Are there single people TRULY happy they are single?

[irc333]

I was talking to a female friend of mine, she's been in a long term relationship with a man she's known for a good while.

 

She is aware that I'm single, and she asks me, "Do you think you'd be happy the rest of your life being single?"

 

I honestly answered, "Not really" even though I am enjoying occupying my time with other things.

 

I recall someone blogged about how they are "happy" being single, but when they go to bed and turn off the light, that there's no one special laying next to you and that's when the "awareness" that you're not entirely happy being single.

 

She thought that people SAY they are happy being single, but it's kind of a defense mechanism to make ourselves feel better by saying that, but it's only human/nature to desire companionship from the opposite sex.

 

I'm sure we've all felt it, esp. around the holidays you see couples snuggling up or holding hands as they watch the downtown Christmas lights and festivities and you're the only one without a sig. other, you are likely to think, "Crap, I don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend".

 

Sure, you may be happy being single, but on the other hand you think, 'Yeah I'm happy being single, but I do wish I had that special someone in my life".

 

I think the only thing that makes ME happy being single (other than occupying my time with hobbies and such) is the misery I've known couples to go through during a divorce or a nasty break-up. Men getting kicked out of houses or coming home to an empty house.

 

I once knew of a man who's wife did a year long plan of divorce proceedings to sell off his expensive collections and found her and his prized items gone one day.

 

Hearing stories like that kind of help with the concern of being single. LOL

[bryceisbryce]

I think it's completely possible for someone to be truly happy and single. It depends on what that person considers happiness and what their goals are.

 

I have friends that have no problem with the idea of never settling down but every once in awhile the pressures to conform do get to them. It's more in a way that they feel like there's something "wrong" because they don't want the things that they're supposed to want, not because they actually want a relationship.

[Legatus]

I don't see why not.

 

I can't say I'm happy at the moment but the reason for that is because how I changed in general (became more social etc. - the new job position required me to change my "loner" ways)..

 

but before my ex-girlfriend I was perfectly happy. I had a good, no a great circle of friends, great job, lots of hobbies. Most of my closest friends are females anyway so the women's point of view on certain things was always provided..

 

I didn't need the relationship and all this drama, especially when I didn't know if I would stay a long time in one place. I still don't, perhaps that's the problem.

 

But since I've changed, I do miss some quality companionship from time to time.

 

Bottom line is yes you can be perfectly happy on your own BUT the right person can make you HAPPIER..

[Frank2thepoint]

Yes, some people can be very happy being single for a very long time, or even all their lives. For me, after my last relationship over six years ago, I was happy to be single. I didn't enjoy the headache and heartache that I endured in my relationships, so I wanted to focus on myself. I had time to pursue my hobbies, be with friends, focus on my career, and organize my life. That being said, I don't wish to be single because I do want to be in a healthy, loving, and respectable relationship. So I do have this inner need for companionship, not out of desperation because it's something primal. I figure it's because I'm a romantic at heart.

[Omei]

Yes, some people can be very happy being single for a very long time, or even all their lives. For me, after my last relationship over six years ago, I was happy to be single. I didn't enjoy the headache and heartache that I endured in my relationships, so I wanted to focus on myself. I had time to pursue my hobbies, be with friends, focus on my career, and organize my life. That being said, I don't wish to be single because I do want to be in a healthy, loving, and respectable relationship. So I do have this inner need for companionship, not out of desperation because it's something primal. I figure it's because I'm a romantic at heart.

 

This is how I feel now im pretty happy being single I have no need to change it anytime soon, tho No I dont want to be single forever I would like to marry one day.

[irc333]

Yes, some people can be very happy being single for a very long time, or even all their lives. For me, after my last relationship over six years ago, I was happy to be single. I didn't enjoy the headache and heartache that I endured in my relationships, so I wanted to focus on myself. I had time to pursue my hobbies, be with friends, focus on my career, and organize my life. That being said, I don't wish to be single because I do want to be in a healthy, loving, and respectable relationship. So I do have this inner need for companionship, not out of desperation because it's something primal. I figure it's because I'm a romantic at heart.

 

So you've never had moments or days where you thought, "Gee, I wish I could have someone to snuggle up with."? During those 6 years? I just find it hard to believe the urge isn't there.

 

For women, I think I could believe it, but men...not so much because they tend to do the chasing anyway. lol

[Frank2thepoint]

So you've never had moments or days where you thought, "Gee, I wish I could have someone to snuggle up with."? During those 6 years? I just find it hard to believe the urge isn't there.

 

I kind of implied it when I said I want a healthy, loving, and respectable relationship. So yes during the past six years I wanted (and still do) a woman to snuggle with, but I also want more than just that with her. To boot, I am not actively searching for it, because I am enjoying being single. But when an opportunity arises, I do chase.

[Philosopher]

For me it varies, sometimes I am happy to be single. Generally I like my own space, the freedom to be able to do what you want to do and not to have all the drama and conflicts that come with being in a relationship. At other times I do miss the advantages of being in a truly loving relationship, such as the companionship, being able to go on holiday with someone special and having someone to share your life and thoughts with.

 

As I have been single pretty much all my life, I have generally become use to being single and now largely see it as just the way life is. That said as I have grown older, particularly since I moved into a place by myself I have felt feeling more and more lonely from time to time by myself and therefore wanting a relationship.

 

I think I would be happier being in a relationship if I found someone whom I was very compatible with, shared similar interests and had a very similar outlook on life to me. However if I met someone who clearly was quite different from me and the relationship was going to require a lot of effort to make it work I would prefer to remain single. In this case I would not want to have the drama that comes with being in a relationship.

[carhill]

Comparatively, having been single for many years prior to marriage, I found marriage contributed to my being a happier single person, well, technically, divorced person.

 

YMMV, but my personal analysis is that it was the drive to reproduce which impelled my discomfort with being single in the young years. Got married, gave the reproduction thing a shot without success, divorced and accepted the results of both. Perhaps acceptance of what life provides when we plan and then life happens is one aspect of peace and happiness, IDK.

 

Regardless, I smile more today than in recent memory. I'm good with that.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Yes I can honestly say that I am happy single. I don't miss the relationship related stress and drama.

[AdrianCrawley]

It's like this: it's better to be single than to be with the wrong person.

[FortunateSon]

I am happy being single, but I am definitely happier in a healthy, committed relationship.

[Disillusioned]

When I get tired of being single, I'll go to engineering school and build me a lovebot.

[TheBladeRunner]

Happily single but........

 

OK, so I've learned how to be alone and I am OK with that, but I have to be honest: If the semi-right one came along I would not mind being in a relationship. I was just thinking about this as I sit here w/ my 5 YO tending to me and my newly broken ankle.

 

Like I said, I am OK being alone if I need to be, but an SO would be nice.

 

I guess I'm happy being single, but hoping to find an SO.....am I making sense?

[todreaminblue]

Am i happy being single ...yes if it means i am not with the wrong guy........the thing is i need to find the right one.......my heart knows and has endured the wrong guys.........taking me aside with sinking thoughts about why they were wrong........my heart has said its my time now to have the right guy because i deserve the right guy....all of me does, body mind and spirit...so until that right guy comes along ........my heart will know who it is...i will be happy that the wrong guy is not with me to stop me finding the right one....i dotn have enough time left to waste time loving someone who doesnt love me the way i deserve to be loved..which is exactly the same as the love that guy deserves to have from me.he will eb a lucky guy and i will be a lucky woman.would rather be single than to live in sadness that destroys my heart and ill dance the same without or without a guy.........with gladness....because i am not wasting time mine or anyone elses...........deb

[spiderowl]

Don't know, to be honest. I have said in the past that I am happy to be single. At that point in time, it suited me not to have to answer to anyone (well, it still does in that respect), but it didn't mean no, never. There are advantages to being single, freedom and peace being the main ones. It is also lonely and tough at times. The worst is lack of a loving and physical relationship. Some people just can't find the right person.

 

I have talked to others who really don't seem to want someone else in their lives. Usually, they are very involved with family, with grandchildren, or pets or travelling. They see a significant other as a hindrance and potential nuisance. The wrong person certainly can be. However, I still think the right person could enhance one's life not get in the way. I still have some hope left anyway.

[darkmoon]

it is peaceful to be single, and you get freedom too, I have a social life, singleness is not lonesome at all

[halfcrazed_i]

I think that once someone has recovered from some drama caused by a previous relationship -- he/she will start missing being in a relationship.

 

I, myself, have found extreme relief being single once. I'm not sure if I mistook that for happiness, but I do remember being quite satisfied being on my own. And then dreading going through the same relationship dramas.

 

I'm guessing that when people have made peace with themselves about being single (and consciously choosing that life as opposed to having a drama-ridden one because of a relationship), that's when people become "happy being single." You know, when being single is better than being otherwise...

[D-Lish]

I am definitely happy and single. I got divorced over 9 years ago and I've had some short term relationships since then- but I've remained single for most of the last 9 years.

 

I'd love to have a healthy, committed relationship if the right person came along, but until that happens, I'm quite content being independent.

 

I date quite a bit, sometimes a few people at once. There are two guys I spend time with at the moment, and I like them both for different reasons- but I couldn't ever see myself being committed to either of them for other reasons. I'm upfront with them, I don't hide anything.

 

At the end of the day, I love to come home to my own bed, my own space. I have lots of things I do that keep me occupied, I have good friends, great co-workers, hobbies, and a great family.

 

I miss the idea of being in love sometimes, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy with the way things are in my life right now because I make sure I get fulfillment from other aspects of my life.

 

I think it's really important to be okay with being alone. Being alone doesn't have to be the same as being lonely.

[irc333]

 

I date quite a bit, sometimes a few people at once. There are two guys I spend time with at the moment, and I like them both for different reasons- but I couldn't ever see myself being committed to either of them for other reasons. I'm upfront with them, I don't hide anything.

 

So are they hoping that you'll be their girlfriend some day? What "other reasons" do you speak of that you would not find something long term with them? Are you intimate with them or just end the date with a nice hug and kiss and part ways after he drops you off at your place?

 

Are they hoping one day that you'll be their girlfriend?

 

Anyhow, I find those that are happy being alone or really embrace it usually came out of a really nasty divorce or relationship. There's a woman I know, been married twice, early 40's...cute...she's currently living with a guy, but the idea of marrying again literally makes her break out in hives.

[melell]

I know someone who has been happily single for a long time, I think they have more moments of 'glad I am not in a relationship' than 'wish I was', they are 50, with many many options for partners, and have been single for 15 years by choice.

 

For myself, I like being single in that it is easy, but sometimes find myself missing the little things. When asked if I like being single I usually reply with 'I don't know, yes?'

[Eternal Sunshine]

I met a cute guy and we were supposed to go on a date this past weekend. I ended up rescheduling because I cbf going. We have so much in common and he is a hottie but I feel zero desire to date. I feel like I should try but it's like pulling teeth

[jay1983]

Holidays, valentine's day especially can be tough. My mother nags me "when are you gonna get a girlfriend" Also when I see my son's mother and her husband and I haven't found anybody yet.

[No Limit]

Hell yes. It's much easier when all you have to care about are your own matters.

 

Depends on your goals though. If you're into family and kids, well damn, that person will at the very least feel depressed on holidays such as Christmas.

I haven't set my long-term goals yet but my current hobbies and preferences I can do on my own perfectly well. Even better than with someone else actually, I travel often and if I do so alone I don't need to concern myself with having to look for a cheaper hotel so my buddies can come along too.

 

Like others wrote; if "he" arrives, sure I'll give it a shot. But right now I'm not even searching, I just don't depend on anybody (except for my mother I suppose as long as I'm still a student ).

[Eternal Sunshine]

Right now, I am married to work

 

I think some people are better suited to being single than others. I am independent, enjoy my own company and am never bored. I also have good emotional support network from family and friends. I don't see much a relationship would add. I never wanted kids BTW so what is the point?