Learn to enjoy the ordinary.
Ordinary is good.
The intensity of affairs can be exciting, but they are something that happens on the periphery of the real. A big part of an affair is make believe, fantasy in motion; like living in a different dimension from everybody else.
Welcome back to the real world, where people are usually exactly what they appear to be.
Decompress.
Connect – connect with the people around you: your family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. Spend time developing these relationships.
Be active – you don't have to go to the gym. Take a walk, go cycling or play a game of football. Find the activity that you enjoy and make it a part of your life.
Keep learning – learning new skills can give you a sense of achievement and a new confidence. So why not sign up for that cooking course, start learning to play a musical instrument, or figure
There are many valid definitions of love, but here is one to contemplate:
"Love is total commitment to the wellbeing of a person."
Underneath that you can place this aphorism, from medicine:
"First, do no harm."
You are not the best and you're not the worst. You're good enough.
The land of the 'good enough' is a wonderful place and everything you want is there to be found.
Be bold, and reach strongly and consistently for what you want.
Fortune favours the brave.
In some instances you are loving and caring, whilst in others you are unloving and uncaring.
You love and care for your child, but you don't love or care for the person you cheat on.
You say you want to know why you cheat?
The answer to that lies in the part of yourself which you cannot accept, which you have covered with unconsciousness.
It's classically Neurotic.
If you had a unified psyche, you wouldn't flip-flop between loving and unloving, caring and uncaring.
You need to
Please do not beg and plead for her to take you back.
Please do not sit next to her crying uncontrollably.
Please do not bombard her with texts and calls.
Maintain your dignity at all times.
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You have to set them free:
"I release you to live your life the way you want to. You're free. I'm not holding you."
You don't say that out loud.
You say it on the inside.
You have to mean it.
Getting to that point takes time.
A pivotal point I came to on my own journey was the conscious decision to be authentic in all my dealings with other people.
That means being exactly the same person on the outside, as I am on the inside.
It sounds little, but it's much.
Not, "To be or not to be," but rather, "to be, or to appear to be."
That does not mean that I have no privacy. Things that only concern me, that have no impact on anyone other than me, I will keep private if that is my preference.
Toxic secrets t
We see what we see because of who we are.
What is seen depends on who is looking, why they are looking, and what they are looking for.
And then we become what we see.
You have to set them free:
"I release you to live your life the way you want to. You're free. I'm not holding you."
You don't say that out loud.
You say it on the inside.
You have to mean it.
"Always and everywhere, remember yourself."
Pay attention to yourself, your thoughts, your feelings, your needs, things that make you feel good, your hopes, your fears, your dreams.
You are the centre of your world, not anybody else.
Be there, with yourself, at the centre.
This is not selfishness.
This is self-awareness.
Peace.
The purpose of life is to learn to love unconditionally, and without reservation. In doing this, we achieve peace and happiness, and a return to our true nature. Every encounter we have is an opportunity to extend love.
It's OK to feel OK, and it's OK to feel good. It's OK even when somebody else isn't feeling good. It's OK even if someone else is suffering. In fact, we need to be OK, so that we can help others when they need us. We can't give what we don't have. If we aren't feeling peaceful inside how can we bring peace? If we don't feel the love inside, how can we give love?
The most fundamental relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. It sets the tone for all your other relationships. With this in mind, it's important to be loving and kind to yourself. Cultivate loving kindness towards yourself and you will be able to love others freely and without reserve.
*No direct contact in either direction. No sending or receiving of messages. No replies. Block any means she might use to contact you.
*No indirect contact through third parties.
*De-friend or delete from all social media. No monitoring of her on social media.
*No 'little birds' feeding you news.
*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what she is doing or saying.
They all say,"I needed xyz, and you weren't giving that to me."
Then you can get really clear in your head that its all your fault.
Then you can get really clear in your head that you're just not good enough.
Then you can get really clear in your head that you must do better.
Or, you can look at it this way: He did it because he wanted to.
Which is a good way of looking at it, because it's the truth.
All in all
Each man in all men
all men in each man
All being in each being
Each being in all being
All in each
Each in all
All distinctions are mind, by mind, in
mind, of mind
No distinctions no mind to distinguish
