FaceBook is killing me
This isn't the typical Facebook rant. I don't have any problem with my status, and to date, I never have...whether or not I was single. I don't care if someone I know added me as a friend or not, or whether or not I have more friends than so-and-so or not. No, my frustration is more specific.
Back in elementary school, some 25-odd years ago, I found myself in the same class as an angel. Long dark hair, piercing brown eyes, an innocent, shy smile that could melt the polar caps, and a body that was so tight you could tune a piano to it. Personality-wise, she was the sweetest girl I had ever met. Of course, when we first met, I was more concerned with playing G.I. Joe and baseball than I was playing house. Besides, girls had cooties.
A few years later, when I realized that, although girls do have cooties, girl cooties are a good thing, she and I already found ourselves running in different circles. It may not seem like much now, but think back to your elementary/secondary school days. Back then, your place in the system was everything. Her place was with the In-crowd; mine wasn't.
I had one incident where I could possibly have been with her back in grade 7 (yeah, to this day I remember it in vivid detail). She got a guy to ask me out for her. The problem was that he was a joker who had tried this same scam on me with one other girl and on a buddy of mine previously. Unfortunately, it wasn't until after I told him where to stick it that I learned that this one was most likely legitimate. To this day, even after convincing myself that we were too different at the time to succeed, I still can't forgive myself for it.
In our senior year of high school, she got knocked up by, and eventually married the high school senior quarterback. After that, we lost contact (not that we had a whole ton to begin with), and until the advent of FB, I had no idea what happened to her.
There was always a 'thing' between us, though. There was just something in the way she'd look at me as she walked by. A bit of a lingering stare and a little hint of that famous smile always kept her at the very top of my "if I only had a chance" list (yes, even above Cindy Crawford).
Fast forward to a month or two ago. She found me on FB and did the whole friend request thing. Of course, there's no way I could say no to her, even if I had wanted to...which, of course, I didn't.
You know the show Gilmore Girls? You know how Luke kind of sits in the background, absolutely going mental over Lorelei, but he can't say anything because she's always involved with someone else? Yeah, I know how Luke feels (without the pickup truck - I have a Harley instead).
So anyway, here's the frustration. She's no longer with the QB (they split up about two years ago), but she's with another guy, and has been so for about a year now. It's just about killing me, because she still has that same, sweet beauty that she had as a kid. Even glancing at her picture melts my heart and crushes it in the same instant. It's funny that I can see the picture of an ex who cut me deeper than I ever thought possible and not flinch, but the picture of this angel still slams me in the chest.
It's kind of a drug. I know it's not good for me, but I just can't resist. No, I'm not going to try and steal her away; I've had chicks stolen from me, and I don't wish that on anyone. Besides, she seems happy. But if she ever becomes single...
I really don't know why I'm posting any of this. It doesn't really serve much purpose, except to show just how much of a schnook I am, and how perpetually hung up I am on this girl. But yes, I still think she's an angel, and I'm still posting all this.
Note: In the event that you grew up in the Niagara area and are one of those nosy people who wants to know the names in question, sorry, I'm not going to tell. However, if you think you know either her or me, PM me with your guess, I'll tell you if you're right or wrong.
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