Quit Smoking - the continuing saga

[pink_butter2003]

I know exactly how you feel, blind otter. i quit smoking last april and i guess i was stupid to expect my fiance to follow suit and quit at the same time as me! just like you, it made me angry that he still smoked around me; it was sooooooooooooo hard for me to stay quit with all that smoke floating hazily around me while we would be watching TV. it made me want to just give up and smoke again. i was tempted to so many times. actually, i look back now and i don't know how i didn't go back to smoking with him puffing all around me. maybe it was my pride, i don't know. anyways, yes, i was angry, but i realized that bitching about it and nagging him would not help at all. so i bit my lip and tried not to complain. instead, i forced myself to continue to be the sweet, caring girlfriend that he came to love, although many times, deep inside, i felt like grabbing his cigarette from his mouth, throwing it on the floor and stomping it out!!!

 

eventually, i started getting up off the couch and walking outside so that i could have some fresh air WHILE he smoked inside the house. i guess this made him feel embarrassed and sort of brought him to his senses coz after a while, he told me to stay indoors and HE would go outside. that was the first step. once in a while, i would talk sadly about his grandma who had died a slow and painful death from lung cancer in May last year (2006). i would tell him, "i don't want you to die like that. i wish you would quit smoking." but i would keep those discussions short, and i would try not to nag. still, we would have little "power struggles" over this issue. i noticed that if i talked too much about my hope that he would quit, the more he would smoke!! that made me even angrier and at several points there, i found myself thinking, maybe i should leave? maybe i should find a nonsmoker?

 

somehow, i stayed. i stayed strong and didnt' start smoking again. i still have not smoked a single one since april 30, 2006, and i am proud of myself.

 

the good news is- last month, he FINALLY went to his doctor and she prescribed Chantix for him. oh my God, i was so thrilled! i thought he had totally no interest whatsoever in quitting smoking. come to find out, he actually wanted to but it just pissed him off when i would bring it up. he said he just wanted to be the one to decide on his own WHEN to quit and my nagging didn't help him. ok, so now he's been on Chantix for four weeks. four days ago, he gave away all his cigarettes to his coworkers and that was it. this is his fourth day now with no smokes and i am so proud of him!!!! i was about to give up hope that he would ever quit; thank God i kept my cool and didn't walk out on him.

 

i urge you to try to be patient and maybe gently suggest Chantix to your boyfriend. you know one cool thing about Chantix is that you can still continue smoking while taking it!! how cool is that? but see after a few days of taking that, when you smoke, you won't feel that nicotine rush anymore coz the chantix will block the nicotine from getting to that part of the brain that gives you that high. it will be like eating food that tastes like paper, and that is what makes the smoker think, hmmmmm, i'm not getting anything anymore from this cig; so why should i even smoke it? that is how chantix works. go to http://www.chantix.com to read more about it and how it works. the only thing i will warn you about is the price- $100 for a month's supply and most insurances do not cover it. but most smokers only take it for 3 months at the most. many have quit successfully after only taking it one month. the good thing in our case was that his doctor gave him his first month's supply FREE- it was a professional sample and that was good of her. so maybe if your man sees his doctor, he might get a free first month's supply, too. you never know, just try it. also, remember that that will be a small price to pay for the improvement of his health in the long run.

 

i wish you luck. continue to be gentle and supportive to your boyfriend. i'm thinking deep inside he DOES want to quit, he just hasn't reached that point yet. one thing i learned is that a smoker will only quit WHEN he/she makes their mind up to. no one else can dictate to them when to quit, that will only annoy them. continue to be a good example even if it is tough. you are not the only one who has been there. i know how that feels too. imagine, i quit last april, but he continued smoking for 10 more months after that, and all the time, i was fuming mad and pissed that he continued and i hated the way he smelled but somehow, i tried to stay strong and patient. so stay strong and things will work out for you, too, ok?