I thought I would never do this, but here I am

[LN99]

I just started talking to an ex bf of mine again.

 

Our history: We met off of yahoo and met in person a little over 2 yrs ago. We hit it off really well(he lived like 5 min from me). We both had similiar interests and he lost his dad around the same time I lost mine. Its like we really connected and all was great. He had some other issues he was dealing with, so things didn't work out relationship wise. We did remain friends though. He moved 8 hrs away and we still kept in contact during this time.

 

Fast forward to now. Im in school full time and he moved a bit closer (3 hrs away) to be near his family. We started talking again on a regular basis and he confessed to me that he still wants to be with me. I agree that I would like to give things a try again but the biggest issue is the distance. 3 hrs apart isn't all that bad, but Im in school full time and I can't seem to get away more then a day to go and see him. He is establishing himself in the town he lives in and looking for a job etc. So, its kinda hard for him as well. We are planning to get together soon though. In the meantime we have been talking on the net everyday and we also both have webcams, so that helps. But, its still not the same.

 

How do you guys do it? How do you keep things going? I'm content with things now, but I just never had a relationship that was long distance. Up until recently, I thought they were pointless. But since he confessed his feelings for me and wanted to give it a try again, it just got me to wondering what if? He talked about how he sees us together in the future(when Im done with school etc). How he wants a family eventually...w/ me.etc. This kinda took me by surprise, but that is what he says he realized during our time apart. I just don't know if I should go for it or not? I don't know how well this would all work out. Should I just go with the flow?

[Sweetie2007]

I just started talking to an ex bf of mine again.

 

Our history: We met off of yahoo and met in person a little over 2 yrs ago. We hit it off really well(he lived like 5 min from me). We both had similiar interests and he lost his dad around the same time I lost mine. Its like we really connected and all was great. He had some other issues he was dealing with, so things didn't work out relationship wise. We did remain friends though. He moved 8 hrs away and we still kept in contact during this time.

 

Fast forward to now. Im in school full time and he moved a bit closer (3 hrs away) to be near his family. We started talking again on a regular basis and he confessed to me that he still wants to be with me. I agree that I would like to give things a try again but the biggest issue is the distance. 3 hrs apart isn't all that bad, but Im in school full time and I can't seem to get away more then a day to go and see him. He is establishing himself in the town he lives in and looking for a job etc. So, its kinda hard for him as well. We are planning to get together soon though. In the meantime we have been talking on the net everyday and we also both have webcams, so that helps. But, its still not the same.

 

How do you guys do it? How do you keep things going? I'm content with things now, but I just never had a relationship that was long distance. Up until recently, I thought they were pointless. But since he confessed his feelings for me and wanted to give it a try again, it just got me to wondering what if? He talked about how he sees us together in the future(when Im done with school etc). How he wants a family eventually...w/ me.etc. This kinda took me by surprise, but that is what he says he realized during our time apart. I just don't know if I should go for it or not? I don't know how well this would all work out. Should I just go with the flow?

 

I'm not really sure if my story will be of much help, but I will try to give you a breif summary of how my LDR started, and has progressed, maybe that will help you decide, or at least give you another situation.

 

My boyfriend (lets call him H. for now) and I met on ICQ at the end of 2004. By the end of January 2005 we both realized there was something between us, even though all we had was webcam's and Mic's. He lives in Germany, and me in the USA, 5000 miles apart. We soon made plans to meet, he came to the US for one month in the summer of 2005. We made plans for me to go to Germany January 2006, but I had no money, because of full time college, and working, and just general expences, I couldn't afford to go in January. Plans changed, and changed again. We went through some rough spots in spring/summer 2006, but made it through okay. Basically we talk on the messengers, mostly ICQ, and use Skype for webcam and mic. I finally was able to fly to Germany in December 2006. I've been here in Germany for the past 2 months, and will return to the USA at the end of March. Our relationship in the beginning was very iffy, he had never had an LDR, and I was just getting out of one, plus there was a guy in my town who liked me, although I didn't like him as more than friends. H. was supportive, but didn't want anything serious until we really knew each other. I agreed. Basically we just roll with the punches, when I'm home, I go to school (college, at a small community college) full time, plus work full time. The relationship really wasn't much the last 6 months before I came here, we talked, but neither of us were as strongly attached, of course it was 16-17 months apart, so of course it wasn't the same as if we were physically together. H. is going to school also, and work. The European system is different than the states, so work and school are connected, he's a trainee, working 3/4 days a week, and classes 1/2 days a week. It's stressful for both of us, trying to arrange the time difference, plus homework and other things to do, life in general.

 

So fastforward to 2, close to 2.5 years after meeting... the relationship is pretty serious. Like I said, we're together now, and I'm going back to the states for 4 months to work, then most likely back here for at least a month at the end of the summer. We're just planning to get together whenever possible, and trying not to make it more than 6-8 months apart. It's hard, especially for me, being the girl and more emotional than him. I get 100% attached to him, and 100% used to being with him, and then the ariport and goodbye's again... he's easier at hiding his feelings, at least the negitive ones, but that's a guy thing. It's getting to the point now though, that we've been together long enough to know that we want more than just 2-3 visits a year, but the problem is the huge ass OCEAN inbetween us! The thing is, I don't speak German, so the odds of me getting a job here, are slim to none - and until May he's not done school, then when he is done he has no money, so can't move to the states... you get the picture?

 

Basically what I'm telling you is that a LDR can be a lot of fun. I mean, take mine, I got the chance of a lifetime to spend 3 months in Germany, with the man I love, driving around seeing castles, hiking the Barvarian Alps, going to Carnival in Munich, exc. exc. Nobody else that I know from the states had gotten to do those things. So a LDR can be very positive, and lots of fun. But there are bad points too...and you have to remember that... keep an open mind...and communication is key! If you can't talk to each other about everything, then the relationship won't be as great as you might want it to be... when all there is in a relationship is communication, it has to be good!

 

 

I hope I've helped, sorry it's so long, but maybe you can draw some conclusions from this, and decide what's best for you.

[LN99]

I'm not really sure if my story will be of much help, but I will try to give you a breif summary of how my LDR started, and has progressed, maybe that will help you decide, or at least give you another situation.

 

My boyfriend (lets call him H. for now) and I met on ICQ at the end of 2004. By the end of January 2005 we both realized there was something between us, even though all we had was webcam's and Mic's. He lives in Germany, and me in the USA, 5000 miles apart. We soon made plans to meet, he came to the US for one month in the summer of 2005. We made plans for me to go to Germany January 2006, but I had no money, because of full time college, and working, and just general expences, I couldn't afford to go in January. Plans changed, and changed again. We went through some rough spots in spring/summer 2006, but made it through okay. Basically we talk on the messengers, mostly ICQ, and use Skype for webcam and mic. I finally was able to fly to Germany in December 2006. I've been here in Germany for the past 2 months, and will return to the USA at the end of March. Our relationship in the beginning was very iffy, he had never had an LDR, and I was just getting out of one, plus there was a guy in my town who liked me, although I didn't like him as more than friends. H. was supportive, but didn't want anything serious until we really knew each other. I agreed. Basically we just roll with the punches, when I'm home, I go to school (college, at a small community college) full time, plus work full time. The relationship really wasn't much the last 6 months before I came here, we talked, but neither of us were as strongly attached, of course it was 16-17 months apart, so of course it wasn't the same as if we were physically together. H. is going to school also, and work. The European system is different than the states, so work and school are connected, he's a trainee, working 3/4 days a week, and classes 1/2 days a week. It's stressful for both of us, trying to arrange the time difference, plus homework and other things to do, life in general.

 

So fastforward to 2, close to 2.5 years after meeting... the relationship is pretty serious. Like I said, we're together now, and I'm going back to the states for 4 months to work, then most likely back here for at least a month at the end of the summer. We're just planning to get together whenever possible, and trying not to make it more than 6-8 months apart. It's hard, especially for me, being the girl and more emotional than him. I get 100% attached to him, and 100% used to being with him, and then the ariport and goodbye's again... he's easier at hiding his feelings, at least the negitive ones, but that's a guy thing. It's getting to the point now though, that we've been together long enough to know that we want more than just 2-3 visits a year, but the problem is the huge ass OCEAN inbetween us! The thing is, I don't speak German, so the odds of me getting a job here, are slim to none - and until May he's not done school, then when he is done he has no money, so can't move to the states... you get the picture?

 

Basically what I'm telling you is that a LDR can be a lot of fun. I mean, take mine, I got the chance of a lifetime to spend 3 months in Germany, with the man I love, driving around seeing castles, hiking the Barvarian Alps, going to Carnival in Munich, exc. exc. Nobody else that I know from the states had gotten to do those things. So a LDR can be very positive, and lots of fun. But there are bad points too...and you have to remember that... keep an open mind...and communication is key! If you can't talk to each other about everything, then the relationship won't be as great as you might want it to be... when all there is in a relationship is communication, it has to be good!

 

 

I hope I've helped, sorry it's so long, but maybe you can draw some conclusions from this, and decide what's best for you.

Thanx for sharing your story! Made me feel a bit better. I guess if people can make it work with an ocean between them, then people can make it with a 3 hr distance between them.

[catrocks]

It can definitely work with an ocean between 2 people. 3 hours is definitely doable. If you really think he's the one then distance shouldn't stop you from being together good luck! It's so rewarding to be with the one you love more than anything else, and distance, at the end of the day, isn't such a big deal as people make out, and it doesn't have to be forever Xxx

[Sweetie2007]

Thanx for sharing your story! Made me feel a bit better. I guess if people can make it work with an ocean between them, then people can make it with a 3 hr distance between them.

 

Honestly, the ocean between us hasn't changed anything, except the frequency of visits. If all you have is 3 hours, then I would say go for it, you have a great chance! And the best part is, if eventually you both wanted to settle in the same town, but be close to each other's family, then the middle is only 1.5 hrs from either side...

 

good luck!