I'm in love with my coworker but she has a boyfriend

[hmmhmmm2]

I'm in love with my coworker. However, she has a boyfriend so I cant tell her. we've hung out alone together before and she definitely seems to enjoy being with me. and she talks to me about absolutely everything and we make good eye contact and I feel like have great chemistry, and she always looks directly at me when I'm driving. not only this, but shes in a terrible situation with her boyfriend. they live with his dad and just got an eviction notice and she says shes going to try to find an apartment with him, and I just dont see how it could possibly work...but I've been afraid to tell her how I feel both due to the bf, and because she isnt exactly in a great place right now.

[schlumpy]

Pull back and shut down the fantasy movies. You have no real understanding of the dynamics between her and her BF.

 

You like her and that's fine. Never tell her or let on. Treat her just like you would any other friend. If she dumps the boy friend then you can make your moves but don't do it till then.

 

You have no idea what you are stepping into.

[Fair]

Then leave her alone it's that simple.

 

You're probably not in love with her. People who are part of a couple always seem more attractive to some people, and it's the very fact that they're unavailable. Not a healthy mindset.

[hmmhmmm2]

the fact she's taken has nothing to do with my attraction, there are plenty of single women I'm attracted to (usually not reciprocated), in this case my attraction is more based on how she treats me, her appearance, and her personality.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I doubt you're actually in love with her, but you like her, and since she's in a relationship already you have to leave it as liking her from afar. If she breaks up with the guy....well then you can ask her out on a proper date.

[Fair]

Cautiouslyoptimistic is right. This is not rocket science.

 

I swear, these days people think if they're attracted to someone, they have a god given right to try to get into the middle of their relationship. She's TAKEN.

Have some respect and leave them be.

[Maddie82]

Her relationship with her boyfriend is nothing to do with you. It's not your business. Your feelings for her are making you believe that her relationship is not right but you have no proof. Sure there is a sticky patch with their eviction but she also said that they would get an apartment together. This should tell you that there is nothing wrong with their relationship and that she is in it with him.

[ahayy]

Better just leave her than getting yourself into more complications. Sounds like she's in some kind of complication already why drag yourself into one? Go and find someone else rather than a co-worker.. I know it's tough but co-worker relationship hardly work out.. All the best

[d0nnivain]

You are not in love with her. You aren't even dating her. You may be attracted to her; you may be in lust with her; you may be infatuated with her but you are not in love.

 

I'd pull back & definitely not involved yourself in the end of her relationship or her living situation. If & when she gets herself straightened out, you can swoop in & ask her on a bona fide date.

 

Do not make any big declarations. Under no circumstances should you announce that you are "in love" with her. That will be unwelcome news indeed & she will conclude that you cannot maintain appropriate social boundaries which will make you unattractive.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Meh, she is not married yet. Take a risk and tell her how you feel.

[Big Aus]

the fact she's taken has nothing to do with my attraction, there are plenty of single women I'm attracted to (usually not reciprocated), in this case my attraction is more based on how she treats me, her appearance, and her personality.

What you apparently don't understand is that her "being taken" has EVERYTHING to do with how she acts around.

 

She is comfortable because she is secure in her relationship. She doesn't think of you romantically, just as a friend, so that's how she behaves.

 

Not sure why you bothered posting since you apparently don't want to hear the truth? Butt you have been warned.

 

If you try to create something out of nothing, you will just get hurt, and you will lose the friendship.

[preraph]

This is one of those times when you need to look at it as it is what it is.

 

she likes her boyfriend so much more than you that she's staying with him no matter what the obstacles. That is how low you are on her totem pole. She does not think of you that way. You have a crush on someone who is completely involved with her boyfriend and is going to great lengths to stay that way. Even if she left him she would not run to you. Because if she was even tempted to do that she would have already done it.