hiktykty Posted November 8, 2002 Share Posted November 8, 2002 hi. heres my story... i have been with j. for about 6 years we have a 3 yr ld child....j. is a professional athlete and travels somewhat. i have always trusted him and never felt the need to worry part of this security is due to the fact that he would tell me everything even about the time his hotel -mate brought two girls back to the room and one flung her panty only clad self on him...this disclosure reinforced my trust not to mention his everyday treatment of me~he's a great guy. anyway to get to my problem: About a year a ago j. tells me he is going to NYC (i can't remember the lame reason he gave me i just know i didn't buy it.) it was a little sketchy because he usually goes there early in the day not at 7 p.m. and not just out of the blue so i kept asking about his real reason for going...he finally folds and tells me agood friend is in town and he wants to go say hi well it is a 2 hour drive ~this must be a really good friend but why have i never heard of her before? on top of that he doesn't invite me to meet this good friend instead he takes along a friend of ours(mostly his boy) who was staying with us....he comes home several hours later and even though flags went up i gave him the benefit of the doubt... i forget about her (not another mention of this good friend hmmm) until i am looking through some of his fan mail....and come across an email with her name on it...curiosity got the better of me and i read it... it was a letter from her confirming the dates of an upcoming filming trip to miami and saying how shw got the time off work and was looking forward to a long weekend...in shock an not sure what to do i waited to see if learning from the problems of trying to hide info from me would he mention this to me.... i waited a day and nothing from him so i went back to see if the email was read...it was and forwarded to his private email account....i was so hurt and shocked and scared i said nothing....he left for his trip and needless to say iwas a stress ball...i was just paying very close attention to his daily phonecalls... well he noticed my odd behavior and i told him what i knew he was sincerely upset and explained that she had learned about the trip knew some of the other guys that were gonna be there and she really liked miami so she wanted to meet up with them. he thought that was too wierd and told her not to come...i believed him but still felt uncomfortable with the hiding and the questions that arose from the situation....but again i let it go...except for checking emails every now and then... then as months go buy he has a big trip planned with an extended stay in LA (her turf) i was really nervous about this trip but tried to keep jealousy and insecurity in check....finally just before he is to come home i get the courage to ask if he's seen her while he was there...he said no but he ran into her friend and he shared some stories she had told him....i was sooorelieved and thought that everything was behind us...until a month or so when we had some relationship troubles and his feelings were hurt and he tried to hurt mine by telling me he talked to the woman when he was last in LA the time he told me he hadn't seen her... it was discussed but with too many inconsistencies and changed versions.... still usure of what to do i dropped it but started to watch him for signs of trouble...i hapened to come across several calls from her over a coarse of time...and finally the keeping inside and dwelling on it got to me so we talked about everything... his explaination was plausible but too many illogical pieces to the puzzle ... the situation just doesn't add up i've tried to make sense of it and put it in a perspective i can live with....i have fought with him over the years about his jealous tendencies and fought about the fact that i have guy friends so i feel like a hypocrtite wanting him to end his friendship with her but i don't think i can ever be comfortable with it apologies for such a long post but i've even left out alot... please i need advice Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted November 8, 2002 Share Posted November 8, 2002 What are these relationship problems that are causing you two to hurt each other? Link to post Share on other sites
want24get Posted November 8, 2002 Share Posted November 8, 2002 Hi, I'm sorry to hear you going through something similar to what I went through a few years ago, you have to trust your gut, and face the truth, don't talk yourself out of believing the truth because ti would hurt too much- no one wants to find out their spouse is cheating, but if they are you deserve someone who will be true to you- remember, your instincts are usually right, and as much as you want to ignore this, if he is cheating, he will always cheat, and your life will never be free of this. Is this how you want to feel all of your life??????? Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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