Instead of arguing, schedule half an hour a week, to discuss matters of concern, before they become 'big issues.'
For ten minutes he/she speaks without any interruptions.
Then you get your ten minutes of uninterrupted talk time.
The last ten minutes is two way chat.
You alternate who speaks first every week.
The first time, you toss a coin.
Its much better than arguing, and can actually be very enjoyable
There are three very common reasons why some people have difficulty moving on even after a long time has passed:
1. An omitted or incomplete grieving process.
2. Rebound relationships.
3. Genuinely traumatic experiences within the relationship.
1 and 2 are much more common than 3.
From my journal:
"The baby grows inside the Mother. Our consciousness grows inside the Baby. What is to come grows inside our consciousness. In that sense, we are our own Mothers, or at least Mothers of that which is to come."
The only way to overcome fear is to face up to it. Allow yourself to feel the fear without trying to push it away.
Trying to push it away creates tremendous inner tension, and feeds the fear.
Notice the physical sensations in you body that come with it, but don't try to suppress them, just notice the way your body feels.
Allow yourself to fully experience it for a few minutes, and then just go about your business.
"Our search for such [moral] principles can start with . . . the unconditional imperative to acknowledge every person as a person. If we ask for the contents given by this absolute, we find, first, something negative—the command not to treat a person as a thing. This seems little, but it is much. It is the core of the principle of justice."
- Paul Tillich.
The key to dealing with anger is externalising it.
You can do this by:
Speaking about it to a trustworthy person, writing about it, or any other means of expression that works for you.
Anger is very physical, so physical ways of externalising it can be be particularly helpful. Some examples are:
Going to a place where nobody can hear you and shouting it out as loud as you can, for as long as you can.
Hitting a punch bag until you can't punch any more.
Breaking something, and th
To be loved, be loving.
To find peace, be peaceful.
To find forgiveness, be forgiving.
To be cared about, be caring.
To be treated kindly, be kind.
To be understood, be understanding.
To have friends, be friendly.
Etc.
We have no right to receive anything that we do not give.
*Don't try to avoid your thoughts and feelings. That resistance just creates conflict and tension inside of you.
Allow your thoughts to come and go naturally, and do the same with your feelings.
You will find that there are nuggets of understanding and realisation in there which will help with your recovery.
If you block the painful feelings, you are at the same time blocking any good feelings which are being formed.
What you resist, persists.
The relationship you have, is the relationship you have today.
If you're happy with it today, you'll probably be happy with it tomorrow.
If you're not happy with it today, you'll probably not be happy with it tomorrow.
The past is gone, and the future is unknown.
1. Sit down in a dining chair, or other upright chair.
2. Close your eyes, and let your attention come to your body. Let your attention wander around your body, just noting any sensations you feel. You may feel anything. Itching, hot, cold, tight, heavy, relaxed etc. Just notice any sensation.
3. Notice your breathing. Don't try to breathe in any particular way, just notice your breathing.
4. Bring your attention to the heart area, and let it rest there for few moments. You might like t
All in all
Each man in all men
all men in each man
All being in each being
Each being in all being
All in each
Each in all
All distinctions are mind, by mind, in
mind, of mind
No distinctions no mind to distinguish
They all say,"I needed xyz, and you weren't giving that to me."
Then you can get really clear in your head that its all your fault.
Then you can get really clear in your head that you're just not good enough.
Then you can get really clear in your head that you must do better.
Or, you can look at it this way: He did it because he wanted to.
Which is a good way of looking at it, because it's the truth.
