Author Kamille Posted February 22, 2007 Author Share Posted February 22, 2007 No Crazy Eddie you aren't weird you sound very nice and grounded. See Kamille the really nice guys go for your type. Let your friend have those "bad boy" types. Interesting since I do have a tendency to fall for extremely nice guys... That being said - scenario: at the bar, this one complete stranger walks up to my friend and starts to chat her up. That hardly ever happens to me. So, are we drawing a theory that would say: nice guys go for cute girls, but won't approach them in bars unless given a lot of incentive? Do nice guys approach girls in bars? If so, how do they do it? (I often get chatted up sureptiously, you know, joking about something irrelevant - it's rarely a clear-cut situation where I can definitely tell the guy is hitting on me). Link to post Share on other sites
ahsumgurl909 Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Self-confidence is a good start. I am attracted to a woman who carries herself well, takes pride in her appearance and isn't full of herself. She doesn't have to be overly attractive but she does have to stand up for herself and make herself count.[/quote "12345678910" :) Link to post Share on other sites
Salicious Crumb Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Another question then... Why is it that when in a bar situation, guys (strangers) are more likety to approach the 'hot' chick and not the cute and oh so adorable one? Not me...I'll take cute and adorbale any day!! Link to post Share on other sites
Steaminx Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 When I met my GF the first thing I noticed was her smile. Before I knew anything about her she smiled and I melted. I thought she was so pretty. I guess that's what pulled me toward her at first. Link to post Share on other sites
Noos Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Kamille The situation with your hot friend is very difficult for girls and is going to thwart your dating opportunities. I agree with your views on cute - it's as meaningless as "nice". I'm a very nice girl, funnier and more independent than MY hot girl, yet no one wants to date me. You get the picture... So, in the interests of preserving your self-esteem: By all means, continue to go out to bars with your friend but also go out to places where you can meet guys without her sometimes. With regard to becoming more appealing - smile more, get your eyebrows shaped by an expert, update your haircut, dress slightly better than those girls around you, don't feel pressured to talk when you really have nothing to say (let the other person do some of the work to cover awkward silences). Finally, if guys do come up to your friend and talk to her but not you, excuse yourself and go talk to other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 23, 2007 Share Posted February 23, 2007 Will you ladies stop with this "I'm cute, therefore I'm not hot" thing? You are hot. You just have to believe it. I've been called cute all my life but I've also been called hot, beautiful, sexy and gorgeous and I'm not even close to being this way. I'm attractive but nothing spectacular. I do get chatted up by strangers quite often, during work hours or play time. No, I don't wear low cut tops or teeny-weeny skirts or even skin-tight clothing. Believe in yourself, carry yourself with confidence and know you come as a well-rounded package and it will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Lights Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Another question then... Why is it that when in a bar situation, guys (strangers) are more likety to approach the 'hot' chick and not the cute and oh so adorable one? I can't answer with regards to the bar scene (I hate nightlife with a passion), but IMO the concepts of hot vs. cute vs...etc. aren't necessarily mutually exclusive nor necessarily diametric opposites of some kind. People have different forms of charm in my opinion, and most of us are multifaceted unless we're acting on someone else's orders not to be. I'm also sure that you as a person may yourself vary with the time and place; sometimes you may feel more/less friendly, more/less sexually expressive, and so on with feeling more or feeling less of any given trait that applies to you in situations wherein you're comfortable enough to socialize happily. Although at a certain age range, in situations like bars where tribalism is very strong and alcohol often considered a requisite ritual, people may (if they actually dare speak to someone out of their tribe while not under orders) approach those who would best impress their present co-tribalists (i.e. those who may feel a need to show off may rush for the arm candy while their liquid courage hasn't yet run out) and thus may rush for the conventionally "hot" women at all costs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted March 12, 2007 Author Share Posted March 12, 2007 Thanks Lights! That actually makes sense. And I've proven to myself the theory that it is all about attitude. The weekend after I started this thread, I did manage to meet a few interesting guys. Mostly thanks to the fact that I stopped comparing myself to my friend, tuned out her constant monologue about how hot she is, and concentrated on having fun. And being cute. So, Trialbyfire - I agree with you. Enough already! I am hot. When I feel like it. Like Lights said. Right now all I feel like is getting through my ever-expanding work to-do list before I leave for vacation at the end of March. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Thanks Lights! That actually makes sense. And I've proven to myself the theory that it is all about attitude. The weekend after I started this thread, I did manage to meet a few interesting guys. Mostly thanks to the fact that I stopped comparing myself to my friend, tuned out her constant monologue about how hot she is, and concentrated on having fun. And being cute. So, Trialbyfire - I agree with you. Enough already! I am hot. When I feel like it. Like Lights said. Right now all I feel like is getting through my ever-expanding work to-do list before I leave for vacation at the end of March. It was my pleasure because it's true. Hotness is a state of mind. Oooh, a vacation. Hope it's to somewhere hot... Link to post Share on other sites
Toni_no12002 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Ive always got confused when a man says someone is hot and someone is cute.Quite a few men have said say pamela anderson is hot and say jennifer anniston is cute or pretty.I dont really think pamela anderson is that pretty or good looking.Or is that just because im a woman?Maybe its about her attitude. Would men find someone who isnt that pretty hot? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 I can't put my finger on what makes a woman hot or what makes a woman cute. Truthfully most of the women that men fawn over I don't find hot at all. I notice in many settings how many men drool over women that look at them like bugs while these women don't impress me at all. I never found Pamela Anderson or the old Britney Spears to be that hot but many men think they are the hottest women they have seen but somebody like Eva Longoria on the other hand is very hot to me. I think it has to do with the fact that Eva comes across as somebody I would enjoy being around while the other two are not. Despite her looks she comes across as very down to earth in interviews. She is both cute and hot which to me is a perfect package. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Looks are the only thing I care about. Before you talk to me have a look in the mirror and make sure you're hot enough. I don't want to have to hurt you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 woah what the? The title of this thread just got edited by the moderators... why would that happen? so Johan, according to your logic all it takes to be hot is one look in the mirror? I can do that! I can do that in my pyjamas, hair all dishevelled and mascara racoon eyes to complete the look ! I am hot! Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I dont see the reason for the debate over hot and cute, each are unique in their own way. If you're the cute type then so be it, if you're the hot type so be it...why work against your personality if it is who you are? Personally I've always been attracted to the cute types...dont know why i just am. The cute ones just have something unique about them such as a certain mystery and indescribable loveable personality - perhaps its the babyface? who knows The difference between hot and cute is mainly one's personality and on occassion a combination of physique. Link to post Share on other sites
BentSpine Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 For me: Cute = Pleasant face. Kissing will be no problem. Hot = Arousing body, which in my case means the woman's waist is 2/3 of her hips. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 My question is linked to another one: how important is self-confidence? You're trying to determine if it's not her looks, but her confidence that the guy who doesn't know her was attracted to. Unless she acted like a complete sicko, it's her looks that attract men to approach her. He didn't say he would marry her, he just said he would go out with her. In the initial contact, men do pay a lot of attention to looks. But thankfully, looks is not all they care about. I watched a stupid, but fun show on Fox Reality the other day. It was about a guy who meets 3 girls and has to pick one of them for a vacation on Hawaii. The guy was superficial and empty-headed like you wouldn't believe. Out of the three girls, two were dumb like trucks and slutty and one was a nice girl. All people included in the show were good-looking. Well the guy liked the two dumb girls and was COMPLETELY turned off by the nice girl. He said there was no spark for her whatsoever. But you should really see the two cheap girls - everything from their behavior to their looks, hair, make-up, clothes, manners, and to what they were saying was a parody of human nature... My point is: Simili similis gaudet - like attracts alike. A good-looking woman can very much turn off a guy who can be bothered by her depth of mind (like in the case above). I am turned off with digust by hot guys who are empty-headed (like the guy from the show). Unfortunately, men don't easily close their eyes to physical appearence, but if they get to know your personality and if you're a charming, upbeat, well-mannered, sweet, and nice person - the right guy will see your beauty in many ways. I can relate and understand that you feel intimidated by your friend's looks, but this is just nature's trap of rivalry for the purpose of reproduction; in reality your life will not be any better or worse because your friend is hot. When you meet the right person for YOU (if you're single), he will not go for your friend, but for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Clair Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Looking hot doesn't equal to looking slutty. Why not try to look hot? It's easy. Long blond hair (if you have a fair skin), red lipstick, jewelry, feminine clothes of some pleasant colour, that shows you have a waist, skirt knee length and heels. This would be a classic sexy look. Link to post Share on other sites
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