irc333 Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 I met this woman in real time...had talked with her for quite a bit, got her # and we got to talking about certain venues in the area like restaurants, parks to go walking, etc. That qued me into asking her out. She said, "I'll think about it" and then proceeded to ask me of other places in the location I tend to enjoy. We talked a bit more and she proceeded to say she had to run off and run some errands. Now, since she told me she'll "Think about it" will this que me to ask her out again in the future or wait for her to ask me out? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Anything other than 'yes' is 'no'. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted March 8, 2014 Author Share Posted March 8, 2014 Anything other than 'yes' is 'no'. Thing is though, in situations like this, I'll just continue to ask her out until she goes from "I'll think about it" to a "Yes". Perhaps she's still on the fence about it? Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Thing is though, in situations like this, I'll just continue to ask her out until she goes from "I'll think about it" to a "Yes". Perhaps she's still on the fence about it? She is not in to you like that. No one needs time to think about going out on a date. She's not trying to buy a car. Why would you continue to pester her to go out with you??? Next. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hasaquestion Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Thing is though, in situations like this, I'll just continue to ask her out until she goes from "I'll think about it" to a "Yes". Perhaps she's still on the fence about it? Nope. I'll think about it means no. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Try 'anything other than yes means date other people'. Better? Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted March 8, 2014 Author Share Posted March 8, 2014 Try 'anything other than yes means date other people'. Better? Question, what if she later on, decides to ask ME out since the ball is now in her court...should I throw the same "I'll think about it" response her direction? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Do what you *feel* like doing. If you're dating someone else and enjoying it, politely decline her invitation. If you still have interest in her which exceeds that in front of you, switch potential dating partners. This is where you need to learn from women. They do this to you, me and men all the time! No worries! Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Question, what if she later on, decides to ask ME out since the ball is now in her court...should I throw the same "I'll think about it" response her direction? As long as you're sure that "I'll think about it" means "no". Highly unlikely she'll come back with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted March 8, 2014 Author Share Posted March 8, 2014 As long as you're sure that "I'll think about it" means "no". Highly unlikely she'll come back with this. Okay, then I'll just keep in contact with her, engage her in conversation at Meetup, and ask her out a couple of more times...I kind of give it a 3 strike rule. If I don't get a "Yes" on the third attempt. I move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 As much as it saddens me to say this, I highly doubt she's into you on that level. :/ Her response of "I'll think about it" just made me facepalm. HOW difficult can it be just to say "Yes or no" ? It's hardly rocket science or quantum physics equations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted March 8, 2014 Author Share Posted March 8, 2014 As much as it saddens me to say this, I highly doubt she's into you on that level. :/ Her response of "I'll think about it" just made me facepalm. HOW difficult can it be just to say "Yes or no" ? It's hardly rocket science or quantum physics equations. Unfortunately, as of late, that's been my typical response from women. Sure they'll talk your ear off on the phone or online, even call you up to do so. But if you say, "Hey lets get together Fri night". It's "I'll think about it". or some other nonsense phrase that's "women-speak". I hardly ever get a definite "Yes" these days, so I usually wind up asking later, "So have you thought about it?" Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 OP, you're in your 40's, right? Asking out contemporaries, right? You, and they, have had a lot of life and relationship experience, right? Why is this so confusing? Take her at her word. She's 'thinking about it'. If the timing was right, she wouldn't be thinking about it, she'd be looking forward to that date she agreed to. It's OK that she's thinking about it. You do the same; think about asking other women out with whom the timing may be better. Can you come back to her later, or she you? Yes! That's how life works. Seek to invest less in each moment and accept them for what they are, moments. If she changes her mind, she does! If you change yours, you do! It's OK! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted March 8, 2014 Author Share Posted March 8, 2014 OP, you're in your 40's, right? Asking out contemporaries, right? You, and they, have had a lot of life and relationship experience, right? Why is this so confusing? Take her at her word. She's 'thinking about it'. If the timing was right, she wouldn't be thinking about it, she'd be looking forward to that date she agreed to. It's OK that she's thinking about it. You do the same; think about asking other women out with whom the timing may be better. Can you come back to her later, or she you? Yes! That's how life works. Seek to invest less in each moment and accept them for what they are, moments. If she changes her mind, she does! If you change yours, you do! It's OK! Great insight carhill, I'm at a bit of a tipping point in improving on this. Que The Hobbit Music 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Thing is though, in situations like this, I'll just continue to ask her out until she goes from "I'll think about it" to a "Yes". Perhaps she's still on the fence about it? Then she'll think you're an idiot for not understanding. Carhill is right. Anything other "yes", is no. Don't ask her out again, it's up to her now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Salvatore85 Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Why would you concern yourself with someone who has to "think about it"? There's plenty of women out there OP, take it as a sign and start looking for the good ones. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Okay, then I'll just keep in contact with her, engage her in conversation at Meetup, and ask her out a couple of more times...I kind of give it a 3 strike rule. If I don't get a "Yes" on the third attempt. I move on. And how has this strategy worked in the past? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 And how has this strategy worked in the past? It's a personal rule of mine, it's not a strategy at all. Not sure what gave you that idea. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 It's a personal rule of mine, it's not a strategy at all. Not sure what gave you that idea. Ok, so let me rephrase the question. Have you gotten dates with women you've had to ask more than once? Twice? Three times? Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 Ok, so let me rephrase the question. Have you gotten dates with women you've had to ask more than once? Twice? Three times? Yes, I have. Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Yes, I have. Ok, if it's working, great. Reeks of desperation IMO, but guess I'm wrong on this one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 Ok, if it's working, great. Reeks of desperation IMO, but guess I'm wrong on this one. Well, I known quite a few times that relationships or even marriages came out of a man's persistence. Recently,a woman I know in Meetup showed up with a new boyfriend....she said "Yeah,we just started dating...he asked me out around 4 times before I finally said yes". Though, I was curious how she found an interest in him the 4th time enough to agree to go out with him, but I am guessing he did something to create some kind of interest. I have known "How we met stories" from women to start off as, "Yeah, I must've turned him down 3 times before I finally decided go out with him" Its not uncommon. Link to post Share on other sites
ZipperZapper Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 When I was in sales, I learned that the "I'll think about it" response was an indication that the prospect had objections to what you were trying to sell him. The way to overcome that was to ask the prospect if there was something they needed to know about the product that you didn't tell them. The next question to ask was, "Is it the price? Is it the colour?", or some other question that tries to get the prospect to open up and disclose their real objection. If you couldn't find or clear the objection after three tries, you had no chance of closing the sale. Sometimes getting the sale meant simply offering them an alternative product that had more features or better quality than the first product that was offered. Unfortunately dating doesn't work that way. When "I'll think about it" comes from a woman, it means 'no' and she's just saying that because she thinks it will take the sting out of being rejected (and so she can feel better about herself). On top of that, the "I'll think about it" really does mean she has an objection to your request for a date. It could be your method of approach, or it could be that she just doesn't find you attractive, or both. And if you do ask why she turned you down, you will likely get an evasive answer. Women generally don't have the guts to be honest with men because they don't like any interaction that doesn't leave them in total control of the exchange. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 I'm just going to say this and I truly don't mean any offense by it, but it must be said. If you are trying to meet women online, I hope you're not using that avatar that you're using on this forum because whatever it is -- I don't even know if it's you or something from a movie -- it is scary and it looks like it's supposed to be your picture. It's enough to ensure no one who sees it goes out with you because even if it's from a movie, it looks like this scary mean looking person is someone you like, which is also scary. So change your avatar to one where you're fully clothed and smiling. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Isn't that the 'Breaking Bad' character? Walter White? I don't think that's the OP. That's been a really popular TV show. Here's the 'real guy' behind the screen persona and he's been married for 25 years. Link to post Share on other sites
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