You can't deny yourself forever.
When is the last time you have been just honest with yourself?
I mean honest.
The kind of honesty that extends past social situations. That part of you that is fully in tune with how you feel. But for some reason or another, it never expresses itself.
It's suppressed.
Hidden.
Pushed away.
Perceived as imaginary.
We do it everyday. Pretend like everything is ok. That we're exactly where we want to be in life. That everything is 'hunky dory' or described with some other adjective.
But you know it's not. You want more. You know EXACTLY what you want. You want it so bad to the point it frustrates you...maybe even scares you. So you fear it. Because you fear it, it feels out of reach. Since it feels out of reach, you don't even try.
Then there's sadness. Questioning. Trying to find the answer to why you never feel fulfilled.
The answer is simple: You deny yourself.
Why did you stop going after what you want? why do you ignore that frustration building so deep within? Why did you let go of your ambitions?
Why do you let men handle you anyway they please? Why do you lead women on?
You want a boyfriend? Why in the hell are you settling for fwb? You want a girlfriend? Why do you stay a 'friend'?
Why did you settle on life? love? happiness? wealth?
I don't know what your reason is. I couldn't say. But one thing is certain:
You can't deny yourself forever.
Those feelings won't go away. Those NATURAL feelings of desiring the best for yourself. Those feelings of a fulfilled life on all levels.
They will only grow, and grow, and grow. Stop running. Answer them. Listen to your soul. It's crying out to you. It wants you to search for happiness..fulfillment.
You know, there's a movie I love called Red Lights. It features psychologist Margaret and Tom who work to defraud the famous physic 'Simon Silver'.
Simon is so good, he's able to deceive the masses, and rake in millions. He decides to come out of retirement due to the fact that someone was killed who tried to expose him. So he wanted to silence the cirtics.
They struggle to do so throughout the movie. Margaret is assassinated. It continues right to the very end, where Simon takes the stage one last time. He gets a hitman to take
Tom out as he's in the bathroom.
But it wasn't enough. Tom had already beat Silver at his own game.
As he walked towards the stage, bloodied and bruised. Step by step, telling Silver, "You can't deny yourself forever.."
Because he knew Silver couldn't run from the facts. He couldn't run from truth. He couldn't run from himself.
And neither can you.
- 5
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