I hate my family sometimes ...

my dad's health is crappy so me and my oldest sister have planned to go down there next week and spend 10 days power cleaning his house and generally trying to set up things so it's easier on him (one checking account instead of five, automatic bill pay on the accounts that offer it, etc).

I'm grateful that she's offering to do this because when my mother died, I felt like I didn't have support from any of my siblings (though to be fair Big Sis would do what she could for dad and visit mom as often as her job would allow), and that the burden was placed squarely on me to keep things running while there was so much other drama going on in my life at the time.

well, now it's starting to drive me crazy that the sibs just older than me have adopted this attitude of criticizing Dad but doing nothing to help. His house is filthy? Clean the damned thing! Oh wait, that would entail putting your *ss into gear without getting anything in return, wouldn't it?

I feel bad for my father because I think he's now beginning to see just how selfish they are, but he's not going to put his foot down because he's afraid they will completely cut him out of the loop (which my one brother did for like 20 years).

how do you make someone learn to care in a situation like that?