Developing Social Skills
I've always had the worst social skills. I have been painfully shy for years and struggled with social anxiety. Its strange how I put myself out there by joining social groups, yet feel so uncomfortable being around people. I tend to think that everyone thinks I am a freak because I used to be so socially awkward.
But another reason is because I lack social confidence and I really don't know how to present myself to others. The only time I am relaxed is when I am silly, spewing one-liners and laughing. Yeah, that may sound like a good thing, but I feel so odd about it. Maybe because its a first step in feeling good in my own skin. It's my only ability to give and take without being so wrapped up in myself and my doubts.
I'd like to develop social confidence more, but I guess I struggle to accept that confidence. I've been socially awkward all my life, and I feel being that funny person who makes others laugh or at least raise their eyebrows or nod in agreement is the only other option. I used to try to be more serious, but that only brought out my nerdy side, which is very strong!
I don't know what my point is here. I'm just growing into new skin, and it feels so strange. Its like I set out thinking that when I get better confidence, I would be and feel a certain way. But oddly, its become something I didn't expect. Or maybe this is just a step to being that stronger person with a firmer voice who gives off that confident vibe I always wanted to be.
5 Comments
Recommended Comments