Woggle Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 This is not another one of my woman bashing threads but this is something I was pondering. Today I came across a keychain that says the only time a woman manages to change a man is when he is a baby. What I wonder is why some women feel the need to change a man in the first place. Why don't they just find a man who is already what they want and find happiness with him instead of frustrating themselves with a man who will never become what they want him to be. I don't think there has ever been a successful example of a woman who nagged a man into her ideal yet so many women trying to do it. What I love about my wife is that she accepts me for who I am and doesn't try to change me. I was clear from the start that I am who I am and if she wants something different she can look elsewhere. Women would save themselves a whole lot of stress if they accepted men for who we are. Link to post Share on other sites
Ripples Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Certainly sounds like another woman bashing thread. How about; because men become something different once they get into a serious relationship and women want to change them back to how they were. I bet that's too subtle. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Woggle, both couples while together, change and grow. And, there's nothing wrong with trying to get someone to do the little changes...It's called compromising. Link to post Share on other sites
milvushina Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 I hate people that try to change other people. Of course it's not just women. My exH nagged me about everything. Picking at me almost all the time. And throwing a fit until I acted the way he wanted. They are insecure and neurotic and feel that everything is out of their control, so they try to make themselves feel less helpless by taking control of the relationship and the other person. I really have issues with people who act like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 In my own personal and irrelevant opinion, I think the opinion that "I am a man and no one can change me" is a cop out. As humans, we should always be striving to improve and adapt. Men who refuse to do this at the request of a - god forbid - woman are simply stunting their personal growth due to their stubbornness and pride. Granted, not all women warrant a change or evolution in behavior, but many do. If the behavior of issue is important and maybe even *shudder* appropriate, why not put in some effort to change it? If nothing else, it makes you more attractive to other women after you dump the nagging wh*re :D But seriously, we should never stop growing and changing for things that are worthwhile. Link to post Share on other sites
justagirlforever Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Woggle, you certainly keep pushing those buttons. Especially with the title where you make it sound like "all" women I personally wouldn't want to change someone. Why? Why be with them in the first place if that's not the person you want to be with? Surely one falls in love with someone you're actually attracted to for certain reasons? However that said - in a loving, evolving, working relationship; a couple grow together. And also (often unknowingly) teach each other to see things about themselves / the other, they may never have been aware of. And those changes generally happen for the best. Of course we all change during the course of our lives. We don't stay kids forever. But that course is determined by each individual alone. Not everyone and not all women are control freaks. I sincerely hope that one day you can let go of that blinding belief you have and not come across as such a negative pessimist Link to post Share on other sites
Storyrider Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 What if you met Scarlett Johannsen (or sexy woman of your preference) and she was also kind, smart, wanted to date you, really liked you, but she had nose hair sticking out of her nose or dandruff? Wouldn't you be tempted to go for it and just plan on telling her to trim her nostrils and buying her some Head 'n Shoulders? Link to post Share on other sites
Mustang Sally Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 In my own personal and irrelevant opinion, I think the opinion that "I am a man and no one can change me" is a cop out. As humans, we should always be striving to improve and adapt. Men who refuse to do this at the request of a - god forbid - woman are simply stunting their personal growth due to their stubbornness and pride. Granted, not all women warrant a change or evolution in behavior, but many do. If the behavior of issue is important and maybe even *shudder* appropriate, why not put in some effort to change it? If nothing else, it makes you more attractive to other women after you dump the nagging wh*re :D But seriously, we should never stop growing and changing for things that are worthwhile. Thank you, Krytellan, for the above post. I couldn't have put it better, though, after reading several sophomoric posts on LS today, I've been trying to think of how to say what you just did. Some folks need to get over the "woman vs man" stereotypes and just try to be decent human beings and surround themselves with other decent human beings, male or female. Geez! Link to post Share on other sites
Road Rage Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Why do people play the lottery? Same with women, because one out of sixty million men actually does change just as one out of sixty million will win the lottery. You gotta play to win;) Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 mostly, it's a cause and effect thing. If he cleans up his act, he'll start thinking about his behavior, which, in turn will help improve his relationship with his GF/wife. a savvy wife will know how to do this in a manner that is undetectable, and therefore non-threatening to her man! :laugh: :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy Eddie Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Why do women try to change men? Because they're not happy with things that they thought they'd be happy with. Why are men so resistant to making changes that their women would like? Because they're afraid of getting friendzoned, cut off from sex, and dumped. If the man always gives in to the woman, she'll lose respect for him and stop being attracted to him, and eventually leave so that she can have sex with someone that actually turns her on. But if he never gives in even when he's in the wrong and being a jerk, she'll eventually get fed up with living with a jerk and leave. So when she asks him to make a change, he'll automatically ask himself "is she just testing me, or does she really need me to make a change so we can get along?" Sometimes he'll come up with the wrong answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Lest we forget, during the first 3 - 6 months in a relationship, both men and women are on their best behaviour and many times pretend to be something they're not. I think this happens more in men than women, so women are kind of bewildered when the real person comes through. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted February 21, 2007 Share Posted February 21, 2007 Woggle, both couples while together, change and grow. And, there's nothing wrong with trying to get someone to do the little changes...It's called compromising. Yes, this is very true. For someone to say that they will never change for a woman is the type that is probably a little too stubborn for their own good. LS never seems to run out of women bashing and women generalization threads. Link to post Share on other sites
luvstarved Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Well let's see if I can start something with my theory... The reason that it seems so stereotypical for women to want to change men and not the reverse is: Men resist change and women's attempts to make them. Women welcome change and growth and so you simply do not HEAR women complaining about men trying to change them. Let me repeat that: Men are insensitive stubborn clods! LOL Relax I am just kidding. Honestly, anybody can try to change anybody, but the only one you have any hope of causing change in is yourself. Change can be good and sometimes necessary to the health of a relationship, but yeah that nagging thing doesn't really work. Which makes it difficult when the change is essential! My H has an attitude of "I'm OK YOU have issues" and has often even in the same breath, said things like "I am who I am" then "you need to make some changes". In our case, we both have changes we need to make and are wrestling with that whole resentment angle. We are in counseling and that is helping...but sometimes your SO is the LAST person who can inspire change in you... Link to post Share on other sites
CynicalP Posted February 22, 2007 Share Posted February 22, 2007 Well let's see if I can start something with my theory... Men resist change and women's attempts to make them. Women welcome change and growth and so you simply do not HEAR women complaining about men trying to change them. I agree this this, Women just love to change. They are very dynamic in nature probably due to their monthly cycle. Men typical resist change maybe due to possessing a steady hormonal state. I hate change for the sake of change. I like concepts such as being comfortable and constant. That's my 10 cent theory. Link to post Share on other sites
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