Engaged but not divorced

[alborada1]

Hi I would like all your opinion on the following issue with my cousin who is 37 years old with two children. His parents passed away 12 years ago and were the only family he has left. Lets see he is married and he had a rocky relationship with his spouse. But that’s no excuse. He met a girl at the school where he was supposed to get a degree for a better career but that didn’t happen. As family we didn’t know anything till he presented this girl as a friend who needed help and little by little we added things up and we figured out he had been cheating for a long time before my nephew was born…but of course my cousin denies it and little did we know he had asked one of his brothers who lived with his girlfriend to give the girl a room in my cousins brothers house…So my other cousin agreed and big mistake because when that happened whenever my cousin was angry with his spouse he would go to his brothers house and tell his spouse he wasn’t coming home of course he was sleeping with the girl he met at school. We’ll after that his spouse left him and filed for divorce. At the moment they haven’t divorced they are still legally married and fighting over custody and assets.

 

And now my cousin is living with his girlfriend and doesn’t pay child support at all. As a family we do not agree with his behavior and the choices he made like living with his girlfriend and lying and never telling us the truth till we found out ourselves. His girlfriend tells him we don’t like her and of course we don’t like the behavior they both choose and all of them are destroying my niece and nephew. Plus his girlfriend has never tried to be nice to my family and talk to us. My family and I stay in touch with his children’s mom. However, right now my cousin doesn’t pay child support and behaves badly ooh but get this he goes out and buys an engagement ring for his girlfriend!!! Not only that but next Saturday his planning an engagement party and tells our family that he wants us to come and enjoy our new addition to our family at his house to make it official… I was like what??? Make what official…your not divorced and what does that mean were all celebrating she’s officially your whore!! I am planning in not going and neither is my family because after all those lies, not telling us the truth of his relaitonship and all the other stuff his been doing all this time…Ooh but guess what his girlfriend got sick from her appendix and got operated and he has calling us since were his only family and wanting us to go and help him and see her… at the moment I am not planning on going I do hope she feels better but I would just rather not since I don’t approve of there relationship..And now he says he wants us as family to be there and help him but guess what I know that you're living a lie but That's okay 'cause in time you will find What goes around, Comes all the way back around

 

Let me know? What do you guys think on this? How would you guys deal with this? Any opinions are appreciated….God Bless You All and thanks for letting me Vent I feel better.......

[tinktronik]

Well on one hand I want to say that it's his life and none of your bussiness . But... On the other hand what tacky behavior . Personally , I would flat out tell him , that once he gets divorced you will be perfectly happy to attend any engagement party and welcome a new addition , but that you all care about his children and former spouse so they will not be going away as subtractions , and he will just have to deal with it . thats part of being a family , it all works itself out .

[Guest]

Well the mature, adult and respectful thing to do would be to finish one relationship before entering another.

[Guest Jane]

Your Cousin is a Jerk!! Poor Kids!! Everyone who has left a comment is RIGHT if he were a real MAN he would end one relationship before jumping into another....Plus Lying gets you nowhere because the truth always comes out sooner or later whether you like it or not...

 

Congrats on your Family taking a stand and having a back bone. If you know what a person is doing is wrong and you telll them upfront and not behind their back that shows you care about the person... because if you didnt care you wouldnt take a stand and you would just brush it off...