DARK TIME:

Yes, at this point I felt pretty abandoned. I lost my RL EA (Chinese friend), I was barely chatting with my LS friends (my workplace restricted access), and that one LS'r was becoming a pest. Not much I could do since they were friends with a mod and apparently I had a friendship with someone that bothered them for some reason.

Again, it was getting tiresome, exhausting, and it was going to cause others a headache if I hung around. I'm the type that gives people enough rope to hang themselves.

I concluded it was best for everyone, including me, to exit stage left (to quote Snagglepuss). I don't think I was myself much anyway. Or maybe, this whole time I wasn't myself when I joined LS. I bet that makes more sense.

After telling my almost cheating story (though in reality I think I was as close to cheating as I was close to making the NFL as a starting QB), one friend said 'I don't know what you are looking for at this point.' or something to that effect. And those words never left me. I run through that through my head literally every day.

That was the best gift I ever got, and it was unintentional. Serendipity.

AWAY FROM EVERYTHING

The time to begin my soul searching started at a perfect time. My distractions were minimal: No real life EA's, no more LS friends, no nothing.

Also, I could bury myself in my new paying hobby. Which I did.

NEXT TIME:

Totally over my EA?