East Asian Men: Why are we unattractive? **Updated**

[offwithhishead]

I realize this is a controversial post. I am not trying to stir up anything here. Rather, I am seeking answers but I know that in the politically correct world we live in, it's hard to confront uncomfortable topics.

 

For every Asian man/white female couple you see, there are three Asian female/White male couples. Why the discrepancy?

 

I believe it has to do with East Asian generics. By East Asian, I mean Chinese/Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese.

 

Asian males are on average shorter and have less facial hair. These traits work towards disadvantage of the Asian male but advantage towards the Asian female.

 

Asian females on average are thinner, less hair and shorter. The shorter aspect doesn't matter much for females because girls can always date taller guys.

 

But for Asian males, we are at a disadvantage in the Anglo-Saxon world. We are shorter, less facial hair, and scrawnier. Add on top of that the culture of being studious and bookworms only makes it worse.

 

This has always been a problem and American mass media has been trying to correct it by introducing couples such as in the Walking dead with Glenn and Maggie. But the truth is, the Korean guy who plays Glenn. He would do really well in both East Asia as well as in the Americas. He doesn't look like the typical East Asian guy. For one thing, he's pretty tall for an east Asian guy. He's got some facial hair. He's pretty good looking. In South Korea, he'd be regarded as a hearthrob. And in the US, he's even regarded by white girls as "cute" and definitely dateable. Unfortunately, we don't all look like him.

 

I'm not trying to blame anyone. I owe a lot of my success to my adoptive country. It's white caucasian men who decided to give me a chance to succeed when I graduated college and had no experience. It's the same white men who date Asian girls who at the same time who extended career opportunities to me.

 

I like white girls and I'm open to dating them but I find they are not open to dating me. Mainly because I'm shorter and thinner than what they are used to.

 

I am a westernized Asian. If we ever went to war, I would die for my adoptive country. That's how loyal I am. I am well-educated and since the day I graduated college, I've had a good job and have been a good taxpayer contributing to society. I feel like I've paid my dues.

 

But I don't feel like I'm being treated fairly in the dating field. White women won't date me. Asian girls won't date me because they can find better more masculine White men. I'm at a loss here.

 

They say the main victim of multiculturalism are the white population but I feel the East Asian male population has suffered just as much. We are for the most part well-educated and contribute to society but we watch our women going for white guys while we remain single and lonely.

 

Maybe this is the price we have to pay for our adoptive country but I feel it's sometimes too high. I feel like sometimes my parents should have just stuck it out in our native countries.

[VeveCakes]

Maybe stop seeing girls as a race and more for who they are as a person....

 

Sounds like you are looking in the wrong place. I know a lot of Asian men with white girls....like a bunch, and there are not a tone of Asians here. Maybe you need a new city where race is less important... somewhere multi cultural.

[bummer]

My fellow Twinkie,

 

You're right. The only balancing factor you got is what you can do to change your physical appearance. White girls don't like you? Asian girls think you're too skinny? Sounds like most any girl would find you skinny. The trick? Get ripped. At any height, if you look "bigger" you look more confident, secure, etc.

 

And its funny you say Glen is too "white" to truly represent Asians. True, but most film Asian men look more western and are taller with bigger eyes and facial hair. Think of blacks, the mainstream hot ones are lighter skinned typically (beyonce, halle barry)... anyways my point is many many people are outraged or just subversively hint that Glen is punching WAY above his league wih Maggie.

 

Fact. Western culture finds Asian men effeminate and unattractive. Rare is the union of shorter male to taller female (my aunt and uncle). Your best bet to get the elusive whitey is find one who loves anime, was a military brat and grew up in Asia, is quarter Asian herself, or is not very attractive. Go travel back to the homeland and drag a cute Asian girl back? Remember, the fact you speak English and likely have resources makes you more attractive to a large set of the world's population (China Japan Korea Vietnam, etc). Impressive how many girls in Asia try to westernize with whitening creams and eye surgery.

 

Sorry. Just be glad you're not also one of the dumb ones. If you can maintain the smart stereotype, you are doing better than the dumb skinny Asian.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Well, from my experience with Match.com, I can tell you that most (well over half) white women will date white only, and that many more will only date white and latino.

 

So, that answers most of your question right there. I really don't think black or Indian guys are more overwhelmingly attractive to white women than East Asian men. It's not just white women though. Go on Match.com and tell me how many Asian women will date black men? Done? Good.

 

In terms of why a lot of Asian women marry white men, you have most of it covered.

 

As overall advice, I would say, really "Who gives a f@ck?" Life's not about fairness. Fairness is selfish. Who cares if you are shorter, attract less women, make less money? Life can be about that if you want. But it can also be about doing what you enjoy and helping other people, finding good friends. Seriously though, life doesn't have to be a d@ck-swinging contest. We choose to make it that way.

 

But as practical advice, I would say ... foreign women. A lot of my East Asian friends ended up with foreign women. The fact that you are American is a plus to them. And foreign Asian women are more likely to be attracted to Asian men as they are all over TV shows they watch and they went to frickin school with 99.5% of Asian faces from the time they were born through adolescence.

Edited July 12, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember

[bummer]

Reading your other posts I might suggest you have a girl friend look over your profile and suggest pictures which flatter you better? Canada is multicultural but my intuition is cities with many Asians make the odds worse. Yes women are more accustomed to Asians, but there are so many more aaian men to compete with that you have to be special. The exotic appeal and yellow fever work better in small ponds where you really are unique.

 

Anyways, life isn't fair and patience is key. I think traveling you'll find many foreign places where you'll do well. You could spend a month in China and I'm sure you can find a true love who'll drop everything to fly back to the west with you. With your last ex as experience, you can navigate the politics and culture well. Good luck!

[redbaron007]

...

 

I like white girls and I'm open to dating them but I find they are not open to dating me. Mainly because I'm shorter and thinner than what they are used to.

...

This sounds more like you're disqualifying yourself even before trying. Do these women tell you:"Sorry dude, you're shorter and thinner than the white dudes around, so thanks but no thanks" I doubt it. How and where did you meet these women and how did you reach this conclusion?

 

But I don't feel like I'm being treated fairly in the dating field. White women won't date me. Asian girls won't date me because they can find better more masculine White men. I'm at a loss here.

...

Again, how are you so convinced so as to make this generic statement?

 

If your conclusions are based on your OLD experience, then the good news is that you will find real-life interactions vastly different. I'm 40+, Asian (Indian), and had zero responses from women (30-40 age group) in my area (I sent out 50+ feelers) on Match.com. Not a single response. But when I randomly chatted up women at Starbucks/mall/gym/music-fests, I was gobsmacked to see that beautiful "white" women in a much younger age bracket would engage and flirt with me.

 

Where have you tried approaching women you find attractive? (Irrespective of their race, that is)

[Els]

Eh. I'm an Asian girl with an Asian guy in a Caucasian country. Yes a couple of white dudes have hit on me. No, wasn't interested. Nothing against white guys, I just prefer my SO.

 

I have other friends in the migrant community who are Asians, too. Yes, none of the Asian guys are dating white girls. Yes, about 20% of the Asian girls are dating white guys. But the other 80% are still dating Asian guys.

 

You're catastrophizing in your head IMO. The vast majority of Asian guys in Caucasian countries have or have had girlfriends.

 

Maybe this is the price we have to pay for our adoptive country but I feel it's sometimes too high. I feel like sometimes my parents should have just stuck it out in our native countries.

If only you could trade places with the thousands of people who would love to have the privilege your parents gave you...

 

Anyway, what's stopping you from going back to your 'native' country if you want to so badly? Presumably your parents taught you your native language at least to the extent of basic communication, so a language barrier is unlikely. Go teach ESL or something.

[offwithhishead]

 

Anyways, life isn't fair and patience is key. I think traveling you'll find many foreign places where you'll do well. You could spend a month in China and I'm sure you can find a true love who'll drop everything to fly back to the west with you. With your last ex as experience, you can navigate the politics and culture well. Good luck!

 

I don't consider China my native country. I was born and raised in Canada and consider it to be my native country and my native tongue is English. I can speak passable Chinese but not enough to be able to communicate with a Chinese native at a sophisticated level. So that doesn't really bode well for a relationship.

 

As for girls in China liking Canadians/Americans, yes they like WHITE Canadian/American men. A twinkie or CBC like myself is considered a fake westerner. Have you heard about the US Ambassador to China who happened to be Chinese-American? The Chinese gave him a hard time to the extent that he had to resign.

 

As for your suggestion, funnily enough I did date a Chinese fob girl once. She came here to do her Masters degree. We went on a couple of dates. And she basically lost interest and now she's dating a white Canadian guy. I found out later from a mutual friend that she basically said, "I didn't come all the way to Canada to end up dating a Chinese guy."

 

Girls like that go to the west for a reason (other than for education purposes). They grow up in China watching American movies and TV and they dream about their prince charming white guy and so when the opportunity comes to be able to immigrate here, they're not gonna end up dating some Chinese guy. That's just how it works.

 

 

Again, how are you so convinced so as to make this generic statement?

 

 

Indian/South Asian men do better than East Asian men. I don't mean to sound ignorant but Indian men have features more in common with Caucasians except for the skin color. Indians in theory are genetically part of the Caucasoid race. You guys are taller, facial hair, body hair, etc.

 

There are even East Asian women who want to date Indian men. To them, you guys have the best of both worlds. You're taller, more masculine looking but you've got the eastern cultural habits like buying nice gifts, being the main breadwinner, etc.

 

So we're not really in the same category despite both of us being classified as "Asian." That's why I specifically stated "East Asian" in this thread.

 

As for where I approach girls, it does not matter. Real life or online, it doesn't matter. When I ask a girl out in real life and get her number, she just rejects my requests to meet up via text. That's how it's done these days. They don't reject you in front of your face but later do it via text.

 

 

Eh. I'm an Asian girl with an Asian guy in a Caucasian country. Yes a couple of white dudes have hit on me. No, wasn't interested. Nothing against white guys, I just prefer my SO.

 

I have other friends in the migrant community who are Asians, too. Yes, none of the Asian guys are dating white girls. Yes, about 20% of the Asian girls are dating white guys. But the other 80% are still dating Asian guys.

 

You're catastrophizing in your head IMO. The vast majority of Asian guys in Caucasian countries have or have had girlfriends.

 

If only you could trade places with the thousands of people who would love to have the privilege your parents gave you...

 

Anyway, what's stopping you from going back to your 'native' country if you want to so badly? Presumably your parents taught you your native language at least to the extent of basic communication, so a language barrier is unlikely. Go teach ESL or something.

 

So what are those 20% of Asian guys suppose to do? Date non-Asian girls? Most non-Asian girls won't date Asian guys. So you've got 20% of Asian guys who are perpetually single. It means 1 in 5 Asian guys can't find a girlfriend. That's a pretty big problem. And I'm pretty sure not all of these Asian guys are losers or necessarily unattractive either.

 

As for the privileges that Canada has given me, I do not deny it. But there is way too much talk about how White people have paid the price for multiculturalism and have given up so much for immigrant families such as mine. As Asian guys, we have paid a price for multiculturalism too. We have the lowest crime rate, above average income and so we contribute a lot of tax money to this country. But we watch our Asian female counterparts go out with the white guys. What i'm saying is, white men have benefitted from multiculturalism as well.

 

White guys who for whatever reason cannot find a girl from their own race have alternatives by dating women of other races and they specifically prefer East Asian women when it comes to non-White women.

 

Also, this is pure speculation as no one would really know for sure but....my life wouldn't have necessarily turned out worse had my family chosen not to immigrate to Canada. Do you read the news? China's economic boom for the past 30 years isn't some lie. It's real. Half a billion people lifted out of poverty and millions have even become wealthy. At the very worst case, Chinese women in China have no choice but to date Chinese men unless they want to remain single forever. The expat population in China is negligible.

 

As for asking why I don't try to find a girl in my native country, read the first paragraph in this post. Also, even if it was an option, suppose I go to China and succeed and find a girl, that is one less Chinese girl for a Chinese man in China. So that means some other Asian guy is getting screwed over.

 

The main question here is, why do Asian guys get short end of the stick. White men can chose between white women and basically women of other races but Asian men have to stick with what's left over by the white men.

 

The true winners are white men and East Asian women. They have the largest dating pool to chose from.

Edited July 12, 2016 by offwithhishead

[Els]

 

So what are those 20% of Asian guys suppose to do? Date non-Asian girls? Most non-Asian girls won't date Asian guys. So you've got 20% of Asian guys who are perpetually single. It means 1 in 5 Asian guys can't find a girlfriend. That's a pretty big problem. And I'm pretty sure not all of these Asian guys are losers or necessarily unattractive either.

 

I was talking about the particular social group I engaged with. There are no global statistics on this. FTR, the only two single guys in that community were single out of choice. One of them has a female friend who has been attracted to him for years and does everything for him - he lets her carry on but he doesn't want to be with her. The other is the typical geek with crazy physical expectations. We introduced him to a single girl who was looking for a boyfriend, he ignored her the entire dinner. The other guys in that community all have girlfriends.

 

Also, this is pure speculation as no one would really know for sure but....my life wouldn't have necessarily turned out worse had my family chosen not to immigrate to Canada. Do you read the news? China's economic boom for the past 30 years isn't some lie. It's real. Half a billion people lifted out of poverty and millions have even become wealthy. At the very worst case, Chinese women in China have no choice but to date Chinese men unless they want to remain single forever. The expat population in China is negligible.

Have you even BEEN to Beijing? Have you seen the pollution, the hours and conditions under which 90% of the population there works under? The wealthy are only a small percentage of the population in China, far smaller than the percentage of Asian men whom you perceive to be suffering from singlehood. Do you think you would survive the national exams that condemn all but the top few scorers to working 16 hour days for ridiculously low pay, when now you can't even deal with dating norms being slightly skewed out of your favour?

 

News flash, life is never completely fair. You make the best of what you have. And trust me, the vast majority of men living in China would KILL to trade places with you.

 

The true winners are white men and East Asian women. They have the largest dating pool to chose from.

The true losers are they who perceive themselves to be so.

[thefooloftheyear]

I don't consider China my native country. I was born and raised in Canada and consider it to be my native country and my native tongue is English. I can speak passable Chinese but not enough to be able to communicate with a Chinese native at a sophisticated level. So that doesn't really bode well for a relationship.

 

As for girls in China liking Canadians/Americans, yes they like WHITE Canadian/American men. A twinkie or CBC like myself is considered a fake westerner. Have you heard about the US Ambassador to China who happened to be Chinese-American? The Chinese gave him a hard time to the extent that he had to resign.

 

As for your suggestion, funnily enough I did date a Chinese fob girl once. She came here to do her Masters degree. We went on a couple of dates. And she basically lost interest and now she's dating a white Canadian guy. I found out later from a mutual friend that she basically said, "I didn't come all the way to Canada to end up dating a Chinese guy."

 

Girls like that go to the west for a reason (other than for education purposes). They grow up in China watching American movies and TV and they dream about their prince charming white guy and so when the opportunity comes to be able to immigrate here, they're not gonna end up dating some Chinese guy. That's just how it works.

 

 

 

Indian/South Asian men do better than East Asian men. I don't mean to sound ignorant but Indian men have features more in common with Caucasians except for the skin color. Indians in theory are genetically part of the Caucasoid race. You guys are taller, facial hair, body hair, etc.

 

There are even East Asian women who want to date Indian men. To them, you guys have the best of both worlds. You're taller, more masculine looking but you've got the eastern cultural habits like buying nice gifts, being the main breadwinner, etc.

 

So we're not really in the same category despite both of us being classified as "Asian." That's why I specifically stated "East Asian" in this thread.

 

As for where I approach girls, it does not matter. Real life or online, it doesn't matter. When I ask a girl out in real life and get her number, she just rejects my requests to meet up via text. That's how it's done these days. They don't reject you in front of your face but later do it via text.

 

 

 

 

So what are those 20% of Asian guys suppose to do? Date non-Asian girls? Most non-Asian girls won't date Asian guys. So you've got 20% of Asian guys who are perpetually single. It means 1 in 5 Asian guys can't find a girlfriend. That's a pretty big problem. And I'm pretty sure not all of these Asian guys are losers or necessarily unattractive either.

 

As for the privileges that Canada has given me, I do not deny it. But there is way too much talk about how White people have paid the price for multiculturalism and have given up so much for immigrant families such as mine. As Asian guys, we have paid a price for multiculturalism too. We have the lowest crime rate, above average income and so we contribute a lot of tax money to this country. But we watch our Asian female counterparts go out with the white guys. What i'm saying is, white men have benefitted from multiculturalism as well.

 

White guys who for whatever reason cannot find a girl from their own race have alternatives by dating women of other races and they specifically prefer East Asian women when it comes to non-White women.

 

Also, this is pure speculation as no one would really know for sure but....my life wouldn't have necessarily turned out worse had my family chosen not to immigrate to Canada. Do you read the news? China's economic boom for the past 30 years isn't some lie. It's real. Half a billion people lifted out of poverty and millions have even become wealthy. At the very worst case, Chinese women in China have no choice but to date Chinese men unless they want to remain single forever. The expat population in China is negligible.

 

As for asking why I don't try to find a girl in my native country, read the first paragraph in this post. Also, even if it was an option, suppose I go to China and succeed and find a girl, that is one less Chinese girl for a Chinese man in China. So that means some other Asian guy is getting screwed over.

 

The main question here is, why do Asian guys get short end of the stick. White men can chose between white women and basically women of other races but Asian men have to stick with what's left over by the white men.

The true winners are white men and East Asian women. They have the largest dating pool to chose from.

 

I'd have to say its the size.....and maybe the thought(whether its real or not), that the Asian guy will not be well endowed??

 

American women are big(be it white or black)...I think I read somewhere that they are bigger than anywhere in the world....The average American woman weighs more than 170 now...

 

So I would think guys that are under.....say....5'4" and less than, say, 140 lbs may have a tough go at breaking in there...Women generally< IME anyway, dont like guys smaller than they are...

 

That being said, there are always going to be women who don't fit the conventional mold...And all you need is one good one...

 

Out of curiosity, what is your height/weight?

 

TFY

[JuneJulySeptember]

So what are those 20% of Asian guys suppose to do? Date non-Asian girls? Most non-Asian girls won't date Asian guys. So you've got 20% of Asian guys who are perpetually single. It means 1 in 5 Asian guys can't find a girlfriend. That's a pretty big problem. And I'm pretty sure not all of these Asian guys are losers or necessarily unattractive either.

 

As for the privileges that Canada has given me, I do not deny it. But there is way too much talk about how White people have paid the price for multiculturalism and have given up so much for immigrant families such as mine. As Asian guys, we have paid a price for multiculturalism too. We have the lowest crime rate, above average income and so we contribute a lot of tax money to this country. But we watch our Asian female counterparts go out with the white guys. What i'm saying is, white men have benefitted from multiculturalism as well.

 

White guys who for whatever reason cannot find a girl from their own race have alternatives by dating women of other races and they specifically prefer East Asian women when it comes to non-White women.

 

Also, this is pure speculation as no one would really know for sure but....my life wouldn't have necessarily turned out worse had my family chosen not to immigrate to Canada. Do you read the news? China's economic boom for the past 30 years isn't some lie. It's real. Half a billion people lifted out of poverty and millions have even become wealthy. At the very worst case, Chinese women in China have no choice but to date Chinese men unless they want to remain single forever. The expat population in China is negligible.

 

As for asking why I don't try to find a girl in my native country, read the first paragraph in this post. Also, even if it was an option, suppose I go to China and succeed and find a girl, that is one less Chinese girl for a Chinese man in China. So that means some other Asian guy is getting screwed over.

 

The main question here is, why do Asian guys get short end of the stick. White men can chose between white women and basically women of other races but Asian men have to stick with what's left over by the white men.

 

The true winners are white men and East Asian women. They have the largest dating pool to chose from.

 

20% of men from the bottom of every race would have problems dating.

 

It's also not true that Asian women are the most desirable. White women are the most desirable and it's not even close and then Latina women are also far ahead.

 

Also, if you think it's bad for Asian guys now, imagine how it was 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years ago.

 

At least now there's Harold and Kumar, Jeremy Lin, the guy from Walking Dead, the Guy from Lost.

 

Back then, it was a multitude of exaggerated, horrible stereotypes ... and Bruce Lee, and that was it.

 

20 years from now it will be even better.

Edited July 12, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember

[offwithhishead]

20% of men from the bottom of every race would have problems dating.

 

It's also not true that Asian women are the most desirable. White women are the most desirable and it's not even close and then Latina women are also far ahead.

 

Also, if you think it's bad for Asian guys now, imagine how it was 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years ago.

 

At least now there's Harold and Kumar, Jeremy Lin, the guy from Walking Dead, the Guy from Lost.

 

Back then, it was a multitude of exaggerated, horrible stereotypes ... and Bruce Lee, and that was it.

 

20 years from now it will be even better.

 

The bottom 20% of white males who can't find white women who will date them can go for Asian/Latina/Black women.

 

I can't tell you how many times I've heard a white guy complain about not being able to find a girlfriend and then in a eureka moment, he's like, "I know...I'll try Asian girls." And the funny thing is that it actually works. He'll end up with an Asian girl whose an 8/10 when he couldn't ever find a white girl whose 8/10 to ever date him.

 

Asians, specifically Chinese men and women, have had an inferiority complex towards Caucasians ever since China lost the opium wars against the British. That marked the beginning of China's 150 years of humiliation and it still continues to this day although it's getting better. Asian girls see having a white boyfriend as a trophy and also maybe a show of rebelliousness.

 

Chinese men have paid the highest price for losing the opium wars and for the downfall of the Chinese empire. This is our punishment. I guess the lesson is, don't lose any wars.

[offwithhishead]

I'd have to say its the size.....and maybe the thought(whether its real or not), that the Asian guy will not be well endowed??

 

American women are big(be it white or black)...I think I read somewhere that they are bigger than anywhere in the world....The average American woman weighs more than 170 now...

 

So I would think guys that are under.....say....5'4" and less than, say, 140 lbs may have a tough go at breaking in there...Women generally< IME anyway, dont like guys smaller than they are...

 

That being said, there are always going to be women who don't fit the conventional mold...And all you need is one good one...

 

Out of curiosity, what is your height/weight?

 

TFY

 

I agree with you. Asians are smaller. This works well to the Asian women's advantage since men in general prefer smaller, thinner and more petite women. But for the Asian men, it's doomed.

 

That's why there is always going to be a large percentage of Asian men who will be permanently left out of the dating scene no matter if they are kind, warm-hearted, and otherwise good people.

 

As for the saying about "all you need is to find one", statistically that doesn't add up.

 

First of all, if 20% Asian girls will only date white men, that leaves 20% of Asian guys who can't find an Asian girl. And white women and women of other races aren't attracted to Asian guys so the idea of just having to find ONE is impossible.

[Els]

I

First of all, if 20% Asian girls will only date white men

 

Will you please stop mis-quoting that figure? That was most certainly not what I meant.

 

Seriously, I doubt your lack of relationship success has ANYthing to do with your race. In fact I can think of quite a few other factors that would supersede race in your case.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Asians, specifically Chinese men and women, have had an inferiority complex towards Caucasians ever since China lost the opium wars against the British. That marked the beginning of China's 150 years of humiliation and it still continues to this day although it's getting better. Asian girls see having a white boyfriend as a trophy and also maybe a show of rebelliousness.

 

Chinese men have paid the highest price for losing the opium wars and for the downfall of the Chinese empire. This is our punishment. I guess the lesson is, don't lose any wars.

 

Anthropologically, you have a legitimate argument, though historically I'm guessing you are way off.

 

Had China or Japan assumed the mantle of England, and later on the United States (or something to that effect), then Asian people may have been the worldwide standard of beauty.

 

Then you'd have white people furiously cutting off their body hair and slanting their eyes, and making their hair jet black, etc.

 

Because I believe beauty and physical attraction is largely that ... media driven and society driven.

[offwithhishead]

Will you please stop mis-quoting that figure? That was most certainly not what I meant.

 

Seriously, I doubt your lack of relationship success has ANYthing to do with your race. In fact I can think of quite a few other factors that would supersede race in your case.

 

Yeah it's mainly height although being Asian doesn't help. If I was the same height but I was white, I'd get far more dates.

 

My problem isn't lack of relationship success. It's lack of even getting to a relationship. Most girls won't even go out on a date with me so they don't even know me. And no, I'm not creepy.

[thefooloftheyear]

It's not just about height and size. There are tall Asian men who can't get either Asian girls or White girls too. It goes beyond the pure physical.

 

Like I described in my post above, my former coworker. A white guy. 5'5. Nerdy. Cheap. He can land a gorgeous Asian girl when no white girl ever wanted to date him.

 

There are taller Asian guys than him who might athletic and less cheap but no white or Asian girl will date him.

 

 

You are over generalizing.....

 

I'll tell you the same thing I tell other guys who think there are NO women in this entire world that would give them a shot..Well...Go to a place where you may find couples congregating...There are going to be people matched up that you would never imagine if you tried...

 

Attraction is not something that one can use mathematical statistical analysis on...Its fluid...and often quite counter-intuitive...

 

TFY

[offwithhishead]

You are over generalizing.....

 

I'll tell you the same thing I tell other guys who think there are NO women in this entire world that would give them a shot..Well...Go to a place where you may find couples congregating...There are going to be people matched up that you would never imagine if you tried...

 

Attraction is not something that one can use mathematical statistical analysis on...Its fluid...and often quite counter-intuitive...

 

TFY

 

Yeah you're right. Those mismatched couples you see are often Asian female/White male couples. The Asian female is very attractive and the white male is average at best. Yeah you can say maybe they have a lot in common and the guy has a great personality.

 

But you never see a hot white girl with an average looking Asian guy. Even if the Asian guy is super interesting, great personality, etc.

[SwordofFlame]

Speaking as a fellow asian guy, sometimes you just have to play the cards that you're dealt and make the most of it. Feel free to vent about it on these boards if that makes you feel better. But that time is better spent earning more money, being more social, getting in better physical shape etc. Is it fair? Of course not, but what can you do?

[GunslingerRoland]

Lots of women find east Asian guys attractive. Height can be an issue for some, but there are lots of short women out there to go after anyway.

 

 

Also why are threads like this always about dating white girls? Do you ever try to date girls that are Indian, native, middle eastern, Hispanic, black... anything else, or is everyone just seeking the white girl for status... if so maybe that has to do more with the rejection than the fact of where you come from?

[offwithhishead]

Lots of women find east Asian guys attractive. Height can be an issue for some, but there are lots of short women out there to go after anyway.

 

 

Also why are threads like this always about dating white girls? Do you ever try to date girls that are Indian, native, middle eastern, Hispanic, black... anything else, or is everyone just seeking the white girl for status... if so maybe that has to do more with the rejection than the fact of where you come from?

 

Indian/Latina/MiddleEastern/Black girls are not interested in dating East Asian guys either. As for native girls, depending what part of the country you're from, there just aren't that many.

 

When you say lots of women find East Asian guys attractive, to what extent? Sure, the top 10% of East Asian guys are attractive. I'm sure white girls would date the top 10%. The problem is, an Asian girl will date the bottom 20% of white guys.

[offwithhishead]

Speaking as a fellow asian guy, sometimes you just have to play the cards that you're dealt and make the most of it. Feel free to vent about it on these boards if that makes you feel better. But that time is better spent earning more money, being more social, getting in better physical shape etc. Is it fair? Of course not, but what can you do?

 

None of those work. Why? Because even if you do all those things, you still can't change your race.

 

Like I told you about my former colleague. He's a white guy. Short. Cheap. Nerdy. Not particularly interesting in terms of personality or hobbies. Yet he can still get a gorgeous Asian girl.

 

So say an Asian guy earns more money, has a better physique, has tons of friends, yet he still loses to the white guy described above, what's the point?

[Emilia]

From what I've seen, many east asian guys could do with being more muscular. Perhaps that's one route to consider, women tend to find athletic men attractive.

[offwithhishead]

From what I've seen, many east asian guys could do with being more muscular. Perhaps that's one route to consider, women tend to find athletic men attractive.

 

Why is it that we must become muscular in order to be competitive?

 

You see gorgeous Asian girls dating white guys with pot bellies and also scrawny/nerdy looking white guys. Why is it that white men can get away with being fat/pot-belied or scrawny/nerdy?

[Miss Peach]

Instead of arguing the numbers, here is what OK Cupid reported when they analyzed their data:

 

Race and Attraction, 2009 ? 2014 « OkTrends

 

Now to the OP - you need to have real confidence and figure out how to work with what you have IMO. Confidence is attractive to women. I see so many men on LS go on and on about all the things they think women want. The truth is women are able to overcome a lot in the looks department when they feel good around a guy. Women will find that guy grows on them. Add that to the good education, good job, etc. and that makes you more enticing for the women looking for LTRs.

 

I'll also give you an example of someone I know IRL. He shouldn't be able to get women. He's short, underemployed, balding, stalky, glasses, old, etc. He wears tshirts and baggy jeans from Old Navy or Target so not a god dresser either. If you put him on an OLD site he would get no responses. Yet he is really good at making women feel comfortable and making them laugh. He projects confidence. He goes to meetups and he's able to walk out wih number from women 10-20 years younger almost every time.

 

Another IRL example I'll give you is that I get hit on all the time. Most of the men are very good looking. In fact one guy who is chasing me right now is tall, muscular, etc. But I am with my BF who I met at a group for nerds. He's more of a dork but there are many men there I have gone out on dates with or would have. They are the ones who can me confidence, ask for my number, call me, etc.