. Over time I bet she's reliazed just that.

 

Good luck

[iwantherback]

Hey, its now been 5 days of nothing but pain 24/7. Believe me when i say i did everything to forget her. I called friends, played pool, basketball, chilled and watched tv, even called my other ex's, played piano, worked out and EVERYTHING, and yet... she is amazingly still in my head.

 

Im trying hard, but for some stupid reason i want her back. And i really do. I know most of you will say that i should find another girl and have a life, blah blah blah... but if i want her back... what do i do to maximize my chances?

 

No-contact for 5 days, and no response from her. Can anyone tell me how shes feeling and WHYYY shes not calling?

 

Pls forgive me for my stupid questions, and for being like this... but my heart just cant take it.

 

Suggestions?

[CaliGuy]

If they think they have you as an optional backup there is no reason for them to contact you.

 

Exactly.

 

The only way they will contact you is if they think you don't care, youre moving on.

 

True, but also if they realize something in life is missing without you in it. But for them to get to that point you really do have to disappear from their lives for a good amount of time.

 

Either way continuing NC is the only win-win situation. Don't break down! It will only re-affirm her opinion that you are needy, which is what drove her away in the first place. Don't even think about her all the time, just focus on other things. Either she will come back, or you will get over her- or both, and then you can tell her where to go.

 

Good advice.