Its important to keep ones centre of gravity within oneself, whether single or coupled.
For some people when in a couple, their centre of gravity becomes misplaced, and they 'wobble.'
Their sense of self becomes unstable.
There is nothing you can do to make her come back if she doesn't of her own free will, want to.
Not long letters of apology.
Not tears.
Not begging and pleading.
Not buying roses.
Not 'fighting for the relationship.'
Not writing poems.
Etc...
Leave her totally alone.
It is possible that she'll miss you and will want you back.
It is also possible that she won't.
Do nothing.
No contact.
No contact is about two things, and two things only:
1. It protects you from further hurt.
2. It allows you to heal without being distracted by the ex.
Thats all it is, and all it does.
Everyone is free to leave a relationship at any time, if thats what they want to do.
It can be painful when someone walks away, but that doesn't mean that the person who left did something wrong, or is a 'bad person.'
They just exercised their right to choose the direction of their life.
They might have done things to hurt you, but ending a relationship isn't in itself wrong.
There should be no hostages to love.
The purpose of life is to learn to love unconditionally, and without reservation. In doing this, we achieve peace and happiness, and a return to our true nature. Every encounter we have is an opportunity to extend love.
Love:
"First do no harm."
Those are the words of a surgeon, but they apply to relationships as well.
To profess love, whilst causing harm, demonstrates that the person speaking has no idea what love is.
One of many valid definitions of love is:
"A persons total commitment to the wellbeing of another."
Thats the bottom line benchmark for me.
Thats where real love begins.
The sadness stops when you stop 'sadding.'
Thoughts and feelings are behaviours, not something you can't change, like the weather.
When you finally decide that you've been through enough, you'll stop.
Take care.
PS: You've been through enough.
When someone tells you that they don't love you anymore, it usually means that they never did.
Real love is very durable and resilient, very difficult to destroy.
Many people don't know the difference between:
Being attached
Needing
Wanting
Love
Those are not different names for the same thing, but many people think they are.
The relationship you have, is the relationship you have today.
If you're happy with it today, you'll probably be happy with it tomorrow.
If you're not happy with it today, you'll probably not be happy with it tomorrow.
The past is gone, and the future is unknown.
The greater part of any affair is fantasy and make-believe:
"He's a great guy, but he's trapped in an unhappy marriage. He and his wife haven't had sex in years. He says he has no feelings for her, and loves me. He feels that he can't leave because of what it would do to his kids, but I do think that he'll leave her though, when the kids are a bit older."
This is life on the edge of reality, in a little bubble of imaginings.
You have to let yourself fall into your own arms.
Be there 100% for yourself, in a totally loving relationship.
Everything we experience with other people has roots in the relationship we have with ourselves.
When get that relationship sorted out, our relationships with others are simple and full of joy.
You could call it a return to innocence.
This my hierarchy of preferred communication methods from best to worst:
1. Skype.
2. Voice call.
3. Old fashioned letter.
4. Email.
5. Morse telegraphy.
6. Smoke signals.
7. Carrier pigeon.
8. Ouija board.
9. Sitting alone in the silent void of nothingness.
10. Text message.
I don't think its possible to love someone who doesn't love you back.
Real love is a joint creation.
It is possible to be infatuated, with someone who doesn't share the feeling, though.
Trying to make your ex want you, is like trying to make them eat a pickle.
"Eat this pickle."
"No thanks."
"Go on eat it, it's delicious."
"No thanks, I don't want it."
"It's a better pickle. It's been improved."
"I just don't want it!"
"I don't understand why you won't eat it.
"I ate one before, and it gave me indigestion."
"Come on, give it a chance. It won't give you indigestion this time."
"You're really starting to annoy me now!"
"Why don't you realise how
If you had a broken finger, would you try to heal it by not thinking about it?
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
— C. G. Jung
Freud and Jung concluded that most mental and emotional pain comes from:
Resistance
Conflict
and
Failure to adapt.
All you will achieve by trying not to think about this is the creation of terrific tension in your psyche.
The thoughts come, but you try not to think about them = re
I absolutely don't believe that "Time heals all wounds."
I don't think that time heals anything.
But I do believe that time spent on healing, heals most wounds.
Spend some time contemplating the differences between loving, wanting, and needing.
Its important to understand those differences.
Those three things are related, but they're not different words for the same thing.
Really reflect on that.
It will help you to understand yourself (and others) better.
Unfaithful married men are especially good at two things:
1. Telling lies.
2. Finding people who will believe those lies.
Many of them do this again and again with woman after woman.
