You know, I don't think marriage is for everyone. Growing up I thought I did. But now I realize I think it's an outdated concept from history that needs to be shelved or at least not so encouraged.

Think about it: Even from Biblical writings, there is much talk of marriage when you are young, and brothers marrying sister in laws with the husbands died, etc. People died quicker back then. Much quicker. And I'm pretty sure its to protect assets, land and belongings and build wealth.

You know, if you had a bad spouse, either they would most likely be dead in a few years or you would be. Not only that, if you were a male it might be ok to get another spouse.

Now today, people live longer than ever. I'm not going to dwell on this.

Think about the insanity of marriage: You are giving up everything you have and putting 100% trust into someone you may have known only few years. You are putting your complete happiness in that person's hands, because that person can really screw up your life if they wanted to.

Oh, and did I mention at this point you are supposed to know what love IS? You are supposed to know that the person you chose to marry is going to be most love you can feel for another person?

I don't know about you, but I don't really have control over my feelings before, during, and after marriage. If I did, I would simply decide I was totally in love with so and so and no one else.

Doesn't work that way, does it?

But lets consider this: if you dated someone for years and they screwed you up, you leave them in an instant. Your friends, family, and church would probably tell you to. They would encourage you to.

But if you had a day in the middle of that called a wedding, odds are you have friends, family, and church telling you to work it out. They would encourage you to.

Makes no sense. Maybe I am oversimplifying, but that's how I see it.

Same thing applies if you simply lose attraction to your boyfriend/girlfriend: you end the relationship and move on. And your friends, family, church would agree. (I don't really talk to my church, but I throw that in there for those that do).

But if you simply lose attraction to your husband/wife, you get guilted and deterred from divorce for those reasons by the same friends, family, church.

"You have to work it out." "Go to a counselor." blah blah.

I don't know about you, but I cannot generate feelings that are simply not there. I refused to lie to myself that way (though I did with the RL EA, didn't I? Damn, I am I contradicting myself? Seriously).

Well, thats my take on that.

The difference between dating and marriage is a day of commitment and vows? Honestly, it seems to be. And you if you made that commitment, you should now 'work it out'.

But if you weren't married, its ok to just leave.

Because I fell out of love quite some time ago, probably just like single couples fall out of love. Except that the time it took wasn't fast enough before I realized it was probably a mistake to be married.

And this just came to me now: If a person leaves a marriage with kids, they are judged for being bad parents for being selfish. If a person stays in a bad marriage with kids, they are judged for lying to themselves. Lose lose.

Maybe thats just how it is: Marriage is a lottery.

I have kids, I have to be responsible for them, and pros of me staying definitely outweigh the cons.