Men don't need marriage!

[crazy_grl]

I honestly have had people tell me "it wouldn't be so sad if you had been married at one point even if you got divorced..."

 

That's so sad it's funny... or it is so funny it's sad...

 

I feel so bad for you, norajane. You must be so miserable being single. If only you could be happily divorced I'm sure your life would be so much better. How do you go on living without having been through a nasty (yet validating) divorce?

 

I soooooooo don't miss the midwest.

[norajane]

That's so sad it's funny... or it is so funny it's sad...

 

I feel so bad for you, norajane. You must be so miserable being single. If only you could be happily divorced I'm sure your life would be so much better. How do you go on living without having been through a nasty (yet validating) divorce?

 

I soooooooo don't miss the midwest.

 

I know, I know, I've make huge mistakes in my life...I just didn't have the good fortune to marry any of them.

[Woggle]

Men don't need a woman to help them grow up. I am so sick of this mentality that men are helpless babies who are lost without a woman to take care of them. I did just fine when I was single and I certainly don't look at my wife as a mother figure. I married her because she was the first woman I was with where it truly felt like we were equals. With my ex sometimes I felt like I was dealing with a little girl. As far as marriage goes a good marriage is a great thing but a bad marriage kills your soul. There is nothing worse than waking up next to a person everyday who you know is not in your corner. I know good marriages exist though and I am lucky enough to be in one but if I never met my wife I would have had no problem staying single.

[IpAncA]

Yes, I have a bf. Yes, I'm calling myself single here, because that is what everyone around me considers me - starting with the Chicago Title & Trust that labels me a spinster on my house purchase documents, to all the people that look at my diamond-less left hand and tsk tsk tsk me because poor, pathetic me has never been married.

 

I'm complaining because I moved back here only 6 months ago, so it's been glaringly apparent to me how women are viewed in the midwest if they aren't married - something I wasn't even conscious of in CA - and I am already sick and tired of the pitying looks and questions about whyyyyyyy I haven't been able to walk down the aisle and gain social legitimacy.

 

Welcome to the Midwest then.

 

Well yeah on paper your single but in social gatherings you could say "no, I have a bf."

 

But if your friends are like mine they would have to know more DETAILS about your bf and want to see a picture. Then if you refused to talk about him etc...we would probably wonder if you REALLY had one. Yeah I know that's bad.

 

But I would probably wonder myself because that's all people do around me. If your single and older then everyone has to know why and see if they can get that person hooked up. BUT if your with someone then people would probably try and get you to finally marry that person. At least we would know you had no problem getting someone.

 

To be honest before I came on here, if I knew someone that was single and older I would first think they either were divorced, with someone who can't committ or something is wrong with them.

 

It's very uncommon for me to see groups of older single men and women walking around without a SO. Just don't see it.

 

Since you have a bf, the only hassle I would see is "When you getting married?" Then after that it would be "pregnant yet?"

 

But I wouldn't let it bother you.

 

The worst I ever got was from my taxes lady. She asked me if I was married and I said no. She was SHOCKED! I felt so embarassed to say I was single and I was only in my early 20s. Then she went down the line and asked if I had a bf and then after I said no she asked if I planned on marrying at all.

[milvushina]

Before she embraced feminism she was not like that. She got involved with a women's group and became a monster.

 

Most feminists don't hate men. If your mom responded to feminism like that, she must have had underlying issues. Don't you think it's just as possible that had she had it been a church or a political group she got involved with, she would have become a religious or rights zealot?

Anything to extreme is bad...but some people are just hard wired to be incapable of moderation.

[Woggle]

Most feminists don't hate men. If your mom responded to feminism like that, she must have had underlying issues. Don't you think it's just as possible that had she had it been a church or a political group she got involved with, she would have become a religious or rights zealot?

Anything to extreme is bad...but some people are just hard wired to be incapable of moderation.

 

Most feminists according to your definition don't hate men but the movement degraded to an excuse to rage against the entire male gender. My mother is not the only women to have been trned into a monster by a feminist group. i fully support equality and a woman's right to self determination but I am against anything that is against me.

[Crazy Eddie]

Man, the midwest is weirder than I thought.

 

My wife doesn't wear her ring (it doesn't fit her anymore, and she got out of the habit when she had kids and worried about scratching them with it), and no one gives her any looks or grief or anything when she goes out and about. And this is in Texas.

[IpAncA]

Man, the midwest is weirder than I thought.

 

My wife doesn't wear her ring (it doesn't fit her anymore, and she got out of the habit when she had kids and worried about scratching them with it), and no one gives her any looks or grief or anything when she goes out and about. And this is in Texas.

You consider that werid, lol! I think it just depends on where you live.

 

If I didn't know her I would assume she wasn't married. Now that doesn't mean that I assume she wasn't with someone but I wouldn't think she was married.

[Crazy Eddie]

You consider that werid, lol! I think it just depends on where you live.

 

If I didn't know her I would assume she wasn't married. Now that doesn't mean that I assume she wasn't with someone but I wouldn't think she was married.

 

Right, but the people who assume she isn't married don't give her any pitying looks or other sorts of grief.

[LaughMachine]

Whats the deal with all these men in rediculous marriages. No man needs to be married for any reason whatsoever. Men can stay single and still do everything they want, including having kids. Why are all these guys suckered into marriage by some broad then they are unhappy for decades?

 

Unmarried men who have kids still have to pay for them so WTF is reason to marry the mother? A guy can keep his own pad (100% his own) and keep total autonomy over his assets and money if he's single. He can date whomever he wants and have multiple g/f. This is man's true nature. He can concentrate on his work/career/hobby, etc....all unencumbered by some female.

 

Just the thought of being stuck with one woman forever (including the afterlife) makes me totally sick.

 

 

Okay enough with the ego glory of I am "man here me roar". A man can certainly do those things and so can a woman. Not every man has that type of outlook on life and people get married because they love eachother and would like to start a family, eventually.

 

If a man can not fully commit him self to the " responsibilties " of being a husband than don't get married. A guy should get married if he wants and not if he feels at all the same way you do.

 

You act as if women has no rights to anything. Don't get married, don't have kids if you feel this way. Have multipe girlfriends and continue on being a man. The tradition wasn't made for all men to follow it is made for men who want the TRUE things in life.

 

No offense to guys but you have been made out to be so much more " powerful " than you are. Guys are known to be these wonderful manly creatures who have power over anything but that is gradually changing.

[Guest]

Most feminists according to your definition don't hate men but the movement degraded to an excuse to rage against the entire male gender. My mother is not the only women to have been trned into a monster by a feminist group. i fully support equality and a woman's right to self determination but I am against anything that is against me.

 

Maybe women don't like you because all you do is whine about women? So you think all women are out to get you? Maybe they have a reason not to like you as a person, nothing to do with your gender.

[luvtoto]

No offense to guys but you have been made out to be so much more " powerful " than you are. Guys are known to be these wonderful manly creatures who have power over anything but that is gradually changing.

Men don't have power when it comes to divorce. They get the shaft. The woman gets the house, the car, the kids along with child support payments. Sometimes, even alimony is ordered.

 

The man? Well, his destiny is determined by the mercy of the courts.

 

I think what Alpha is saying here is...he would rather be in control of his life than a court of law deciding it for him. The only way he is going to be put into that position is to be married in the first place.

[Moose]

Men don't have power when it comes to divorce. They get the shaft. The woman gets the house, the car, the kids along with child support payments. Sometimes, even alimony is ordered.

 

The man? Well, his destiny is determined by the mercy of the courts.

 

I think what Alpha is saying here is...he would rather be in control of his life than a court of law deciding it for him. The only way he is going to be put into that position is to be married in the first place.

I beg to differ. It depends souly on the situation.

 

It's my opinion that:

 

If the man isn't smart enought to cover his butt, (before and during the marriage), then he deserves to lose in court.

 

I don't mean by signing a prenup either. By keeping his nose clean, staying steady with his job and income, pays his bills, and staying faithful, no court would award the women more or less than the man.

 

The only time that would happen is in the case of infidelity or instability.....

 

That's just my opinion, I've seen my Mother and 2 sisters go through this routine MANY times.....

[luvtoto]

That's just my opinion, I've seen my Mother and 2 sisters go through this routine MANY times.....

I have many examples to back up my opinion, too.

[Moose]

I have many examples to back up my opinion, too.

Care to share? Out of your examples, just how straight and narrow where these men that lost their house and car, kids and are now paying child support?

[luvtoto]

Care to share? Out of your examples, just how straight and narrow where these men that lost their house and car, kids and are now paying child support?

Nope. Seems like whatever I would say wouldn't change your mind anyways. I don't have a strong need to be right all the time.

[Topper]

Moose, My very own divorce proves you wrong. Courts do favor the woman in most states. She is considered at an economic disadvantage. Courts will take her so called limited earning power into consideration.

[Moose]

Nope. Seems like whatever I would say wouldn't change your mind anyways. I don't have a strong need to be right all the time.

Then why the need to boast about your examples? If you're not going to back them up, why even mention them?

Moose, My very own divorce proves you wrong. Courts do favor the woman in most states. She is considered at an economic disadvantage. Courts will take her so called limited earning power into consideration.

Of course the courts do. That's why I stated that usually, (USUALLY), the man and woman would walk out on equal footing......both losers if you ask me.....

[Porn_Guy]

Courts do favor the woman in most states. .

well of course they do

[Gunny376]

90% of alll divorce petitions in the U.S. are filed by women ~ why? Because its to their economic benefit to get married ~ build asseets, get divorced ~ get married again ~ build asseets ~ get divorced. This isn't an absolute, and not always the case. But, its occurrs often enough. And, certainly there's the much over-used example about the single working mother raising 20 kids without a dime from the deadbeat dead.

 

In 90% of the divorce cases ~ women get custody. But, in the 10% of the cases where the men do get custody, they win 90% of the time, and 90% of the time the mothers are the deadbeats without paying a dime in child support let alone anything else.

 

In the few cases where men are awarded spousal support, (Joan Luden for example) the women are outraged.

 

I'll never marry again simply because the ROI (Retrurn on Investment) simply isn't there. Nor is the risk/return ratio. The majority of women out here are more of financial liability than they are an asset. The vast majority are only bringing themselves, sex, a car load of another man's chldren, a drawer full of credit card debt, and an $8.50 an hour job.

 

Too many women actually believe that they were born with everything they need to get through life with. Look at the internet personals, "52 year old women, secertarial/administrative. earns less than $25,000 a year ~ but to get with her you've got to earn not less than $100,000 a year, and you've got to be between the ages of 30 and 35! :lmao: :lmao:

 

Ture and everlasting love? :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

[alphamale]

90% of alll divorce petitions in the U.S. are filed by women ~ why? Because its to their economic benefit to get married ~ build asseets, get divorced ~ get married again ~ build asseets ~ get divorced. This isn't an absolute, and not always the case. But, its occurrs often enough. And, certainly there's the much over-used example about the single working mother raising 20 kids without a dime from the deadbeat dead.

 

In 90% of the divorce cases ~ women get custody. But, in the 10% of the cases where the men do get custody, they win 90% of the time, and 90% of the time the mothers are the deadbeats without paying a dime in child support let alone anything else.

excellent...excellent

[CynicalP]

My advice to both men and women is to avoid marriage. Our society is so Me centric and selfish that it takes too much work, compromise, and patient to overcome our natural selfish, self centered tendenacies. I agree with Gunny, the ROI is not worth it for men and I'm sure women believe the same. While we may be the same species, men and women are radically different. I definately admire and envy those couples who not only can tolerate the differences but overcome them to have meaningful relationships. It seems to be a rare occurence these days.

 

It seems to me back in the day, men were the selfish ones, and women were more or less selfless. Femmism came along and now women are equally selfish. This is why I believe why the institution is failing.

[Pyro]

Men don't have power when it comes to divorce. They get the shaft. The woman gets the house, the car, the kids along with child support payments. Sometimes, even alimony is ordered.

 

The man? Well, his destiny is determined by the mercy of the courts.

 

I think what Alpha is saying here is...he would rather be in control of his life than a court of law deciding it for him. The only way he is going to be put into that position is to be married in the first place.

 

Not true. When my parents split, my dad got custody of all us kids. I will say that women do most of the time get custody, but not all the time. It just depends on how good of parents that they were.

[CynicalP]

Not true. When my parents split, my dad got custody of all us kids. I will say that women do most of the time get custody, but not all the time. It just depends on how good of parents that they were.

 

Men with money and willing to spend a fortune have better odds of winning custody. However, this can be easily countered with allegations of verbal or phyiscal/sexual abuse which is a dishonest but successful tactic.

[Pyro]

Men with money and willing to spend a fortune have better odds of winning custody. However, this can be easily countered with allegations of verbal or phyiscal/sexual abuse which is a dishonest but successful tactic.

 

Both my parents were a couple of broke as$es, so this had nothing to do with money.

 

From what I understand, no allegations were involved. The judge asked each of us individually to describe our parents and who we would prefer living with.