Kamille Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Or, rephrased, how important are a woman's looks to a man? Lately, I've been hanging out with a friend of mine, G, who is hot by all standards, and, for some reason, this is making me feel insecure (some of the time). Namely, recently, a guy I have been interested told another friend (i know how very high school) that he thought my friend G was hot and he would go out with her. This is rather interesting considering: he never spoke to her - and she therefore has no idea who he is. My question is linked to another one: how important is self-confidence? I believe that part of my friend's appeal is the fact that she knows she's hot and always approaches every man as though it's a given he's into her. So what makes a woman attractive for you guys? (in the initial pre-dating stages). Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Her attitude all together, but I also have to be physically attracted to her. Her attitude includes: confidence, kindness, loyalty, intelligence, and sense of humor all into one woman. I hope that I didn't miss anything. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 This would probably be a good time to say that people do like a challenge. It's easy to make assumptions about a person based on their body language, looks, and how they carry themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Just keep in mind: if he's a nice guy, then how she looks will pretty much be irrelevant. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 So what makes a woman attractive for you guys? (in the initial pre-dating stages). Self-confidence is a good start. I am attracted to a woman who carries herself well, takes pride in her appearance and isn't full of herself. She doesn't have to be overly attractive but she does have to stand up for herself and make herself count. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 Thanks for the replies everyone. It was very much what I expected I guess and it makes me feel like there is hope for me after all. See, the thing is, the one descriptive I get the most is cute. Guys think I'm cute. Ex-Boyfriends told me (and still tell me) that i'm beautiful, but hot was never a word used to describe me (except from my girl friends). Cute is a word that leaves me cold... To me it's like a passing grade or something. What does cute mean? How does a cute girl go about landing a guy? I mean, what are her chances of getting noticed when her friend is 'hot'? A guy did approach me this weekend, but it was only once my 'hot' friend was clearly hitting it off with another man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 Ah! And another thing I'm wondering is this: is it possible for a cutie to become a hottie? What makes the difference between cute and hot? See, the other day, my hot friend and I were going out for a walk in the snow and she had to borrow a hat. She put the hat on and I just couldn't believe the difference it made... She suddenly became: cute. She actually took it off and ended up wrapping her scarf around her head (that which she had seen Angelina Jolie do) and, tah dah: hot again. So - cutie to hottie: how to? (Perhaps some ladies could chime in on this one). Link to post Share on other sites
Road Rage Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Kamille Life is a card game where you are dealt a hand and you have to play it. Just do the best you can do. I find for myself, that nagging inner voice that says you are lacking in some way to be my worst enemy. For example, if there is a woman I am attracted to and the inner voice is railng me, the real trick is being in control at that moment. The Force is watching and testing you. Be calm, be yourself even moreso. Stay focused on your inner self. Feel at peace with yourself. Do not let it get to you. This way something in the universe is altered. You must let it go. If it is yours it will find you when you are at peace within. Yes, it is difficult to do and is fraught with failure. But the surest path to repeated failure is give in to the nagging inner voice. Learn by your mistakes and grow to peace within. That which you percieve others possess will in part be redirected to you when you can let go. Let them have their joy in life and don`t be anxious about others. Your lot of happiness is there and awaits you. Do not seek what others have been given. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 Thanks Road Rage, It all makes sense to me and definitely applies to the times when I have met someone and things worked out. What I do take from your post and that I definitely applied with success is to not let things like that bother me and just go on having fun and being myself (and I love to have fun, joke around and meet people, so it usually works). So I agree - but I'm kind of curious about the difference between my friend and I. For starters, I tend to be pickier then she is when it comes to the guys I date. It used to mean I would hardly look at a guy if I thought he was a player. She's a notorious player 'converter'. I am learning to give more guys a chance to flirt and approach (and it is a lot of fun). You know what, I think this weekend I am going to go out and just be hot. It seems that that is what she does... She KNOWS she's hot (she's kind of perfected the art of it) and I'm wondering how much that comes into the picture. For instance, there is this one friend of mine who has approached me on a few occasions who I keep turning down because I think he drinks too much (I only ever saw him drunk). She saw him at a party, pointed him out and said, laughing, 'that guy thinks I'm hot'. (I was actually flabbergasted byt this comment but that's another thread). See, I didn't take him approaching me as proof of anything other then, ok, he is looking for some action. She takes it as a compliment. Link to post Share on other sites
Road Rage Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Truth be know Kamille you and me are just alike. The only thing that separates us from most people is that we are picky. We are out to chose wisely. And maybe that just causes us to miss opportunities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 21, 2007 Author Share Posted February 21, 2007 Truth be know Kamille you and me are just alike. The only thing that separates us from most people is that we are picky. We are out to chose wisely. And maybe that just causes us to miss opportunities. I agree we might be missing opportunities. I am going to try and open my criterias to more people. At the same time, I am a bit dubious about the two guys cited above (player and drunk) who have approached me - but I don't really think that's a bad thing. If they want anything serious with me, they'd have to step up. So here is how I will modify my attitude. One voice inside me says: as if, those guys would never step up (not for me). Move on. The other, new one, says : who knows - give them a chance to prove themselves and see where it takes you. If they don't, they don't - I can still have fun flirting with them - but that's all they get. Link to post Share on other sites
Road Rage Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Kamille, You have the right attitude. By becoming open to others and accepting them as they are attracts others to you. It is really simple, if you are kind to all people many other guys will be encouraged to approach you. You will have a lot more to chose from. So, you don`t limit yourself. You actually create possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Ah! And another thing I'm wondering is this: is it possible for a cutie to become a hottie? What makes the difference between cute and hot? See, the other day, my hot friend and I were going out for a walk in the snow and she had to borrow a hat. She put the hat on and I just couldn't believe the difference it made... She suddenly became: cute. She actually took it off and ended up wrapping her scarf around her head (that which she had seen Angelina Jolie do) and, tah dah: hot again. So - cutie to hottie: how to? (Perhaps some ladies could chime in on this one). Yes it is. Being hot is attitude. Forget the Hollywood types. If you look at many of the women who attract men like flies, there's an incredible amount of body language going on, most of it subconscious. How she even looks at a man is different. Some drop their heads a bit and look up at the guy through their lashes (usually heavily mascara'd or with fake eyelashes). Most of these gals flirt with every part of their bodies sometimes consciously, other times not. Have you never gone to a club or party with your girlfriends, walked in feeling oh so good about yourselves and dominated the place? That would be the hot attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 The Gilligan's Island formula. It is said that there are two types of men Those that prefer Ginnger from Gilligan's Island or Maryanne Hot is just a relative term. Me I'm a Maryanne kinda guy Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 By the time I was 12 I had decided that CUTE was a 4 letter word. ARGH! I want to kill people who tell me I'm cute or even those that stop to tell you you look like..(Insert name of some actress who is CUTE...at best). I've started saying no no no, don't tell me, it'll just give me a big head. Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Or, rephrased, how important are a woman's looks to a man? Depends on the man. In my case...not too terribly. Granted, I probably wouldn't be attracted to someone who is, for example, 50 pounds overweight and has a non-operable wart on her nose. But then again, I don't really want a super model either. I have always been attracted to women that have a little bit of weight on them. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My question is linked to another one: how important is self-confidence? I believe that part of my friend's appeal is the fact that she knows she's hot and always approaches every man as though it's a given he's into her. BINGO...and thats why I don't give women like that a 2nd thought. A woman can be the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth...but once you realize she is full of herself and is drowning in narcissism...it makes her the most butt ugly being on the face of the earth. So what makes a woman attractive for you guys? (in the initial pre-dating stages). A smile...definitely...and also related..how her eyes look when she smiles. Most importantly...how she interacts with me..talks to me...things like that. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 I don't see anything wrong with being cute. Lots of men marry the cute girls and date the hot ones. If I were you Kamile I would just be myself and there's nothing wrong with being cute. Your friend is hot and that's her personality and you shouldn't try to act the way she does. It works for her because that is who she is and may come off for you that you are trying to be someone you are not. I think when a guy calls a girl cute he means she is pretty and adorable. When they say she is hot it means she is pretty and sexy. The "hot" women usually are "player converters" because men love the challenge they present, but who wants to convert a dog anyway. Just be you and you will be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 I think when a guy calls a girl cute he means she is pretty and adorable. When they say she is hot it means she is pretty and sexy. The "hot" women usually are "player converters" because men love the challenge they present, but who wants to convert a dog anyway. Just be you and you will be fine. I'm considered one of those cute things and trust me that whole adorable thing gets old REALLY fast. Why can't we be sexy too? According to a certain someon I can only be cute sexy. What ever the heck that means. O well I'd rather be called cute then ugly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 22, 2007 Author Share Posted February 22, 2007 For my part, I like pretty and adorable... Thanks stillafool. I mean, sexy is for intimacy in my case. My god! I feel illuminated. I am going to go out and just feel quite adorable! Link to post Share on other sites
LaughMachine Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Self-confidence is a good start. I am attracted to a woman who carries herself well, takes pride in her appearance and isn't full of herself. She doesn't have to be overly attractive but she does have to stand up for herself and make herself count. Excatly not too much and not too little:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted February 22, 2007 Author Share Posted February 22, 2007 Another question then... Why is it that when in a bar situation, guys (strangers) are more likety to approach the 'hot' chick and not the cute and oh so adorable one? Link to post Share on other sites
humblegirl Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Because they are under the influence of alcohol and sex is on the top of their brain. So they look at the ones they think are the best in bed. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Eddie Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 I'm considered one of those cute things and trust me that whole adorable thing gets old REALLY fast. Why can't we be sexy too? According to a certain someon I can only be cute sexy. What ever the heck that means. O well I'd rather be called cute then ugly. I don't know. I've always found cute to be unbelievably sexy, while the girls that seem to be considered "hot" don't turn me on as much. But maybe I'm weird. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 No Crazy Eddie you aren't weird you sound very nice and grounded. See Kamille the really nice guys go for your type. Let your friend have those "bad boy" types. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Because they are under the influence of alcohol and sex is on the top of their brain. So they look at the ones they think are the best in bed. That's good to know. I don't know. I've always found cute to be unbelievably sexy, while the girls that seem to be considered "hot" don't turn me on as much. But maybe I'm weird. Na I don't think your werid. I just don't like the way "cute" is portrayed. Link to post Share on other sites
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