justagirlforever Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 and you've never generalized JAGF?? everyone does it. Hey, no one is perfect (oops - is this a generalization?!) I consciously *try* not to. But every once in a while, I too can slip up. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 Hey, no one is perfect (oops - is this a generalization?!) I consciously *try* not to. But every once in a while, I too can slip up. The "everyone does it" excuse is the worst excuse. Some guys leave their pregnant wives, so its ok for me to do it. No offense to you JAGF. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 24, 2007 Share Posted February 24, 2007 I know that the OP focused solely on men getting suckered but I see it as a thread for all single people who desire to remain single. Solely in my opinion marriage began as a legal and fiscal commitment to the other family, aka joining of estates for the nobility. Let's also not forget about the dowry of 15 cows and 20 stone salted pork for your virgin daughter. I believe the meaning of marriage changed when organized religion took an interest in it as another means to control the masses. Currently, it's considered by many as a commitment between two people, emotionally and financially. Now that I've had my experience with the sanctity of marriage, I'll have to admit that it's just a piece of paper. If you make certain that both your head and heart are committed, the paper doesn't matter. This is probably why a prenup doesn't bother me. If anything, I will be insisting on a prenup myself, if I should ever choose to go that course again. Link to post Share on other sites
katiebour Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Lets say your mother had not been married and divorced 3 times. Lets say she stayed with your father and was still happily married, would you still consider a prenup if you were getting married? The only reason I would consider a prenup would be for the peace of mind of my to-be spouse. As far as I'm concerned it's insulting to me to ask that I notarize a statement promising to be moral and fair should divorce occur. That kind of rules out the possibility that I would CHOOSE to be moral and fair. But then again in my LTRs in the past, I have never been the one to do the breaking up. I have sought to "work things out," offered to go to counseling, done everything in my power to preserve a relationship that I wanted and in which I believed. My current b/f is of the same mold, so honestly if we did get married, I don't see divorce as a likely occurence. (I am aware that no one goes into marriage thinking they'll get divorced ) So if it would make him feel better, sleep better at night knowing that he has that piece of insurance, then I have no issue with doing it. My mother's multiple divorces really play no part. But thanks for asking Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 First of all let me clear something up, and in my profession I am qualified, and required to tell you all this: It IS NOT human nature to NOT be able to be faithful to 1 person for life. Men? Women? It IS absolutely, positively bred in all of us to find 1 mate and be with that mate for life. Im getting so sick of reading how its not in our nature to do just that when it in fact is. Whoever started telling the world the opposite is wrong, it is justification for infidelity!! Thats exactly what it is and it disgusts me personally!! The main reason why there is so much infidelity in the world is because people have begun to accept it, and use lame excuses. The one I always hear is that it isnt human nature to be faithful to one person, and boy do I want to scream every time I hear it!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 So you tell them that not everyone wants to get married. Tell them you are comfortable with where you are at and to leave it be. If your friends continue to try and set you up, then they obviously have some communication problems. You don't even know the half of it! One of my coworkers showed me a pic of a guy. He was 20 years older than me and retired. Um...I am not interested. She asked me if he could call me. I said, "Um, thanks, but no thanks." Guess what! He called me one day out of the blue at work. Asked me out on a date. GRRRR.... One word..awkward!! I am going to go out with one of my other coworkers friends. But, it will be at a BBQ at their house or something casual. I don't want any PRE-expectations. If it works out. Good. If it doesn't...then so what. many married people are intimidated by singles and don't want them around. singles are seen as a potential threat to their marriage union. they want you to marry so you're no longer a threat. Good point. I have had my share of dirty looks from wives. so? go out with the dudes, you'll probably get a free steak dinner out of it Will do!! Just not in any hurry to rush it along. Hey, no one is perfect (oops - is this a generalization?!) I consciously *try* not to. But every once in a while, I too can slip up. Cute. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 You don't even know the half of it! One of my coworkers showed me a pic of a guy. He was 20 years older than me and retired. Um...I am not interested. She asked me if he could call me. I said, "Um, thanks, but no thanks." Guess what! He called me one day out of the blue at work. Asked me out on a date. GRRRR.... One word..awkward!! I am going to go out with one of my other coworkers friends. But, it will be at a BBQ at their house or something casual. I don't want any PRE-expectations. If it works out. Good. If it doesn't...then so what. Good point. I have had my share of dirty looks from wives. I guess that some people just don't know when to quit. They are persistant, so you just have to keep up with them. Thats cool that you do have friends that do care about you. I mean some friends wouldn't give a f*ck, but they do. All that they need to do now is to learn how to listen to what you are saying. Yes there are a lot of insecure husbands and wives who are intimidated by singles. I never mean any harm and when I was single, I had a few people who were intimidated by me. I kind of like it when we are somewhere and some guy comes along and starts trying to "spit game" at my GF. Makes me feel special. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 You don't even know the half of it! One of my coworkers showed me a pic of a guy. He was 20 years older than me and retired. Um...I am not interested. She asked me if he could call me. I said, "Um, thanks, but no thanks." Guess what! He called me one day out of the blue at work. Asked me out on a date. GRRRR.... One word..awkward!! well LUBTOTO...thats a problem not with you or him but more so with the intermediary (your coworker). You can just lie and say you're interested in someone right now and leave it at that. But be firm. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Yes there are a lot of insecure husbands and wives who are intimidated by singles. I never mean any harm and when I was single, I had a few people who were intimidated by me. Why do I believe that?? I just want to say, "Hey, it ain't my damn fault if your H is starring at me!!" well LUBTOTO...thats a problem not with you or him but more so with the intermediary (your coworker). You can just lie and say you're interested in someone right now and leave it at that. But be firm. ALPHAWHALE, it's not a problem. It was just awkward as hell! He was like, "Hey, hello, I am so-and-so's friend. Happy birthday by the way. I was just wondering if you wanted to go out for dinner some night?" I was thinking like, "Who the **** are you?? You got some balls." I never mentioned that call to my co-worker. The call lasted only 30 seconds. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 I didn't read through this whole thread but this statment from the Op was funny. ..marriage basically only benefits women I wouldn't worry Sweetie about that statement being true, if she was married to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Why do I believe that?? I just want to say, "Hey, it ain't my damn fault if your H is starring at me!!" Thanks. We have no control over who finds us attractive, that or they are not getting the amount of attention that they were hoping for in their relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
catrocks Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 Well, I dont' know. I get judged often by married people wondering why I am single. Just in the last three weeks, I've had two..no wait...three of my friends attempt to set me up. They've all labeled me as "too shy". When someone asks me, "So, why are you single?"...it translates to: "So, what's wrong with you? Got issues?" That is plain rude. Tell them to p*ss off I wouldn't do that, but I know people who would and they suck. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 That is plain rude. Tell them to p*ss off I wouldn't do that, but I know people who would and they suck. People are fascinated by our reasons why we are single. People just assume that we are miserable, lonely & troubled people. Quite the opposite, thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 People are fascinated by our reasons why we are single. People just assume that we are miserable, lonely & troubled people. Quite the opposite, thank you. From what I see and hear, the only ones that are miserable are the ones who speak out about it. The ones who are quite content with being single won't mention it and use that energy for something more worthwhile. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted February 26, 2007 Share Posted February 26, 2007 From what I see and hear, the only ones that are miserable are the ones who speak out about it. The ones who are quite content with being single won't mention it and use that energy for something more worthwhile. Well, I am not trying to contradict myself here, because I do miss being in a man's arms, kissing, touching... But, marriage? I don't know. He'd have to be pretty damn special. We'd have to be pretty compatible. I'll keep you posted, if he finds me. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Well, I am not trying to contradict myself here, because I do miss being in a man's arms, kissing, touching... But, marriage? I don't know. He'd have to be pretty damn special. We'd have to be pretty compatible. I'll keep you posted, if he finds me. I know, but you are the type that would like to meet someone special, but in the meantime, you are content and happy with your current situation. Does that sound about right? I'll be here waiting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Porn_Guy Posted February 27, 2007 Author Share Posted February 27, 2007 The call lasted only 30 seconds. quickest blow-off ever? People are fascinated by our reasons why we are single. People just assume that we are miserable, lonely & troubled people. Quite the opposite, thank you. Well many singles assume married folk are happy with good companionship and are living in a bed-of-roses. In most circumstance quite the opposite is true. Well, I am not trying to contradict myself here, because I do miss being in a man's arms, kissing, touching... you could be hugging & kissing me Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 I know, but you are the type that would like to meet someone special, but in the meantime, you are content and happy with your current situation. Does that sound about right? Yes, exactly! I am almost too content. When I meet someone new, I just see them as sort of a threat to my independence and freedom. I'll be here waiting. Don't tease me like that, Riddler! Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Yes, exactly! I am almost too content. When I meet someone new, I just see them as sort of a threat to my independence and freedom. Don't tease me like that, Riddler! Ahh, I guess that could be a problem. When you meet the right one, he will blow awy that barrier of yours. After I posted that, I saw how it looked. I meant it more towards I'll be here waiting for when you come back here and let us know when he finds you. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 After I posted that, I saw how it looked. I meant it more towards I'll be here waiting for when you come back here and let us know when he finds you. OH, right! You are such a tease, Riddler! I gotta go play with my dog now. He's barking mad that I'm not spending enough time with him. Hey Alpha, ya know I love ya like a brother! (JK) Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 OH, right! You are such a tease, Riddler! I gotta go play with my dog now. He's barking mad that I'm not spending enough time with him. Hey Alpha, ya know I love ya like a brother! (JK) I guess that I can come across that way sometimes, but I can assure you that I am not. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 I couldn't read this whole post but I agree. Why do "Cake men" get married? Just stay single, screw everyone they want, hire someone to have their kids and take care of them, wash their clothes, cook their meals and clean their house. Why get married when one knows they have no intentions of keeping their vows? Why make someone else's life miserable when you can be alone and do exactly as you wish? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 I couldn't read this whole post but I agree. Why do "Cake men" get married? Just stay single, screw everyone they want, hire someone to have their kids and take care of them, wash their clothes, cook their meals and clean their house. Why get married when one knows they have no intentions of keeping their vows? Why make someone else's life miserable when you can be alone and do exactly as you wish? Many cake men intend on having a happy, loving and long lasting marriage but after years of being married to a woman that Nags him 24/7 Resents for reasons he can't even begin to figure out Refuses to be intimate with him Constantly walks around with that sour look of contempt. Men know what I am talking about when I say that look it feels good when another woman actually treats him well. Most of these men are trapped because if they leave they will never see the kids again and they will be cleaned out in divorce so they seek love elsewhere to take the edge off the crap at home. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 Many cake men intend on having a happy, loving and long lasting marriage but after years of being married to a woman that Nags him 24/7 Resents for reasons he can't even begin to figure out Refuses to be intimate with him Constantly walks around with that sour look of contempt. Men know what I am talking about when I say that look it feels good when another woman actually treats him well. Most of these men are trapped because if they leave they will never see the kids again and they will be cleaned out in divorce so they seek love elsewhere to take the edge off the crap at home. Couldn't they just drink or smoke crack instead of having an affair? Some people......... I repeat........ people cheat because of their own lack of a value system they set for themselves, selfish desire to "feel good", and sadly because of low self esteem. not all cheat because their spouse is a evil stink eye giving person with a nag rate of 9.0 on the rictor scale.....or beat their spouse and run to another for comfort.... or maybe the spouse is a workaholic, neglects the spouse and is out of the house 99% of the time. People cheat on People for a variety of reasons..... but ultimatley they are responsible for that decision to do so. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 People cheat on People for a variety of reasons..... but ultimatley they are responsible for that decision to do so. Hear, hear. Represent, sister. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts