These are the rules which guarantee success in OLD:

1. Never ever answer a text or message.

2. If you're disinterested, act interested.

3. If you're interested, act disinterested.

4. Only kiss on the 11th, 2nd, or 19th dates.

5. Always take your ex along on dates.

6. Always be honest about how many people you are exclusively dating.

Never been known to fail.