Help! Am I being to selfish

[Willi]

I'm married and have been for 8 years. We have had our ups and downs but we have two wonderful little girls 3 1/2 & 2 and my wife and I love each other dearly.

 

She has endodemetriosis and we have been fortunate to have two children. We have had our share of miscarriges and now we are pregnant again.

 

We are both hopeful that her pregnancy will go to term but we recently had an ultrasound and they are saying it is 50 / 50 that either it is a blighted or it may just be to early to tell. We have to wait another week to find out by having another ultrasound.

 

On to my predicament - I love college football - I have season tickets to my alma matter and I have been given an additional two tickets - 50 yard line for a home game tommorrow - hour 1/2 away.

 

I thought it would be great if my wife went with me - get her mind off of things and she agreed if we could find a baby sitter. We have been unable to find one and now she is saying that I'm selfish and don't care about her situation if I go and take our oldest daughter with me to the game. She also says that it would make her a nervous wreck if I take our oldest girl - she would worry about me looking after her. Where is the TRUST HERE!

 

AND

 

AM I being Selfish?

[butterflyz]

about the game or trust in taking care of your daughter.

 

the issue is that she is scared period. she is scared about the baby, she is scared about you and her, etc.

 

try to take a look at the bigger picture here. i know you love your football, but there will always be another game. you don't know if this baby will make it and you don't know what kind of damage you'll be doing to her that weekend emotionally.

 

i guess your decision needs to be based on the bigger picture, not the game.

[Willi]

I'm rereading my message and your reply - I feel pretty selfish! The Endodametriosis thing has been tuff on both of us most of all her of course.

 

She was going to have a historectomy at the beginning of the year and then the good Lord had other plans.

 

I'm praying that everthing will be OK but it may not be meant-to-be.

 

I know it is tough on both of us having to wait a week to find out.

 

Thank you for your insight.

[Tony T]

This has nothing to do with trust. Your wife is going through a very difficult period right now and she is burdened with a great deal of stress.

 

She is not only worried about her oldest child...she is worried about everything. She has got a lot resting on her shoulder. I seriously doubt she would have enjoyed the football game had you found a babysitter and she went with you.

 

Under ordinary circumstances, it would be unreasonable for her to take the attitude that she has taken. But right now she needs you to be understanding. Be kind and gentle to her. Don't make big issues out of things.

 

This football game won't even be a microscopic blip on your memory's radar screen in a week or two. It just isn't important at all compared to what your wife is going through.

 

All the above having been said, try to be more undertanding of what your wife is experiencing and govern yourself accordingly.

[Willi]

I really, really, really appreciate the insight and advice. It really helps to ask these type of things - I only wiish I would of thought this through before acting the way I did.

 

I just hope red roses and a back rub will get me out of the doghouse.

 

Thanks again.

 

Willi

[butterflyz]

it's nice to know that you have insight.

 

i was married to a sports fanatic. he would've let me face surgery alone versus missing a game.

[Ally Boo]

But seriously, think about what your life will be like 5 years down the road. Do you REALLY think that going to that football game would be THAT big of a deal? Probably not. Be with your wife, she obviously REALLY needs you.