sportygirl89 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 So in this young professional group. I sort of have a crush on this guy. I've gotten to know him pretty well, especially the past couple of weeks. However, one of my friends in the group says nearly every girl including her have a crush on him. I feel like the other girls are almost trying to hard for his attention. Do I just ask him out? I've been trying to get to know him as a friend first. I feel like he's already getting attention from a lot of the girls in the group. Don't exactly want to push anymore pressure. There's easily 20 girls he could choose from. How would you approach this if this happened to you? Guys would describe me as cute/pretty and athletic. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I would strive to be the most entertaining one and be sure I'm wearing something tastefully sexy, nothing downright slutty. When you're talking to him, put your hand on his arm once in awhile or if you're sitting by him, quickly on his knee just to show you're approachable, nothing over the top. Also, don't just focus on him, but talk to other guys. It's kind of crazy, but especially sought after guys can be really motivated by competition. So be friendly to other guys around him, not just to him. I wouldn't ask him out because it's a recipe for disaster since he may be interested in more than one of you. Give him a big beautiful smile when you come face to face with him or pass by him, but do that to other guys as well. Hey, if you don't get him, you'll get somebody!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 24, 2015 Author Share Posted February 24, 2015 I have actually just tried being his friend first. I figured I will stand out not being all over him like the other girls are. I just try to look my best when I'm around him. Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I have actually just tried being his friend first. I figured I will stand out not being all over him like the other girls are. I just try to look my best when I'm around him. Men have a 'friend zone' for women as well. If you continue to 'act like his friend', he may simply infer that's all you want from him. See if you can flirt with him. At least show some sign that you want more from him than just friendship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Why settle for being just another girl who likes him and find a different guy who doesn't have a bunch of girls after him? Heck I'm sure that you can think of a few guys that like you right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 If I really liked him, I'd ask him out. If I couldn't bring myself to do that I would walk away. I never liked competition for somebody's affections. I always figured if it was meant to be, as I walked away he'd follow. Sometimes he did. Many times he didn't but either way I was never one of the many chasing after him in an undignified way. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Why settle for being just another girl who likes him and find a different guy who doesn't have a bunch of girls after him? Heck I'm sure that you can think of a few guys that like you right now. Things don't work that way somedude. The herd surrounding this guy is exactly what is attracting the OP to him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I wouldnt ask a guy out who had myriads of girls around him i would steer way clear......even if i found him attractive.....i dont compete...i either have their attention or i dont.... this actually works for some strange reason.....when i was younger i had a guy chasing me for months......he kept trying different tactics.....he would be cool and calm and collected and ignore me completely , he was always surrounded by girls.....he was a bouncer 6 foot plus extremely fit 12 pack abs....that sort of thing.....and then he just went hard sell when the ignorance thing didnt work..... he talked to this other guy who was working the door one day, after a repeated fail to get a date....he said man .....how come she talks to you i have been trying for months to bag her ...the guy said yeah man ....have you....im dating her......the guy was rather surprised and said sorry man..... dont compete for a guys attention if your friends or whatever have expressed interest ultimately that guy is the one who will choose who he wants to approach....same with females who arent short of attention they choose the guy not the other way around.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
amyO Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 mhm in all honesty, I wouldn't push it too much. This is a tough situation to be a part of. I think your best option would be to just act like yourself around him and not try too hard like the other girls. In the end, it really is up to him if he likes someone out of the group of girls. I feel as though this situations sounds like the bachelor, but the work edition. You can't force someone to like you- he is most likely going to gravitate towards someone at some point and you need to understand and accept it. It's perfectly fine to be his friend, but don't assume anything or force something to happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Ask him out in no uncertain terms. Don't be ambiguous at all. That way you get a clear cut answer either way, and you can move forward accordingly. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 If I really liked him, I'd ask him out. If I couldn't bring myself to do that I would walk away. I never liked competition for somebody's affections. I always figured if it was meant to be, as I walked away he'd follow. Sometimes he did. Many times he didn't but either way I was never one of the many chasing after him in an undignified way. I have only known him since January. So I might give it another month to get to know him. He just moved to town from another local town. So I'm giving him a chance to get all settled down. Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 If you two have common interests maybe invite him to an event you both enjoy. Out of curiosity what about him has all the girls turning their heads? lol Maybe a few pros and cons to describe this gentleman. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I agree that it's probably best to either make a move and find out either way, or just walk away... I'd rather make a move and get rejected and know for sure, than to sit back and wait and wonder. I will say that I personally would not pursue a man that had other women visibly interested in him, but only you can decide based on the situation, whether that's something that can work for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 I agree that it's probably best to either make a move and find out either way, or just walk away... I'd rather make a move and get rejected and know for sure, than to sit back and wait and wonder. I will say that I personally would not pursue a man that had other women visibly interested in him, but only you can decide based on the situation, whether that's something that can work for you. I honestly did not know until the girls said something. But you're right is it something I could handle if I were gone and such? This group is super conservative (Church). So how would be the best way to flirt under this circumstance? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 (edited) If you two have common interests maybe invite him to an event you both enjoy. Out of curiosity what about him has all the girls turning their heads? lol Maybe a few pros and cons to describe this gentleman. He is very very VERY attractive. He is also very sociable,open communication, genuinely acts like everyone friends. He is also super fit to. I noticed there was a tiny bit of a connection between him and I. I guess you would say his personality is charming and very respectful. We're supposed to do this outdoor event in April together. So I may just hang on until then. Worse comes to worse we'll stay friends. I'm not worried on meeting guys. Only con that I can say is he's a Momma's boy. Even that isn't really a con! hahaha. If he treats his mother well he'll treat his significant other well (most of the time). Pretty much he's good at with what most guys I've found have had lacking, but he seems to have it all. Edited February 25, 2015 by sportygirl89 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 This group is super conservative (Church). So how would be the best way to flirt under this circumstance? Smile. Compliment him -- once. He already gets too much flattery / attention from others. Can you volunteer to head a committee & then ask him to work on it with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 Smile. Compliment him -- once. He already gets too much flattery / attention from others. Can you volunteer to head a committee & then ask him to work on it with you? He already volunteers in a group I want to help out in. Just trying to work on getting to know the group first. I figured I'll give it to at least two months. Not sure why he's single. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Not sure why he's single. My guess is that he's single because he has a few FWB's or booty call girls. If a guy is highly desired by women, there is a very good chance he's sleeping with quite a few women. Do you really want to be the newest member of his collection? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 He already volunteers in a group I want to help out in. Just trying to work on getting to know the group first. I figured I'll give it to at least two months. Not sure why he's single. So help out in that group. Don't focus on paying attention to him. Focus on doing a good job so he sees that aspect of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 So help out in that group. Don't focus on paying attention to him. Focus on doing a good job so he sees that aspect of you. That's what I plan on doing. I don't think I've shown any signs that I'm interested in him. So I'm hoping one day it'll just bug him since he probably knows a lot of girls in the group like him. I've shown no aspect of that minus just talking. Link to post Share on other sites
stillmind Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 That's what I plan on doing. I don't think I've shown any signs that I'm interested in him. So I'm hoping one day it'll just bug him since he probably knows a lot of girls in the group like him. I've shown no aspect of that minus just talking. Hm... I don't think playing games and pretending you have no interest in him is the best way to proceed. If I were you I would just ask him out. Link to post Share on other sites
Revolver Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 He's probably going to run through all those women 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 That's what I plan on doing. I don't think I've shown any signs that I'm interested in him. So I'm hoping one day it'll just bug him since he probably knows a lot of girls in the group like him. I've shown no aspect of that minus just talking. It won't just "bug him" that you are not fawning over him. In the face of all these other girls chasing him if you play this game & it "works" he will only chase you until his catches you because he likes the chase, not the relationship / work later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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