Of course, a common question that many ask is 'Why don't you just get divorced if you are so unhappy in your marriage?'

First of all, every marriage is different as well as every divorce is different. I'm not going to discuss what a happy marriage should be. If everyone here had happy marriages/relationships, they probably would not be on LS in the first place.

'You are so unhappy! Don't stay married for the kids because it isn't fair and you are living a lie and they will feel more betrayed!'

Ok, this may be a point. I don't know. I don't have experience in raising teenagers. Are they going to slit my throat while I sleep because I didn't bail out of the marriage?

I don't think they are going to say 'Thank you, dad, for making yourself happy and getting that divorce! It was the right thing!' now at their young ages now.

The fact is, I don't have any place to go to be happier. It's not like I have Ms. Happy waiting around the corner.

I love how people expect their children to be so understanding about leaving an unhappy marriage for the sake of being true to oneself.

The fact is, I don't know if leaving is the right thing. Right now, I am trying to work on it, and while it's still looking pretty grim, I would think that the same kids that can be blessed with the concept of 'Leave the marriage and be happy' can also consider 'Dad, try to work on it and make it better!'

People don't really discuss what they are doing to make their marriages better, because when they first get here with the issue of a bad marriage we discuss what is going on.

So believe it or not, I'm trying.

It does deserves every chance I can give it, so I am not interfering with what may improve it.

Some people in life have no problem splitting up the family. And maybe that works for them and maybe it is the better choice. Sally Field left her husband and family behind to have a Hollywood career. Then she played around and got remarried and started anew. I could never do that. Who can leave their kids for any price? But maybe I'm wrong. But I will die wrong because can never ever do that.

Again, I think its different for everyone. Quick story, a man in my class is going through a horrible time. I asked him how he was doing and he said 'Horrible! She left me.' Meaning his wife. They have 3 kids: 16, 13, and 9. I see the kids in class sometime and the youngest isn't bothered by it at all. The other 2 are pretty crushed. But they are getting by ok it seems. So this leads me to believe divorce is not all bad for some kids? But time will tell.

But then another friend of mine is going through a seperation and that whole situation is MISERABLE. Custody fights, petty battles, money issues. Really ugly. And the children are not dealing well with it AT ALL. So honestly, I don't know.

But I do believe that every divorce and every marriage is DIFFERENT. This I know for a FACT. And each needs to be dealt with in a specific manner.

Mostly the only thing I see on this site extremes on both side of the issue: LEAVE or STAY.

So my situation? Well, to put it simply majority of my money was spent behind my back, so we have been in a bad situation. This was done abusing my trust (which is why I cherish that so much). So honestly, I cannot even afford to leave if I wanted. Would my wife have health coverage? I wouldn't leave her out to dry. I'm not like that. If I left, how would I afford rent on top of a mortgage? "oh, she can work!" No. Not really. Two words: Day Care.

I wonder if this is why celebritiesceleberties have so many divorces: they can afford it. Maybe money has something to do with ease of splitting up the family.

Don't get me wrong: if the kids were being abused or the home was dangerous, of COURSE I would divorce.

Another thing to consider as well : I really am involved with my kids. I get my daughter ready for school and take her to the bus stop. My wife could, but I like doing it. It fits with my work schedule. I do music lessons with her and we go to martial art class together once a week.

I read to my son as well as play games and we cook.

And the youngest, we are just getting started. He smiles so wide when he sees me and comes right to me.

Nothing is worth trading that right now. So if I simply got divorced to make 'me happy', thats a horrible plan. I have nowhere to go to be happier. I don't want to divide my time and steal moments from them mentioned above just so I can 'try' to be happier elsewhere.

I believe in spending quantity time with children over quality time. (Of course, there should be some type of quality mixed in with the quantity).

No one can predict how the divorced spouse will act. I don't need games being played with the kids or whatever. And I don't need my kids calling her new boyfriend 'uncle' or worse, 'Dad'. Thats not happening.

Why should I be robbed of my time with them? Why should they be robbed?

I don't know a parent that doesn't say "I would do anything for my kids!" Well, I agree, and I actually mean it.

So every week in the marriage, slowly but surely, I try to make the best of it.

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NEXT TIME: The Scam of Marriage