When is the last time you have been just honest with yourself?
I mean honest.
The kind of honesty that extends past social situations. That part of you that is fully in tune with how you feel. But for some reason or another, it never expresses itself.
It's suppressed.
Hidden.
Pushed away.
Perceived as imaginary.
We do it everyday. Pretend like everything is ok. That we're exactly where we want to be in life. That everything is 'hunky dory' or described with some other adjective
It was about two years ago when i met you. I was still pretty fresh out of college, and the economy wasn't performing well. During my months of joblessness, and a shot of boredom, I decided to see what's up with people from around the world.
It was in that place where you caught my eye. You were so funny, friendly, and warm. One day you decided to add me on facebook. I still chuckle that your reason was that 'you loved my smile.'
And you.. you were drop dead gorgeous. With some of the most
Every time around this year I take the time to raise a nice middle finger to you for even refusing to acknowledge that you had a son.
I've never met you, and when I got the chance to call, you didn't even entertain the possibility.
I'd tell you what life was like for me growing up. There's a part of me that will always be missing, and I don't know how to fill it.
Has it affected me? Oh, absolutely.
So we're here.
Things are starting to come along. There's a slight sense of progress, and it should feel rewarding..but of course it doesn't. Especially when you look at how much further you have to go.
The funny part is I don't even know what that fully entails. So many years have been spent floating around, going in no specific path, with no direction. Like a ship with no control over which way it sails.
Recalling nights where there's that feeling of emptiness have become just a bit t
It's only fair I make this the first one.
__________
I wanted to type this before I fell asleep because that's when my mind seems to be most open. I'd put it in a journal on here, but I don't how. Either way, let's go:
You know, it's crazy.
It's crazy how so many chapters in your life can all of a sudden open and close at the same time.
So many of the things you've experienced over time, whether positive or negative, finally begin to show their conclusions. You're finally
