Here is what I think about the whole idea I have seen on here of my supposedly being "stalkerish", "creepy" or what have you. LS is not the first place I have been accused of that.

Some of you may wonder why I dismiss those comments with prejudice. Here is why.

I think I get that wrap because of my image as an intelligent black man who's interested in science and from suburban Chicago. Around here and across the country there are two prominent media images that people stereotype me with....Steve Urkel...and/or Ted Kaczynski.

In case you have forgotten what those images are like.

Urkel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMxavtveWYs

Kaczynski

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egRo8xhXxn8

Some women seem to get it in their heads that I will pursue them no matter how *itchy they are to me and "obsess" over them. They have it in their little heads that a man who is interested in science and technology is going to be like one of those guys.

Other science types have the same problem. We eventually find partners who are able to see beyond these things . However allot of women never see beyond such imagery no matter what the reality of myself is.

Then they see me paying attention to another woman (or man) and I end up with a crazy woman on my hands. They thought I was so totally 150% in to them just because I was interested and polite. They thought I would obsess over them and inflate their ego.

Let me give you an example.

In highschool I had geometry class with this one girl. She was a cheerleader. I had known her since 4th grade and expressed some interest in her. She said she wasn't interested and that was that...for my part. A few weeks latter I found out that there was a police investigation. She accused me of stalking her for "following" her to that geometry class. It turned out that my usual route was the shortest path from my first class to geometry class. While she was spending time in a area of the building near where my first class was that she should not have been.

In a sense she was stalking me. Stalking me and doing something called "false victimization syndrome.(google it) That is where the obsessional person sets up a situation where they can play the victim.

http://bobfiddaman.blogspot.com/2011/04/false-victimization-syndrome.html

This occurs when an individual attempts to convince others that he or she is being stalked through the invention of claims made to re-establish a failing relationship and/or gain attention (Zona, Palarea, and Lane, 1998).

 

Individuals who exhibit these characteristics may also fit the criteria for histrionic personality disorder (DSM-IV, 1994): demanding to be the center of attention, shallow expression of emotions which shift rapidly, and speaks in a manner that is overly impressionistic and lacking in detail.

It has happened to me many times and it's impact has been traumatic. It makes it hard for me to trust women. (That coupled with the fact that the other class of women who pursue me tend to be taken... some of the false victim's were also taken including the one I described here.)

I conclude with a quote from the urban dictionary which nails down how the words "creepy" and stalker have been used lately.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=st

It seems to be that the term 'stalker' no longer means what it used to mean--the pathological ANONYMOUS follower and tab-keeper of another person or persons (A detective who has not been hired and has no real reason to follow someone). The old definition also would say that a 'stalker' often has an imaginary connection with the stalkee.

 

HOWEVER, common usage of the term, along with the term 'creepy', has come to be used as a defense mechanism for anyone seeking justification for not being attracted socially or physically to someone else.

 

This term is nearly as overdiagnosed as ADHD is in children. Any women who think an undesirable man might be interested in her will almost always automatically label him a stalker.

 

Note: Far too many idiots think they're more important than they really are. Real stalkers seek out beautiful, interesting, and often famous members of the attractive gender. 90 percent of the people who use the term couldn't get a real stalker to save their lives.(These are the kind who are apt to be "false victims" as I described.)

 

A hot girl who follows you around and shows up at your door is a friend.

 

An ugly girl who follows you around and shows up at your door is now, according to most, a stalker.

 

A hot guy who gives you flowers is a romantic.

 

An ugly guy who gives you flowers is a stalker.

TLDR: The media images of men like me propogated the most widely in the last 30 years make us look obsessional, crazy, and socially inept. For the most part this makes women who end up finding us interesting think we would be soooo into them. So they go for the extra ego boost of trying to get a really dogged pursuit before giving in. When this does not materialize they react with a rage and scorn that is beyond reason.

The result of that media imaging is I think that for a large number of women they feel it would not be socially acceptable to have someone like me as their main man. Or if they do they have to feel that they made me work extra hard for it. The result being, in the most harmless cases, their playing hard to get to an absurd degree or their wanting to cheat with me.