My gilfried of a year left me for almost 3 weeks of NC. I called her and we met for dessert. the next night i went to her place and we had sex and i slept over. she said the next night that she wants to just date me for the next 3 months and have no sex, so our judgement is not clouded. this gives me time to work on my issues and her on hers. i am in aggreeance with it for i love this woman and am willing to do what it takes to have a healthy relationship with her. how do i act around her? do you think this is a good thing to do? feedback is greatly appreciated. we are not together as a couple. she said she doesn't want any obligation as of now.

Hey Cali Guy,

Thanks so much for posting that advice up about NC. I'm in a not-very-cool situation with this guy who I have been seeing 3 months ago [and originally started out beautifully], as he's doing the whole "I don't think you're the one" but "let's hang out and be friends" thing. Coincidently, he's from San Diego too.. and I was so physically and intellectually attracted to him upon meeting him. And the irony is, he was more into me in the beginning. It's killing me.

Anyway, of course I'm still hanging out with him - originally with the intent of just being friends, but I realize now I obviously can't handle it. We're supposed to go to Oktoberfest this wknd with my friends.. but I think I'm going to tell him it's over in person after it's all done. NC. I hope I can be strong enough for it, I don't know yet. But your How-To Guide was very insightful.

So thank you.

Irene

Hey Cali Guy. You need a NC guide for when kids are involved. I'm trying to have NC with my wife but there's constant contact because of the kids. Its difficult!

Hey Cali Guy- girlfriend just broke it off with me on thursday as she wanted space. Not mad because I lost my swagger and became a JUMPER (jumped to everything that she wanted).Anyways, NC by me since that time but she has tried to contact me on several occasions-texted me at 9:40 pm on saturday to see how I was doing, called me at 2:45 am sunday morning and 1:30 pm sunday afternoon. No contact by her today but I did talk with her mom about her at work today. May have showed a little too much compassion while talking and think that I may have lost my edge. Should I continue contact with mom? If so, what can I say to regain edge as we both know that info will be shared with daughter.

Hi cali guy,i read many of your article and i can say you are great.

almost you said the right way and you have greate EQ.

So please acsept my opologize,I have in serious problem that my mind cant solve it,so

I know it may be repititve to you but please understand it's Too IMPORTANT for me.

about 3 years ago I meet on of my student in calss ,she younger than me.

when I saw her,I fall in love with her,i dont know how,but it's happend.

and unfortunately,many things goes wrong,but i'm still love her and want her back.

[email protected]

I must say all of story,If it's needed.

so may ask u to spend some time for me,and help me out this freezing Aera ?!!!!!!!

Realy i count on your help.

Thank's for ur kindness.

Hey dude, could you please help me? i really need your knowledge and advice, could you add me on facebook? not sure how to PM on here >>> benjamin james mills

Hey man, your guide is very well thought out, I need some advice and help on a few things. drop me an email [email protected]

yo caliguy, I got some questions for ya, and I know what your going to say but maybe you'll have a change of heart in this situation. I know how your all about NC but I honestly feel like this situation is different. is there anyways i can contact you beside this site? like email or facebook?

Okay so if you have read my past questions you will know the whole story..but to get to the point.

We broke up and now he says he wants to "date" again and take it slow. Says he wants to start from the beginning. Well...how do you do that when you were together for 2 years and lived together?

Its frusterating because everytime I ask him if he wants to hang out he says no..or that he has plans..or if he has time he will. He NEVER responds to my texts nor calls me. I feel like I am the only one fighting for this to work. He says how much he loves me and misses me, and how I am the one he is going to marry.

He said maybe Sunday we can watch the game but like seriously.....how romantic right? How am I supposed to exspect any attention doing that? He is a football nut...I dont exist when the game is on. I feel like he is not being fair and only wants to hang out when its conveinent for him. Im really feeling like a pushover but I love him terribly!! What do I do...? Should I give up? I dont get it...how is this dating?

Hey CaliGuy,

I just want to know certain things as this is my first time going through a break up. I have deleted my ex from MSN, her number, etc. but should I block them as well? Or it does not matter as long as I do not contact her?

She is also able to see whatever I do on facebook.

I don't want this break up to be a bad one but I don't think I am prepared to be friends at this point in time.

Thanks.

Hey Caliguy,

Heard about ur accident. Glad ur okay. Alot of prayers went out for you.

I was hoping to grab ur advice..ur always good at this kinda stuff...

So my ex broke up with me Dec 21, 2010. Wont go too far into it..but hes broke up with me before because he just wanted to do whats "best for us" and thought I deserved more. And to be perfectly honest..i beleive he is right...and im sure he has cheated on me. But i did bond with him an incredible amount during the time we were together and I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone outside of my family. ANyways..it didnt work out anyways and yet he is the one ALWAYS contacting me and at first it sounds like he wants to get back together, which he knows now that it is not what i want, and then he says im his best friend and he wants me to be in his life. I told him i needed time. He gives me a couple weeks then hes texting me again...its hard to do NC because i feel like any chance of being friends will be ruined...but also i feel like if he REALLY just wanted to be my friend he would leave me alone to heal. He told me he slept with someone else since..but he still wants me. I am having a hard time. He asked me to go to lunch wiith him today..i nver responded...but i know ill hear from him soon.

CaliGuy...loved your post on second chances. I have a question I have a recent post on how to act dignified if they are breaking with you...i know let go and move on and do NC..but if you think you might have done some things wrong and wanted to let them know you're moving on with love and acceptance would you email them before you go? I have some stuff I need off my mind before I do final NC?

Lynne

Hey Mr. CaliGuy. I joined this website to put my story up anonymously so I could see what I've been through and have others help me as well.

I'm sure you can find my thread somehow. It's in the Breakups section. I'd really appreciate feedback from you personally. My situation I find is a little different and I want an expert's advice.

Hey CaliGuy,

I could use some advice but I was wondering if I could email you the story...I wanted to keep it on the downlow and plus its a long story that will be a huge block of letters on your comment box journal thing lol.

Thanks

hey ive been reading your posts and the NC and i have a question for you....

an ex keeps adding me to FB he added me twice in less than 2 months.. i still love him and i dont want to be just friends.. i only want him back if its for good ive ignored his requests and while ive done that he has not contacted me in any other way.. how can i know the motive behind it?

what should i do?

in advanced thank you

Hey Caliguy... your NC guide is very helpful.. I am new and have a question.. You say to PM you on fb.. i don't go there.. Could you pm me. I would really like to hear your thoughts on my situation..Being new i am a little shy ..plus the situation is delicate

Hey Caliguy, funny story i was just google searching a general phrase like "she doesn't love me anymore" or "I want her back" and i came across a post on and started reading it. I saw the useful advice you gave but I remember the username from somewhere. Anyways i'm locally in NOVA as well and i'm on the bike forum .net (If you're on there you know what I'm talking about). Anyways I wanted to reach out to chat, email me at [email protected] when you get a chance