Men don't need marriage!

[Woggle]

Usually if a man is willing to fight he can win in court. When I went through my divorce I was not about to lose everything I worked for just because my wife decided to cheat so I fought for my rights and won. Too many men try to be the nice guy and end up getting trampled over.

[Pyro]

Usually if a man is willing to fight he can win in court. When I went through my divorce I was not about to lose everything I worked for just because my wife decided to cheat so I fought for my rights and won. Too many men try to be the nice guy and end up getting trampled over.

 

So then whoever believes that marriage mainly benefits women are wrong according to this statement. The problem is that men who get screwed as a result of divorce only get screwed because they didn't stand up for themselves during court. Is that what you are saying?

[CynicalP]

I really don't blame the women, I put more of the blame on the overzealous lawyers that presuade the woman the current laws are in her favor and she should take FULL advantage of them.

[Pyro]

I really don't blame the women, I put more of the blame on the overzealous lawyers that presuade the woman the current laws are in her favor and she should take FULL advantage of them.

 

When it comes to the law, men and women should take advantage of what their rights are.

[Woggle]

So then whoever believes that marriage mainly benefits women are wrong according to this statement. The problem is that men who get screwed as a result of divorce only get screwed because they didn't stand up for themselves during court. Is that what you are saying?

 

The courts are biased but men give up to quick. Many of us don't have the stomach for a fight but I do. I refuse to lose when I feel I am right.

[Pyro]

The courts are biased but men give up to quick. Many of us don't have the stomach for a fight but I do. I refuse to lose when I feel I am right.

 

I'm sure that some judges may be biased, but not all of them.

 

I agree that if you are right, then you should fight when it comes to divorce.

[luvtoto]

Not true. When my parents split, my dad got custody of all us kids. I will say that women do most of the time get custody, but not all the time. It just depends on how good of parents that they were.

Wonderful Riddler! I am glad that you have proved me wrong here.

 

I live in a No-Fault Divorce state. So, maybe that's why I am being subjected to the favoritism towards the mother. I am not sure.

 

When I was 20, I accidentally got pregnant by a guy that I was only dating for a few weeks. We were pushed to get married by our Catholic families.

 

We got married shortly after our baby was born.

 

All I wanted to do was *party-hardy*. I was no where near ready to be tied down. I even cheated on him (NOT a proud moment).

 

We were married for only a year. I only worked PT, as a bartender and worked late hours. My job gave me an outlet to party!

 

He was the *good* parent..the responsible one.

 

When I decided to divorce him, I was informed by my lawyer that I would get custody, child support, our vehicle, the house, and most everything in it. He would be the one who would need to start over.

 

I, basically, had him by the balls. Not cause I wanted to..but, because that's how the courts worked.

 

Needless to say, I moved away with absolutely nothing. Gave him everything. Even custody of our child. He deserved her. I didn't.

 

The courts would have favored me, for the simple reason that I was the mother.

 

It was mind-boggling!!!! I still don't understand to this day, the whole divorce & custody process.

 

I've seen many other instances where the woman isn't so nice. I've seen about three guys suffer because of the greed of the woman, and them knowing that the courts are on their side.

 

Sorry, if it sounds as though I am boasting on and on. That's not my intention here.

 

It's just that my *only* marriage & divorce left me jaded with the entire court process.

 

Never got married again. Probably never will.

[luvtoto]

I'm sure that some judges may be biased, but not all of them.

 

I agree that if you are right, then you should fight when it comes to divorce.

From my experience, judges tend to look down on custody battles.

 

I dated a guy that took his ex to court twice for custody.

 

He never won.

 

Eventhough, he should have...hands down.

 

Talk about an unfit mother!!! Whoo!

[Noos]

I've never seen the point of marrying a man, cleaning his house, bearing his children and raising them, buying and preparing his food, and then divorcing him for cash, and remarrying solely to get more money from a second divoirce.

 

All the stuff between the wedding day and the cash settlement is too much of hassle. Isn't it just easier to get an education and a job?

[crazy_grl]

So... if marriage is just for women, why do gay guys want to be able to get married so badly?

[johan]

So... if marriage is just for women, why do gay guys want to be able to get married so badly?

 

That's easy to explain using the logic of the ones who think marriage is no good for men. The explanation would be that in gay guys there might be a few male genes that have been replaced by female ones. So their tendency to appreciate things women appreciate is not hard to understand. This is not necessarily my opinion, by the way.

[Pyro]

Wonderful Riddler! I am glad that you have proved me wrong here.

 

I live in a No-Fault Divorce state. So, maybe that's why I am being subjected to the favoritism towards the mother. I am not sure.

 

When I was 20, I accidentally got pregnant by a guy that I was only dating for a few weeks. We were pushed to get married by our Catholic families.

 

We got married shortly after our baby was born.

 

All I wanted to do was *party-hardy*. I was no where near ready to be tied down. I even cheated on him (NOT a proud moment).

 

We were married for only a year. I only worked PT, as a bartender and worked late hours. My job gave me an outlet to party!

 

He was the *good* parent..the responsible one.

 

When I decided to divorce him, I was informed by my lawyer that I would get custody, child support, our vehicle, the house, and most everything in it. He would be the one who would need to start over.

 

I, basically, had him by the balls. Not cause I wanted to..but, because that's how the courts worked.

 

Needless to say, I moved away with absolutely nothing. Gave him everything. Even custody of our child. He deserved her. I didn't.

 

The courts would have favored me, for the simple reason that I was the mother.

 

It was mind-boggling!!!! I still don't understand to this day, the whole divorce & custody process.

 

I've seen many other instances where the woman isn't so nice. I've seen about three guys suffer because of the greed of the woman, and them knowing that the courts are on their side.

 

Sorry, if it sounds as though I am boasting on and on. That's not my intention here.

 

It's just that my *only* marriage & divorce left me jaded with the entire court process.

 

Never got married again. Probably never will.

 

Wow.

 

I give you kudos and very high praise for doing the morally right thing.

 

Seriously Luv, anyone with morals like those is a true catch. You will make the right guy when he comes along very lucky.

 

Marriage is definitely not for everyone, but for those who want to get married, let them experience it for themselves. Instead of calling them fools (not you Luv) for deciding to get married, lets be happy for them.

[Woggle]

Wonderful Riddler! I am glad that you have proved me wrong here.

 

I live in a No-Fault Divorce state. So, maybe that's why I am being subjected to the favoritism towards the mother. I am not sure.

 

When I was 20, I accidentally got pregnant by a guy that I was only dating for a few weeks. We were pushed to get married by our Catholic families.

 

We got married shortly after our baby was born.

 

All I wanted to do was *party-hardy*. I was no where near ready to be tied down. I even cheated on him (NOT a proud moment).

 

We were married for only a year. I only worked PT, as a bartender and worked late hours. My job gave me an outlet to party!

 

He was the *good* parent..the responsible one.

 

When I decided to divorce him, I was informed by my lawyer that I would get custody, child support, our vehicle, the house, and most everything in it. He would be the one who would need to start over.

 

I, basically, had him by the balls. Not cause I wanted to..but, because that's how the courts worked.

 

Needless to say, I moved away with absolutely nothing. Gave him everything. Even custody of our child. He deserved her. I didn't.

 

The courts would have favored me, for the simple reason that I was the mother.

 

It was mind-boggling!!!! I still don't understand to this day, the whole divorce & custody process.

 

I've seen many other instances where the woman isn't so nice. I've seen about three guys suffer because of the greed of the woman, and them knowing that the courts are on their side.

 

Sorry, if it sounds as though I am boasting on and on. That's not my intention here.

 

It's just that my *only* marriage & divorce left me jaded with the entire court process.

 

Never got married again. Probably never will.

 

I give you credit for being fair in the divorce, Many women go for the balls so I give you credit for having your finger on the button and not pressing it.

[Gunny376]

Be forwarned ~ this may be long, although I will attempt to keep it as brief as possible.

 

Up unitil about 60 or 70 years ago, divorce was pratically un-heard of? (This is most of our grandparents and great-grandparents days). The reason? His fault, her fault, the man got everything, hands down, no ifs, ands, nor buts about it. It had only been ten, twenty years since women since women had gotten the right to vote ~ even then they generally voted for who there husbands voted for, or if they voted at all.

 

Then came the sixties and sevnties ~ and a long came women's lib. How do judges (or at least divorce judges) get their jobs? How do legislatures get their jobs? Their elected. More and more women begin voting, and recognizing which side butter their bread, the rulings and laws begin chaning.

 

In an effort to right an obvious wrong, the penduliumn has swung too far in the favor or men. Femininist stir up all kinds of BS.

 

Deadbeat Deads. As I mentioned there are such things as Deadbeat Dads, but even if they made to pay it through wage garnishment, tax leins, property liens, etc, there are less deadbeat dads than there are deadbeat moms. The rate of deadbeat moms is almost 90%

 

In Flordia several years ago ~ the State Attorney General was going to crack down on "dead-beat" dads! Come to find out, that about 8,000 of them were dead-beat dads because ~ well because they were dead. Another 4,000 or so were in prison.

 

While there are exceptions the typical marriage I've seen is guy and gal get married. Usually on a shoe string, without any savings, witihout an emergency fund, living hand to mouth, payday to payday. (Newsweek ~ 80% of all American households are one paycheck away from having a "refigerator crisis ~ no food in the house, and two months away from being homeless). If they've managed to buy a house, they've probally have bought more house than they can afford. Mortgaged to the hilt. Then come the babies, and the hospital bills, and then the easy credit, and then trying to keep up with the Jones' etc The wife's going through all these dramatic hormonal changes because of the pregno's and babies, loses interst in sex, gains weight, doesn't have time to lose weight ~ husband is bored, horny cheats on wife or vice versa wife becomes bored with being a SAHM, on and on the Merry-Go-Round goes.

 

I got divorced 17 years ago ~ rebounded into another shack-up deal for six and half. I'm single. I've intentionally took a sabatical from dating, mating, relationships to get my life where I want and need it to be, I live in a nice place, drive a new car with less than 15,000 miles on it with all the bells and whistles ~ paid cash for. My water bill ~ $10, my house gas bill ~ $10, my phone bill ~ $30, my grocery bill ~ $100 a month (I know how to cook from scratch). I've got a years worth of income sitting in the bank ~ just in case it rains ~ and its going to rain one day. Over and above that ~ I've got money set aside for scheduled auto maintenace, tags, tires, etc. Murphy of Murphy's law ~ he doesn't come around here too much anymore.

 

I go to WalMart, Sears, JC Penny, the malls ~ half, if not 75% of the stuff their selling I don't have any use for.

 

I'm not bragging here, but the nut that I've got to crack each month above and over my military retirement is $265 a month. I can go get a part time job at MikeyD's flipping burgers and live a good life ~ but I couldn't do it if I was married, trying to help some gal raise some other man's children.

 

To paraphrase ~ steal a phrase from JFK, "Ask not what I can do for you, but what you can do for me!"

 

Cook, I'm a better cook than most any woman, there's not a woman on th planet I can't outcook. And there's nothing that I can't cook ~ from scracth.

 

Wash clothes ~ clean house ~ give me a break. A Marine's idea of cleaning is dragging everything out of the room or house and scrubbing everything from the ceiling down. And then putting it back in.

 

Sex~ I won't even go there! "I just gave you some, yesterday, last week, last month, last year!" Oral sex? You'd better enjoy it while you're dating her, because you can kiss it goodbye once you marry her. I had one Bro, who while changing clothes from the wedding to the reception, tried to just kiss his bride and cope a feel, and was told, "There won't be any of that! We're married NOW! :eek: On his wedding night, he was asked by his Bride ~ "Aren't you done, yet?!!

 

Its like I use to tell my young Marines, when they would ask me about getting married?

 

"Live in a 20 year old rat invested, single wide, rented trailer, drive a 74' Ford Maverick held together with Hope, Prayer, bailing wire and Duct Tape, eating rancid cheese sandwiches and "Oddles of Noodles"

 

Yea! Go for it!

[Moose]

All I wanted to do was *party-hardy*. I was no where near ready to be tied down. I even cheated on him (NOT a proud moment).

 

We were married for only a year. I only worked PT, as a bartender and worked late hours. My job gave me an outlet to party

Yes, Kudos for doing the right thing. That is rare.

 

My thoughts when I read this though were if you had gone to court, you would've lost your behind anyways.

 

Your, "lawyer" favored you, not the courts.

 

Your, "lawyer" got you pumped up into believing you'd come out un-scathed.

 

Your, "lawyer" would've gotten paid a lot of money regardless, why would he jeapordize that and tell you you would lose?

"Live in a 20 year old rat invested, single wide, rented trailer, drive a 74' Ford Maverick held together with Hope, Prayer, bailing wire and Duct Tape, eating rancid cheese sandwiches and "Oddles of Noodles"

This was my life for 4 years!! Cept' my Maverick was like a 70' model.....

[Woggle]

I was living good after my divorce so I don't what these other guys are talking about. I lived on Ramen noodles when i was broke after my ex left it was fresh seafood and Italian. Living in a shore town with Italians everywhere has it's benefits if you love good foof.

[luvtoto]

Wow.

 

I give you kudos and very high praise for doing the morally right thing.

Thanks, Riddler. But it didn't *look* morally right to alot of people involved.

 

Everyone saw me as just someone that left him holding the bag. Ya know what?? If that's what it appeared to be, then so be it. That was a situation where I couldn't win.

 

I give you credit for being fair in the divorce, Many women go for the balls so I give you credit for having your finger on the button and not pressing it.

Thanks, Woggle. Coming from you, I'll take that as a major compliment.

 

Alot of people despised me for walking out on the mess I made. But, I held myself accountable for my actions. Obviously, the courts weren't going to do it. If anything...they were going to reward me.

[a4a]

Thanks, Riddler. But it didn't *look* morally right to alot of people involved.

 

Everyone saw me as just someone that left him holding the bag. Ya know what?? If that's what it appeared to be, then so be it. That was a situation where I couldn't win.

 

 

Thanks, Woggle. Coming from you, I'll take that as a major compliment.

 

Alot of people despised me for walking out on the mess I made. But, I held myself accountable for my actions. Obviously, the courts weren't going to do it. If anything...they were going to reward me.

 

Shocked that people are praising this......

 

when a person admits they are not ready to be a parent most of the time they are slammed for having the sex that led them there.

 

Now if this was a man who expressed the same thing....... I think the replies would be different.

 

This is where I get so annoyed about men trapped into parenthood by women and told they are scum for not being responsible fathers....... this created a cyclone of thoughts in my head that I am not prepared to spew forth at the moment.

[Moose]

Shocked that people are praising this......

 

when a person admits they are not ready to be a parent most of the time they are slammed for having the sex that led them there.

 

Now if this was a man who expressed the same thing....... I think the replies would be different.

 

This is where I get so annoyed about men trapped into parenthood by women and told they are scum for not being responsible fathers....... this created a cyclone of thoughts in my head that I am not prepared to spew forth at the moment.

I think she did get slammed, just not by us.

 

I don't think this particular situation is a good example. I guarentee you had she went to court, the judge wouldn't of given her anything her lawyer claimed she would get.....

[luvtoto]

I think she did get slammed, just not by us.

 

I don't think this particular situation is a good example. I guarentee you had she went to court, the judge wouldn't of given her anything her lawyer claimed she would get.....

Geez, Moose...we didn't have all that much. My goodness, we were only 20 yrs old. We had one *new* vehicle, rented our home, lived paycheck to paycheck.

 

I would have gotten custody of my daughter, so in turn, I would been given the things that go along with taking care of her.

 

However, the very most important thing that I could have gotten was my daughter. I didn't deserve her. He did.

 

That's all that mattered to him. I had screwed up his life enough, I wasn't about to let him pay for my mistakes.

 

But, go ahead...judge.

[Moose]

I would have gotten custody of my daughter, so in turn, I would been given the things that go along with taking care of her.

You'll never know that. All I'm saying is that I don't think you would've. Your above statement is a common misconception. The Judge would've looked at your age and lifestyle, and his age and lifestyle and would've considered EVERYTHING.......in honor of my good friend BO....."I'm just sayin'"

[LuckyStar26]

Be forwarned ~ this may be long, although I will attempt to keep it as brief as possible.

 

Up unitil about 60 or 70 years ago, divorce was pratically un-heard of? (This is most of our grandparents and great-grandparents days). The reason? His fault, her fault, the man got everything, hands down, no ifs, ands, nor buts about it. It had only been ten, twenty years since women since women had gotten the right to vote ~ even then they generally voted for who there husbands voted for, or if they voted at all.

 

Then came the sixties and sevnties ~ and a long came women's lib. How do judges (or at least divorce judges) get their jobs? How do legislatures get their jobs? Their elected. More and more women begin voting, and recognizing which side butter their bread, the rulings and laws begin chaning.

 

In an effort to right an obvious wrong, the penduliumn has swung too far in the favor or men. Femininist stir up all kinds of BS.

 

Deadbeat Deads. As I mentioned there are such things as Deadbeat Dads, but even if they made to pay it through wage garnishment, tax leins, property liens, etc, there are less deadbeat dads than there are deadbeat moms. The rate of deadbeat moms is almost 90%

 

In Flordia several years ago ~ the State Attorney General was going to crack down on "dead-beat" dads! Come to find out, that about 8,000 of them were dead-beat dads because ~ well because they were dead. Another 4,000 or so were in prison.

 

While there are exceptions the typical marriage I've seen is guy and gal get married. Usually on a shoe string, without any savings, witihout an emergency fund, living hand to mouth, payday to payday. (Newsweek ~ 80% of all American households are one paycheck away from having a "refigerator crisis ~ no food in the house, and two months away from being homeless). If they've managed to buy a house, they've probally have bought more house than they can afford. Mortgaged to the hilt. Then come the babies, and the hospital bills, and then the easy credit, and then trying to keep up with the Jones' etc The wife's going through all these dramatic hormonal changes because of the pregno's and babies, loses interst in sex, gains weight, doesn't have time to lose weight ~ husband is bored, horny cheats on wife or vice versa wife becomes bored with being a SAHM, on and on the Merry-Go-Round goes.

 

I got divorced 17 years ago ~ rebounded into another shack-up deal for six and half. I'm single. I've intentionally took a sabatical from dating, mating, relationships to get my life where I want and need it to be, I live in a nice place, drive a new car with less than 15,000 miles on it with all the bells and whistles ~ paid cash for. My water bill ~ $10, my house gas bill ~ $10, my phone bill ~ $30, my grocery bill ~ $100 a month (I know how to cook from scratch). I've got a years worth of income sitting in the bank ~ just in case it rains ~ and its going to rain one day. Over and above that ~ I've got money set aside for scheduled auto maintenace, tags, tires, etc. Murphy of Murphy's law ~ he doesn't come around here too much anymore.

 

I go to WalMart, Sears, JC Penny, the malls ~ half, if not 75% of the stuff their selling I don't have any use for.

 

I'm not bragging here, but the nut that I've got to crack each month above and over my military retirement is $265 a month. I can go get a part time job at MikeyD's flipping burgers and live a good life ~ but I couldn't do it if I was married, trying to help some gal raise some other man's children.

 

To paraphrase ~ steal a phrase from JFK, "Ask not what I can do for you, but what you can do for me!"

 

Cook, I'm a better cook than most any woman, there's not a woman on th planet I can't outcook. And there's nothing that I can't cook ~ from scracth.

 

Wash clothes ~ clean house ~ give me a break. A Marine's idea of cleaning is dragging everything out of the room or house and scrubbing everything from the ceiling down. And then putting it back in.

 

Sex~ I won't even go there! "I just gave you some, yesterday, last week, last month, last year!" Oral sex? You'd better enjoy it while you're dating her, because you can kiss it goodbye once you marry her. I had one Bro, who while changing clothes from the wedding to the reception, tried to just kiss his bride and cope a feel, and was told, "There won't be any of that! We're married NOW! :eek: On his wedding night, he was asked by his Bride ~ "Aren't you done, yet?!!

 

Its like I use to tell my young Marines, when they would ask me about getting married?

 

"Live in a 20 year old rat invested, single wide, rented trailer, drive a 74' Ford Maverick held together with Hope, Prayer, bailing wire and Duct Tape, eating rancid cheese sandwiches and "Oddles of Noodles"

 

Yea! Go for it!

Out of interest Gunny - would you ever consider getting married again? or is that it for you?

 

I only ask because this topic intrigues me in view of my current situation with my BF. He was with his ex wife for 13 years, married for 6, they had two children. She left him for a younger man, whom she now has a baby with. My BF busted his azz off during their marriage, working 16 hour days, bought her anything and everything she god damn wanted, provided for his children and was never unfaithful.

 

She turns around one day (whilst he is led underneath a digger, trying to fix it for one of his customers) and says "are you coming to my sisters babies christening this afternoon?" he says "If I can get this finished i'll be there with you" she says "Dont bother coming, in fact don't bother coming home at all" and that was that - they've been divorced for four years now. Same old story, he had to sell his house because the Child support agency screwed him for money to pay for his kids (even though one of them lives with him full time) she screwed him for pretty much everything he had blah blah blah

 

Anyways, he says he wouldn't ever consider getting married again because he feels like he worked his butt off for 13 years of his life for nothing. (bearing in mind he's still only 33 years old, and has enough time to do it all over again if he wanted). And do you know what, I don't blame him one little bit. It's a bit like getting your finger wet and sticking into an electric socket. Would you do it again?

[luvtoto]

You'll never know that. All I'm saying is that I don't think you would've. Your above statement is a common misconception. The Judge would've looked at your age and lifestyle, and his age and lifestyle and would've considered EVERYTHING.......in honor of my good friend BO....."I'm just sayin'"

You are starting to capitalize your words now! Uh oh!

 

I disagree with your ideas, Moose. I've seen it happen too many times in my life to the 'good guys'.

 

It is ok that I have a different opinion than you, isn't it?

 

Earlier on in this thread, you asked me for examples...I gave them. Also, stated that I was boasting.

 

Now, my examples are not good. Go figure!

 

I've talked in circles with you before in other posts. I've learned my lesson. Let's do the right thing here and just agree to disagree.

[luvtoto]

Shocked that people are praising this......

 

when a person admits they are not ready to be a parent most of the time they are slammed for having the sex that led them there.

 

Now if this was a man who expressed the same thing....... I think the replies would be different.

 

This is where I get so annoyed about men trapped into parenthood by women and told they are scum for not being responsible fathers....... this created a cyclone of thoughts in my head that I am not prepared to spew forth at the moment.

a4a, I completely see where you are coming from here. You have a valid point.

 

Feel free to voice your thoughts. I am interested.

[Moose]

You are starting to capitalize your words now! Uh oh!

So what? I do that alot.....

I disagree with your ideas, Moose. I've seen it happen too many times in my life to the 'good guys'.

I understand that. Could it be possible that you've just ignored the other side of that coin?

It is ok that I have a different opinion than you, isn't it?

Of course it is. But it's not your opinion that I'm calling you on. I'm calling you on fact. The fact is that you never went to court, you just settled. So:

Earlier on in this thread, you asked me for examples...I gave them. Also, stated that I was boasting.

 

Now, my examples are not good. Go figure!

Is null and void, and not a good example. That was ALL that I was saying....

I've talked in circles with you before in other posts. I've learned my lesson. Let's do the right thing here and just agree to disagree.

Sure....what-eva floats your boat!