Giving the gift of Love.... to yourself

[laRubiaBonita]

Adapted by me......

 

For every person who comes here asking 'Why is he/ she..?' 'How I can get him/ her to...?' 'What's wrong with me...?' and similar questions, you are looking for answers in the wrong place.

Look within first.

 

Real love is based in a universal truth that NO ONE can love you, respect you, cherish, or adore you at a level greater than you do these things for yourself. That the amount that you do love, respect, cherish and adore yourself is exactly the level that another will love, respect, cherish and adore you. That is equilibrium - water seeks its own level. If your SO or family is not treating you well or showing you love, then look at how you aren't doing the same things for yourself - this lack of care can be evident in your finances, career, health, and relationships. What areas of your life are a mess - any or all of them? If so, you aren't loving, respecting, cherishing and adoring yourself. Even those in difficult situations can make the best of it by taking care of what needs to be taken care of to IMPROVE the situation. They don't just whine and complain about what they don't have - they look with hope to what they will have and do whatever is necessary to get there.

 

Unless and until you are willing to put even a fraction of the effort into improving your relationship with yourself that you put into trying to understand a man or fix your relationship, you will NOT find or be able to build a strong, loving, mutually beneficial relationship. Unless and until you heal and repair the brokenness in your own heart, you will continue to choose situations and people that perpetuate your pain.

 

It is a universal law that like attracts like - look at your relationships and your life. If something isn't working like you'd like, the smart thing to do is to go to the source of the problem not the sympton - YOU are the source of every choice, action and decision in your life. And those, choices and actions ultimately form your character - and shape the quality of your life. Therefore, you and you alone are the source of either your happiness or discontent. No man, no job, no material thing will change this fact.

 

The bottom line to success in any area of life is - until you consistently do the right things and be/do the best you can, you will continue to have at best mediocrity in your love and life and at worst, deep pain and frustration. There is no one else to blame for the quality of your life - even when you get handed difficultites - you STILL choose how to respond to it.

 

So - give yourself the greatest gift of love - and the end result is that others will respond in kind. By refusing to change or learn from your mistakes, you get exactly what you have.

 

If any area of your life isn't working, then change it. When things work there is generally no conflict, chaos or confusion - no DRAMA. Life is good. Be the love, respect, generosity and adoration you want in your life - and all things will be added to you. But that change must start with YOU and nothing else will improve dramatically until you do.

[kitten chick]

Oh man I thought this thread was about something else completely. Well anyway, nice post LRB

[laRubiaBonita]

Oh man I thought this thread was about something else completely. Well anyway, nice post LRB

 

note the forum..... dirty mind !

[ilmw]

Very good post..

 

I could not agree more.

[whichwayisup]

Good post LRB. Something I needed to read today! Good timing.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

Thanks LRB, I needed that today!

[EnigmaXOXO]

Should cut and paste this as a response to every thread hereafter.

 

It's sad when gems like this eventually evaporate into the forum obsess along with some the great people like LB who have come and gone.

 

Probably a bit selfish on my part, but I hope you stick around. You're certainly an appreciated bright spot … not to mention a darn good read!

[blind_otter]

Good stuff, blondie. Good stuff.

[laRubiaBonita]

Should cut and paste this as a response to every thread hereafter.

 

It's sad when gems like this eventually evaporate into the forum obsess along with some the great people like LB who have come and gone.

 

Probably a bit selfish on my part, but I hope you stick around. You're certainly an appreciated bright spot … not to mention a darn good read!

 

awe shucks...... Thanks Enigma!

[justagirlforever]

By refusing to change or learn from your mistakes, you get exactly what you have.

 

The bottom line to success in any area of life is - until you consistently do the right things and be/do the best you can, you will continue to have at best mediocrity in your love and life and at worst, deep pain and frustration.

 

lRB you speak very true words - and I completely and wholeheartedly agree.

Sometimes things get a bit clouded though when life seems to turn into a merry-go-round of a rollercoaster ride. And it takes huge effort to just stop for a second - and remind yourself of that.

 

And you know what - to the best of my knowledge - and certainly my belief - I only have one life on this earth right now as I know it.

So I better make sure that I make the very best of it I possibly can!