Photos on a Myspace page

[stace79]

Okay, I need a sanity check. Here is the scenario: Guy was dating Girl A for four years...Girl A broke up with him. Guy meets Girl B, they date for several months and get pretty close, Girl A breaks them up by coming back and saying she still has feelings for Guy.

 

Guy is confused...says he loves both Girl A and Girl B. Guy decides to not date anyone and try to just be friends with both. All three have myspace accounts. Girl A gets mad and calls Guy because Girl B posts pics of herself with Guy on myspace. Guy asks Girl B to stop doing that. Guy says he has also asked Girl A not to post pics, make flirtatious comments, etc.

 

Basically I am Girl B. I have pics of me and several other guy friends on myspace. I am livid that he would ask me not to post the pics. He's my friend, as are the other guys. She is not his gf, and I don't feel she has any right to be mad about those pics. She has a pic of the two of them on her page, also.

 

Am I being irrationally angry? I feel like he is putting her feelings above mine, and if that is the case, he and I should just stop talking and she can have him. I did not get mad or say anything about the pic she posted of the two of them. What do you think?

[Noos]

This girl has no claim on him and neither do you. He can politely request whatever he wants of you and you can politely decline to be told what to do by "a friend". You should do what you want and tell both of them to get over themselves. He's not your boyfriend, you have no relationship with her.

You are in the right IMHO.

[underpants]

I'm sorry, but this sounds childish.

 

In my opinion....humble as it is:

 

I think girl A wants her boyfriend back because he has shown and interest, or really that you have shown an interest in him. She didn't want him before, and likely once she 'wins' whatever broke them up before will do so again.

 

I also think it is extremely cowardly of him to sit back and let you two fight for his affections. He is probably loving the myspace wars. His ego is probably pumped. However, if he were a man of integrity, a guy you would really want, he wouldn't let it escalate to such a point. He would make a clear choice and honor it. He seems to enjoy having cake and eating cake. He doesn't sound like much of a catch to me.

 

I say drop him off your friends list and make your profile private and don't contact him for awhile. (meaning you don't check his page or her page either). That will probably jolt him for a time, but really, eventually, you may just need to move on from that mess.

 

My .02

Good luck

[stace79]

Yes, I think you are pretty dead on...there are far more issues in this whole three-person cluster-f*** than just this dumb Web page thing. I just wanted to make sure I'm not being completely irrational for getting angry that he'd even ask me that.

[Green]

what are you a little hs girl, or are you in highschool part to community college?

[konfuzd]

If HE wants you to take it down, and he asks you to, then I think you should because it is him in the photo.

 

If she's the one with the problem, she doesn't have to look at your profile to see it, end of story.

[sweetie91589]

why r girls sooo dramatic!??! like honestly WHY DOES SHE CARE! ohh yea..of course..cuz shes jealous! seriously..this girl today im kinda friends w her.. and im really good friends w her EX..theyre not going out..and i beeped his nextel to ask him a ?...no answer 2 secs later she beeps me from her phone... "WHY DID U JUST BEEP HIM BLA,BLA,BLA" ..im like ummm cuz i had a question for him?? lol u just gotta laugh..and as for him... i'd make the photo of u and him your DEFAULT! lol..no joke...screw what he's telling u..is he that whipped by her????

[KittyKat1]

I'd like to know if you had asked him permission to post his picture on your page??

I have a myspace page and i would'nt think of posting a friends picture without consulting them first!!!

As for the guy, I can only feel sorry for the poor sap. Caught between two of his "FRIENDS" who he has been intimate with is asking for trouble.

We as women can be extremly devious, IF i DID decide to do what you did, it really would have been to piss her off.

[stace79]

I did ask him if he thought it was okay to post pics of the two of us. His response was that it was okay, as long as they weren't default photos, because we ARE friends, we DO hang out and there ARE going to be pics of us together.

 

I guess my irritation stems from the fact that I understand we aren't dating, I have no claims over him and he none over me. If I chose to look at her myspace page or whatever, I have to be prepared for what I might see there. So I choose to either not look, or to doubly remind myself of my position before I get upset about something so stupid.

 

I agree with what another person said...if HE was the one upset about his photo being on a Web page, that would be one thing. But to ask me not to post any more pics because SHE is upset or jealous is ridiculous. Time to grow up.

 

It just makes me question whether we will ever be able to stay friends, because if it isn't myspace, what is next? She gets mad that he hangs out with me? Mad that I call him? She tells him she would never ask him to stop being friends with me, but she DOES make his life (and mine) miserable if/when she discovers we have hung out or something.

[LaughMachine]

Okay, I need a sanity check. Here is the scenario: Guy was dating Girl A for four years...Girl A broke up with him. Guy meets Girl B, they date for several months and get pretty close, Girl A breaks them up by coming back and saying she still has feelings for Guy.

 

Guy is confused...says he loves both Girl A and Girl B. Guy decides to not date anyone and try to just be friends with both. All three have myspace accounts. Girl A gets mad and calls Guy because Girl B posts pics of herself with Guy on myspace. Guy asks Girl B to stop doing that. Guy says he has also asked Girl A not to post pics, make flirtatious comments, etc.

 

Basically I am Girl B. I have pics of me and several other guy friends on myspace. I am livid that he would ask me not to post the pics. He's my friend, as are the other guys. She is not his gf, and I don't feel she has any right to be mad about those pics. She has a pic of the two of them on her page, also.

 

Am I being irrationally angry? I feel like he is putting her feelings above mine, and if that is the case, he and I should just stop talking and she can have him. I did not get mad or say anything about the pic she posted of the two of them. What do you think?

 

 

You have every right be angry over this, and no one not even him should prohibit you from posting pictures on myspace.

 

She isn't his girlfriend she really has no say in any of it. But, if your put your self in her position. A girl who once dated this guy for four years, still loves him to death. She sees pictures of ya'll on your myspace and happens to get angry and hurt over it. That is another way to look at it. She still doesn't have a right, either does he to tell you to take pictures off.

[Blue Phoenix]

--"what are you a little hs girl, or are you in highschool part to community college?"-- Of course she is prob in HS my guess is 85% or more of MS is high school kids the other half are adults who want to still "feel cool".. LoL

[a4a]

I did ask him if he thought it was okay to post pics of the two of us. His response was that it was okay, as long as they weren't default photos, because we ARE friends, we DO hang out and there ARE going to be pics of us together.

 

I guess my irritation stems from the fact that I understand we aren't dating, I have no claims over him and he none over me. If I chose to look at her myspace page or whatever, I have to be prepared for what I might see there. So I choose to either not look, or to doubly remind myself of my position before I get upset about something so stupid.

 

I agree with what another person said...if HE was the one upset about his photo being on a Web page, that would be one thing. But to ask me not to post any more pics because SHE is upset or jealous is ridiculous. Time to grow up.

 

It just makes me question whether we will ever be able to stay friends, because if it isn't myspace, what is next? She gets mad that he hangs out with me? Mad that I call him? She tells him she would never ask him to stop being friends with me, but she DOES make his life (and mine) miserable if/when she discovers we have hung out or something.

 

Maybe or obviously he values her feelings more then yours...... so guess what, he likes her more.

 

If he requested the pictures to be removed be it his mother, girlfriend, friend, doctor, attorney or his pet gerbil influenced him to ask you to remove them ............ you should.

 

Nobody should post a pic of another if they ask them to please remove it regardless of the motive for the removal.

 

At least that is what a grown up would do.

[stace79]

Thanks for the constructive feedback (sarcasm). We aren't in high school, or college. Myspace has been SO useful to me for keeping in touch with people I knew in college and high school, as well as family, who live all over the globe now. It's like getting a little note in the mail when I get a comment from my niece or nephew or I can see pics of my old college friends.

 

If you don't have any advice or constructive criticism, please don't bother taking the time to post. I was seeking an unbiased opinion here to make sure my irritation was or was not unreasonable. Thanks.

 

--"what are you a little hs girl, or are you in highschool part to community college?"-- Of course she is prob in HS my guess is 85% or more of MS is high school kids the other half are adults who want to still "feel cool".. LoL

[a4a]

Your irritation is unreasonable if it is him in the photo and for whatever reason he asked you to remove it....... what do you have to lose by taking it off the site?

 

Perhaps he has a great interest in the other girl and feels like you are meddling in that possible relationship.

 

He obviously is listening to her and asking you to remove it so that tells me he is concerned about her feelings.

 

Now which part ticks you off, that he puts her first or that he doesn't want his picture on your site?

 

Be the bigger person and as your friend asked, simply remove the photos.

 

I don't want pic of me up with other "friends" X's or whatever on the net either.... nor would I appreciate my husbands X's having such photos on the net.

My guess is their relationship is much more the bf/gf type then they are leading you to believe........... a friend should understand that and let them be happy with eachother.

[Blue Phoenix]

--"if you don't have any advice or constructive criticism, please don't bother taking the time to post. I was seeking an unbiased opinion here to make sure my irritation was or was not unreasonable. Thanks."-- Oh please its a PUBLICK message bord for crying out loud. I just love it when people slam others on publick message bords for saying stuff they dident wanna hear. I dident say anything insulting to you just voiced my opinion about myspace nothing wrong with that.. Its love shack not stace79 shack any one can post there thoughts here..

[stace79]

--"if you don't have any advice or constructive criticism, please don't bother taking the time to post. I was seeking an unbiased opinion here to make sure my irritation was or was not unreasonable. Thanks."-- Oh please its a PUBLICK message bord for crying out loud. I just love it when people slam others on publick message bords for saying stuff they dident wanna hear. I dident say anything insulting to you just voiced my opinion about myspace nothing wrong with that.. Its love shack not stace79 shack any one can post there thoughts here..

However, the point is to offer advice and support...the fact that you don't like myspace offers neither of those things. Quite frankly, I used to feel the same about THIS Web forum as you do about myspace, until I realized there is some utility to be gained from it. I thought "What a bunch of whiners" but then I realized I could get honest, unbiased opinions about my situation from people who have nothing to lose or gain by offering their help.

[a4a]

cool a cat fight.........

[stace79]

This is sort of what I said to him...that if he is so worried about me not putting any pictures or comments up that might hurt her, that he obviously still wants her in a more-than-friends way. He then says that he told her the same thing...not to post any more pics of the two of them or to write any potentially flirtatious comments, etc. My opinion is that if what he really wants is to be friends with both of us, then he needs to act like it, and as such no one should be getting mad about ANYTHING any of us posts.

 

I reminded him how I've never complained about things she may write on his page or pictures she puts up of the two of them. It's not within my rights to be pissed off about it as we aren't dating, we're working on our "friendship." I guess it's just becoming more and more clear to me that he is not capable of remaining "friends" with either one of us girls, because he DOES have romantic feelings for BOTH of us. His attempt at friendships is just his way of having his cake and eating it, too.

 

Anyway that is a far deeper issue...I just thought it was ridiculous that she would even call about something so silly. I have pics of me with several other guys who are friends, and none of their GFs or exes are getting bitchy about it.

 

Your irritation is unreasonable if it is him in the photo and for whatever reason he asked you to remove it....... what do you have to lose by taking it off the site?

 

Perhaps he has a great interest in the other girl and feels like you are meddling in that possible relationship.

 

He obviously is listening to her and asking you to remove it so that tells me he is concerned about her feelings.

 

Now which part ticks you off, that he puts her first or that he doesn't want his picture on your site?

 

Be the bigger person and as your friend asked, simply remove the photos.

 

I don't want pic of me up with other "friends" X's or whatever on the net either.... nor would I appreciate my husbands X's having such photos on the net.

My guess is their relationship is much more the bf/gf type then they are leading you to believe........... a friend should understand that and let them be happy with eachother.

[Blue Phoenix]

Na I wouldent waist my time.. I have my opinion and she has hers this is a publick message bord so its open to every one..! I dident say anything insulting so I have no worries its not my prob she dosent like what I had to say.

[a4a]

This is sort of what I said to him...that if he is so worried about me not putting any pictures or comments up that might hurt her, that he obviously still wants her in a more-than-friends way. He then says that he told her the same thing...not to post any more pics of the two of them or to write any potentially flirtatious comments, etc. My opinion is that if what he really wants is to be friends with both of us, then he needs to act like it, and as such no one should be getting mad about ANYTHING any of us posts.

 

I reminded him how I've never complained about things she may write on his page or pictures she puts up of the two of them. It's not within my rights to be pissed off about it as we aren't dating, we're working on our "friendship." I guess it's just becoming more and more clear to me that he is not capable of remaining "friends" with either one of us girls, because he DOES have romantic feelings for BOTH of us. His attempt at friendships is just his way of having his cake and eating it, too.

 

Anyway that is a far deeper issue...I just thought it was ridiculous that she would even call about something so silly. I have pics of me with several other guys who are friends, and none of their GFs or exes are getting bitchy about it.

 

 

well that is how they feel..... why is it so hard to let go of this guy to a woman that he has more interest in?

 

Let him go be with her.

 

It is his image and he should be able to ask you to respect his wishes.

 

Simply remove it.... let her have him and move on.

[stace79]

I said that very thing yesterday to him....if her feelings are so important to you, just go be with her. Stop playing games and lying to yourself kind of thing. Any time I say that, he automatically gets all irritated and starts going on and on about how he cares for me so deeply, loves spending time with me, wants to see me this weekend, etc. etc. etc. Yes, I know, I should grow a spine when it comes to him. Even when I get distant and stop talking to him, he starts coming around more often wondering "if I don't love him anymore" blah blah....

 

Like I said, there are lots of deeper issues here than belong in this particular forum. ;-)

 

well that is how they feel..... why is it so hard to let go of this guy to a woman that he has more interest in?

 

Let him go be with her.

 

It is his image and he should be able to ask you to respect his wishes.

 

Simply remove it.... let her have him and move on.

[a4a]

Well his game playing would be enough to remove him from my list of friends or to keep his pic lingering......

 

let me guess he is sleeping with both of you now and again?

 

dump em ........

[stace79]

Actually I can say he has kept his integrity as far as that goes. The only thing he and I do is cuddle while watching a movie or hug. No kissing, no spending the night (once I stayed because it was really late and I was sick, and he slept on the couch, giving me his room). The ex lives in another city about two hours away, and I always know if he sees her because he either tells me or he isn't answering his phone when I call. He promises that the same rules about physicality and intimacy apply to her as apply to me.

 

I have to say, while I don't agree with how he's handling this situation, I don't think he's intentionally trying to be a player. Us girls are allowing him to continue this...I'm pretty confident one of two things will happen: either he and I will get back together, or he will eventually piss me off enough that I walk away altogether. I just haven't gotten mad enough yet.

 

Well his game playing would be enough to remove him from my list of friends or to keep his pic lingering......

 

let me guess he is sleeping with both of you now and again?

 

dump em ........

[stace79]

I'd like to know if you had asked him permission to post his picture on your page??

I have a myspace page and i would'nt think of posting a friends picture without consulting them first!!!

As for the guy, I can only feel sorry for the poor sap. Caught between two of his "FRIENDS" who he has been intimate with is asking for trouble.

We as women can be extremly devious, IF i DID decide to do what you did, it really would have been to piss her off.

Hey...Yes, I forgot to add that in my original message, but after we had broken up officially, I asked if he thought it was still okay to keep pics of us in my profile. He said yes, as long as they weren't the default photo, because "we are friends, and naturally we're going to be hanging out and have pics of us together." That is really exactly what he said. His opinion didn't change until his stalker ex kept checking my page apparently EVERY day, because she literally called him about an hour after I added that photo. I will admit I look at her page once in awhile, but not every day...sometimes not even once a week. And I have yet to bitch about anything she has posted like that. I guess that just shows her maturity level.