Quoted from another thread

 

He asks himself if he is good enough in bed

and what the other guy has he doesnt...Leaving him feel inadequate and

insecure...So lets give some real input here on sex as far as lenght of time

that is normal and considered good sex for the women....If your gonna come on

and say your man busts you out for 2 hours straight after penetration..Keep

walking because the rest of the normal world knows your full of sh@t!

 

so

there is no confusion lets give lenghts of time with foreplay and penetration

combined or break it down to foreplay time then the actual act cause if you do

say 2 hours it can be normal if there is tons of foreplay.

 

There is so

much pressure put on men by media BS that it paints ridiculous expectations of

men and this makes men feel inadequate! Its especially more painful when a man

is going threw a crisis..

 

So lets get this thread going and please be

sincere...We all wanna be adonis but Bulls@@ting will never make u an adonis it

will most likely make you look like a fool more than anything else...

 

I

am presently going threw a seperation. Its been 6 months and my wife has started

dating another man soon after we seperated. Our problems were alot of my fault!

So no comments on how much of this or that she is...She had her reasons and I

will leave it at that...

 

Anyway, I always figured we had a good sex life.

She never denied me and came after me many times..My foreplay with her would

last until she was satisfied and I made sure of that! Foreplay alone could range

anywhere from 10 minutes to 25 minutes. Then once the actual sex started that

would last between 10-20 minutes...This is the kind of info I want in the thread

and to find out if times like this are actually good so I and many other men in

the same boat can stop beating ourselves up....

 

Feeling inadequate can

hurt more then the pain of the breakup itself! So lets get some real input

here....

 

Dude, that's not how to think about sex. The fact that you are making it a

"left brain" subject of analysis in terms of times and numbers is what often kills sex. It has to be a "right brain" experience of free fantasy and unconstrained indulgment of contributing feeling and thoughts to lead to satisfaction. Both men and women can have sexual impediments until they come out of the dominance of numbers and time--how long foreplay? how long penetration? how many down strokes? how many upstrokes? What's considered average time of making out before next step? Which breast to go to first? How much on each? All these are left brain waking- state "calculations" that don't work for women when formularized. And women have similar problems when then think analytically with the left brain about such things as "shouldn't I have cum by now? If I take more than ten minutes he'll cum and leave me feeling awful? I've gone in an out with my head for 15 minutes what's wrong with me that he hasn't cum?

All those are the types of time, distance, confining "left brain"-dominated ways of perceiving immediate reality. The right hemisphere of the brain which is dominant mostly during sleep but plays roles in our awake state as well where we get our creativity from--the ability to connect abstracts without calculation, the ability to just fly free into abandon is where it's at. We need both hemispheres to function as people but sex is a raw animal release facilitated by right-brain indulgences over left brain calculus. It's not a series of measurements. It is likely then that thinking in terms of numbers, distances and time is exactly counter to the way making love works best. You SENSE with your senses how someone else's biology is working and you learn without regimentation to be sensitive to what your partner is enjoying--giving, teasing, leading to want more, rejecting computation of everything in favor or absolutely free improvisation based upon gut level senses and pictures in the mind that get you excited--like seeing your mate not as a 130 lbbs of flesh in the dark but as an icon astride a horse riding through nirvana, hair flowing behind her.