This has been one hell of a week as far as my progress has gone. Really, it's just taken a major beating. Let's recall:

1. Monday night I have a freaky dream about John and Charlotte, that puts me back quite a ways.

2. Tuesday I'm feeling off all day and then stupidly decide to tell John about my dream. John proceeds to tell me he doesn't think he's in love with Charlotte and that if his recent feelings of blankness don't subside, he's going to end it.

3. Wednesday I don't talk to John, but know it is he and Charlotte's 1 month "anniversary" and they've got a special date planned. I'm thinking about what is happening the whole day.

4. Thursday John tells me his feelings of blankness have "faded significantly" and they are still together.

5. Friday a friend of Bob's comes over that just so happens to have the same first name as John and brings with him video of a sporting even filmed in John's home country. I mean really...how's a girl supposed to work with this?

6. Saturday I get an work email that I honestly think I should send to John, so I forward it along with very little substance to the email as I'm feeling ultra weird.

7. Sunday afternoon...John IM's me to thank me for the tip in the email. He is quick to say he isn't at work so I ask him where he is. He's at Charlotte's house, and she is watching TV but occasionally glancing at our posts. I continue to chat pretending this doesn't bother me, but I am so [insert appropriate adjective here] freaked out that 8 hrs later I'm still awake.

I was really doing so well. It all started with that stupid dream. Of course Bob noticed how freaked out I was today, so I told him everything and about how I feel like a failure of a wife. He of course took the role of comforter. I mean, what kind of person am I??? I'm upset about another man and my HUSBAND is comforting me? I feel like vomiting...really, it's that bad.