Well, there has been some progress in my life. When I'm "with" Bob, I still think of John, but I'm able to be with Bob and enjoy myself. And let's face it, fantasizing about someone else is not exactly uncommon. No, not everybody does it and I don't do it ALL the time, but it's not like it's unheard of.

I still talk to John, about once every 2-3 days, but the conversations are shorter. I'm easing into the NC thing...ok, honestly I've got no intention of doing the NC thing anymore. The more honest answer is I'm easing into the friendship zone with him. He told me on Saturday that he thinks he started his new relationship too soon, and that she is getting in deep, and he is just not falling in love. She did know his feelings before they got involved so he isn't trying to protect her and is going to let things keep progressing to see if his feelings intensify.

I told Bob that I needed to feel a bit romanced. He of course wanted specific instructions. I tried to explain that if it's all my idea it automatically doesn't work, it's the thought that he puts into it that really makes something romantic. I encouraged him to do a google search for romancing your wife. I know he isn't good at passion or romance, but should that automatically get him out of any effort in that area? Anyway, he bought me flowers yesterday. It started like, "I was gonna buy you flowers but the florist is closed." Me: "That's very very sweet honey...the grocery store has a floral department." Him: "Really? I never noticed." We both had other things planned and later in the day he showed up with some groceries and some flowers! It was a wonderful first shot at the romance thing. I tried some "positive reinforcement" during the Tom Petty concert.

Healing is a slow process, but maybe my marriage will come out the other end even stronger. Actually, I think it will. Until I met John, I didn't even realize I was missing anything in my marriage. Being with him let me pinpoint what needs were not being met. You would not believe how long it's been since H has farted in my presence (at least on purpose), he finally believes me that I DO NOT find that SEXY!! I've been trying to convince him that I hate it for years! It's like a miracle! I think if that is the only improvement that sticks, all the pain of all the business with John will be worth it! Really...farts are NOT sexy.