Recipe for disaster? Probably.
I feel stupid... I don't understand my b/f at all. I know I should leave, but I love this guy and have been in love with him for a while now. Part of the reason I'm staying other than that is curiosity, I want to see what happens. Kind of like a car crash, I can see it's not going to be good but I'll be damned if I can look away.
How can you be in love with someone, and want to stay locked in a relationship with them if you don't want to sleep with them? I have spent the last couple of days toning down my "Cute little quirks" that he loves so much BC it's what he says turns him off. However then he gets upset and tells me that it's why he loves me so much and not to change. "It's your charm. "
Now we did have sex the other night, and maybe we will once a week, once every two weeks, but now that's not even the issue anymore to me. He doesn't find me attractive??? Physically I'm fine, but I'm too innocent? Sweet? Do too many "cute things"? I don't get it. I've never had problems before... Why doesn't he want me to change these things if it's what causes him to not want to have sex with me????
My head is spinning... If I were an outsider looking in on this I would tell me to run far and fast. Unfortunately I'm having a hard time doing that. he's so fantastic in most every other way. the fact that he DOES NOT want to end things weirds me out. I've never met a guy who wanted to stay in a sexless relationship before, not one that didn't suggest an open rs anyway.
Dumb head, dumb heart. For once it would be nice if they would agree on something. Just ranting, I had to get it down and am embarrassed that I'm even in this situation. I've never been told I was sexually unappealing before, at least not by someone who agreed to date me in the first place.
He told me I'm his best friend,and he IS in fact mine too. Other than the bedroom we're great together. So, had we never gotten romantically involved we probably would have made wonderful friends, but that is impossible now. I'm in love with him and would never be able to go to that. I'm going to go scream into a pillow.
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