The last time I spoke to my ex was end of last year and even ran into her a few months after, which was extremely frustrating and disheartening. I Stopped talking to my ex though, no contact for about five to six months. Was very upset and still struggling to move on. She broke up with me more than a year ago, but we still saw each other and reminisced and I tried to make things work, but she wasn't having it and eventually told me to stop contacting her. At this point I gave in and stopped contacting her, but it hurt so much to hear that after almost five years of being together.

I have been trying to date other people and she has moved on with other guys, which is fine, but still hurts. I am trying to work, stay busy, and think of anything but her, but at times it seems almost impossible and I feel pathetic and miserable. I started working out again, trying to stay positive and move on, and restart and put my life back together. NC is truly painful, but I try to remind my self, in the long run, it hasn't been enough time for NC but I am afraid she will never call me again.

How can my ex not call me for so long and how she moving on? Is she happy? Is the guy shes with better or more loving than I was? Did what we "had" mean absolutely nothing? I guess, in her mind its completely over and I should move on with other people and my life.

I have not meet anyone amazing yet, but have seen people here and there. I am afraid to give myself again to anyone else and I think about what my ex. is doing with someone else and it eats away at me.

I do understand though, if I do not get things together and move on and, "man up," I will never be happy again or find someone else to be happy with. I could be missing out on life and life with someone truly amazing, I get it.

But...I always wonder, will I ever receive that email, that text, or possibly even that phone call, like in the end of the movie, "Swingers." We all secretly want and hope for this and it drives us mad, but whoever has had that opportunity, I consider that a blessing and a curse, but ultimately amazing.

It has only been four to five months with no contact, but I do not know how people go so long, I read on here 8 months and more of NC and I think thats just torture. Will she ever call me again? Will I be one of the lucky ones to look down at my phone and see that number that makes me scared and amazing at the same time?

So, will she call and if she does, what will it mean? Will it mean she dated and got tired of it and thought of me or, she always loved me?

She said so many harsh things at the end, which were so hard to understand and take in, it was truly painful.

Here's some harsh things I had to hear and read-

I was told that-

"I love you, but I am not in love with you right now."

"Right now I do not think we should be together, but maybe someday."

"Do not call or contact me, you will just cry and be pathetic."

"Move on, because I am moving on with someone else, not you."

"We can't be together right now, but who knows."

I was told we would be, "just friends," and I will always love you, which makes me feel like total poop. That means nothing to me, even though its something.

She made it sounds like, no future plans, don't hope because that is pathetic, go find someone else to love, and do not call or contact me, NC forever.

I am low and have been through hard times, but I do not want to feel pathetic forever and always wonder what could be someday, will I ever see or hear from her again? Will she make that call everyone hopes for?

I do not know how to continue with the NC, because it hurts soo much and everyone says that, they will eventually call back and I do not believe it to be true but I hope it will be because I hurt so much.

In the meantime, I want to find someone else, but hope that my ex. and I will be together someday, I just can't picture anything else and its killing me and making me feel so foolish.

Any advice would be appreciated, I just want proof that they eventually call back, that you need to give time and space, to almost everything, even to the ones you truly love. That they will call back, it may just take a long time of NC to see so. I just want to hear from her so bad, but do not want to make things worse. Thanks.